Home Fanfics Go Back
Katniss wakes up disoriented to the smell of sawdust and the feel of a blanket softer than the quilt she used at home. She sits up quickly, panic setting in as she tries to recall where she is and her reason for being there. In the dim morning light, she sees Peeta still asleep on the bed beside hers, and remembers that they're in a hotel room in District 7. They're there to help with the labor dispute.
She feels restless after a day spent on the train and then in a meeting room, and then a tavern. So she writes a note to Peeta, changes clothes as quietly as she can, and slips out into the early morning of District 7.
It's gorgeous here, something she did not fully appreciate during her Victory Tour. The mills are big, ugly buildings, but aside from that, the buildings in town are quaint, painted bright colors and inviting. And just beyond, there are miles of forests, all planted carefully, some areas thinned, and some with young trees growing up where trees have been taken down.
She sees dirt roads into the woods, presumably where the crews venture in and trucks can travel to bring the logs back to the mills. And there are crystal clear ponds with fishing docks and small boats tied up. The air is fresh and the sun is out, and Katniss takes a long walk around one of the ponds, enjoying the feeling of stretching her legs, and of no one needing her for anything at that particular moment.
When she heads back through the town, she remembers what the mayor had said: that there was no hospital, and no Healers. That the kids rarely got to finish school, because they had to start working so young. It didn't sound so different from District 12, and she wonders if District 12 will face these problems soon enough, once their buildings are up again. Her mother, their only Healer, had up and left. The thought is less of a realization and more of a frustrated remembrance, but it still gives Katniss pause. She wasn't that far from District 4. She wonders if her mother is there, even now.
Impulsively, she goes over to the train station. There's probably a train straight from 7 to 4. She isn't going to get on it — at least not today — but she wants to know if it exists. She asks the attendant at the counter, and he nods. "Coming in now, ten minutes or so," he says.
"What?"
"The train from 4? Comes every Wednesday and Saturday morning, and leaves again just after noon."
She thanks the attendant and stops to buy a pastry from a vendor on the platform. It isn't like anything they had in District 12. This was spiced and full of nuts and dried fruit, but she likes it a lot. And as she eats, she sees the train pull in.
There's no reason to stay and watch. There's no possible chance her mother would be coming to 7, unless of course there was. She imagines her mother coming here because she heard that there is no Healers. Maybe she comes on the Wednesday train and leaves again on Saturdays. Maybe she only comes once a month. Logically, she knows this is all stupid, that her mother is not going to arrive on the train, but Katniss can't help but wait on the platform, just to be sure.
Once the doors open, only a few people get off. Some look like the lumberjack type she's been used to seeing, in flannel shirts and denim jeans, some with arms and legs bandaged up. A couple look like traders, and she wonders if District 4 and District 7 do some trading of their own, without the rest of Panem involved. And after everyone else, off steps Johanna Mason.
Katniss wonders if she's seeing things at first, but Johanna is unmistakable, with her sharp features and the hostile look in her gray eyes. Her hair has grown, Katniss sees, still cropped but styled into a more feminine shape, and though she's wearing a loose, long-sleeved shirt, Katniss can see her legs are still twigs where they emerge from her shorts, weight that she never gained back after the war. "Johanna?" she calls.
Johanna looks over in her direction, surprise on her features to see Katniss on the platform. "Katniss? What are you doing here?" She was carrying a rucksack in her arms, but now she slings it over one shoulder and walks to meet Katniss. Up close, Katniss can see that she looks older, lines around her eyes, tendons too apparent on her neck. All of her looks too fragile, like she's still using morphling, which might be true. She lights up a cigarette, offering one to Katniss.
Katniss shakes her head, declining. "I'm here about the strike. Paylor asked me to come. Peeta and Haymitch are here, too."
"Surprised you came," she says.
If Haymitch had been surprised at the mention of Johanna, Johanna showed none of the same trepidation at the mention of his name. They turn to descend the platform, but Hudson is there, suddenly, blocking her way.
Johanna pulls out the cigarette Katniss had declined, puts it in her mouth to light it, then hands it to him. The whole thing was done with such ease that Katniss wonders how well they know each other. "How was it?" he asks her, ignoring Katniss completely for the moment.
Johanna shrugs, taking another drag of her own cigarette. "Same as usual. Got more of the pills, at least."
"Did you eat yet?"
She shakes her head. "They never give us food on the 'short service', even though it's like 8 hours. Don't even get a bed when it runs overnight."
Katniss thinks of the train service she had on the way over, the train car that was more like a hotel room, and the adjacent car with all the food and drinks she could want. She wants to ask so many things: did Johanna see her mother in District 4? Why did Hudson bluff about the hostage? Were they dating? But she feels like she can't ask any of them, and just follows them back into town.
Johanna turns back to Katniss once they get down from the platform, and Katniss realizes she's remembered Johanna as taller than she is. In reality, she's a few inches shorter than Katniss, and she looks up to speak with her. "You said Peeta is here?"
Katniss nods, surprised. "Yeah. I left him sleeping back at the hotel, though maybe he's up by now."
"If your friend is up, he's probably at the Canteen," Hudson says. "Only good place to get breakfast around here."
They make their way across the square, Hudson pulling Johanna's rucksack off of her shoulder. She reaches to take it back, but he quickly pulls it up out of her reach. "Fine, carry it, be my guest," she says, pushing open the door to the Canteen.
And then Katniss nearly runs into her back as she stops, and follows her gaze to where Haymitch is sitting at a table with Peeta, his eyes moving to her as she walks in. But it's Peeta who stands, rushing to the entrance, looking between the three of them, then focusing on Katniss, trying to understand what's happened.
"Hey, Peeta," Johanna greets, her smile easy and her tone light. It's the same relaxed attitude Finnick would use, Katniss realizes after a moment, the strange way they seemed almost trained to put people at ease.
And Peeta looks fraught, inspecting Johanna, afraid to get too close. She turns and puts out her cigarette in an ash tray by the door, now a little embarrassed that they've attracted the attention of a few people also eating breakfast. Katniss realizes how this looks to Peeta, like she's somehow negotiated with Hudson for Johanna's release, but she doesn't know how to explain that this isn't the case at all.
"Jo, are you alright?" he asks.
She nods, leaning in to hug him. "Yeah, of course. Just hungry."
He steps back, and the three of them get food before joining him and Haymitch at the table. Katniss doesn't even glance at what she's served until she's seated, but it looks familiar enough: eggs and some kind of hot cereal, sausage links, and a mug of what might be hot cider. She can feel Hudson and Haymitch sizing each other up, and she wonders if she should intervene, at least explain how Johanna just got off a train from 4, and wasn't ever a 'hostage' in these negotiations.
"I saw Annie," Johanna tells Peeta. She seems to be pointedly ignoring both Haymitch and Hudson, so Katniss chooses to do the same.
Peeta looks surprised, then smiles a bit. "Really? When?"
Johanna shrugs. "I go every month or so, just for a few days. Just got back this morning. Her baby is huge now, big guy. And he doesn't just walk, he can run. He was zooming all over the place."
Peeta's face lights up as Johanna talks, but Haymitch turns his attention to her fully. "You were in 4? Just now?"
She shrugs, still not making eye contact with him. "Yeah, why?"
He turns back to Hudson, a skeptical look on his face. "No reason. Just seems like your friend might have some explaining to do."
Johanna looks at Hudson, but he won't meet her gaze, so she reaches out to snatch the cigarette from where it is tucked over his ear. He tries to get it back, but he's forced to face her. "What did you do?" she asks, placing it in his hand.
He sighs, giving her a look as if to ask 'can't we discuss this in private?' but Johanna is unrelenting, and so he is forced to continue. "I told them we were holding you hostage, until the negotiations were settled," he says. "They wouldn't take us seriously otherwise. They aren't going to, I can tell."
She raises her eyebrows, considering this. "Oh, that wasn't a bad plan. Sorry I ruined it. You should have told me to stay away."
"I tried to meet you on the platform, but she found you before I did," he says, glancing at Katniss.
"It's fine, I'm back now. I'll think of a better one." She hands back the cigarette, and turns back to her meal.
"Wait, you're not going to try to help end this?" Katniss asks.
Johanna nearly snorts into her drink, but recovers before she meets Katniss's eyes. "Oh, I want to end this," she says, "Probably more than you do."
"I mean, you're on their side?"
Johanna offers Katniss a look that she can only interpret as a mixture of amusement and pity. "Of course I'm on their side, Katniss. When have I ever been on the Capitol's side?"
Katniss wants to scream — to ask Johanna what the hell was the rebellion for if she's still unhappy with the Capitol? She wants to grab her and shake her shoulders and ask what she's supposed to do, because Paylor was the people's choice, and Paylor had asked this of her, but if this was the wrong position to take, what is she supposed to do? Burn it down and try again? She feels overwhelmed suddenly, cramped in this room that smells of tobacco and feels thick with the tension of too many unspoken feelings. She stands to go, hoping Peeta can take care of her dishes and the payment, hoping that the fresh air will clear her mind at least a bit.
She walks out to the nearest pond and sits on one of the fishing docks. She sees a cluster of primroses nearby and wants to cry. Her arms ache under her long sleeves from where they're pushed against her legs, and from the rapidly warming sun hitting them. And a moment later, Johanna comes out and joins her.
Katniss wants to run away, maybe to lock herself in the hotel room where Johanna can't follow, or to just shout at Johanna that she was the reason Katniss is out here in the first place. Maybe then she'd go away. But she feels stuck, paralyzed even, and so when Johanna slips off her shoes and dangles her feet in the water, Katniss doesn't do anything. It isn't until Johanna makes a jerking motion that almost seems like she might fall in that Katniss moves forward, to pull her back, if need be.
But Johanna recovers well, and then she lies back on the dock, one arm draped over her eyes to block out the sun. "That happens now, after that prison," she says. "You can just ignore it. I don't get seizures anymore, now that I have the pills."
"I thought you were going to fall in."
Johanna smiles, a little lazily. "I can't swim well, not like Finnick, but I can swim a bit."
They sit in silence for a while, and Katniss watches the life at the edge of the pond. Birds she isn't used to seeing, little frogs, chipmunks and squirrels. She wonders how different it is in winter. She had heard 7 had notoriously cold and snowy winters. "Who is he to you?" she asks, after a while.
"Who? Hudson?"
As if there could be anyone else. Katniss supposes she could have been asking about Haymitch, but given Johanna's absolute avoidance of Haymitch so far, she doubts Johanna is ready to approach that topic. "Yeah."
"He's my cousin. My real cousin."
Katniss hadn't been expecting this answer, though she could have done without the jab. "You seem close."
She shrugs. "We both don't have anyone else left," she says. She sighs. "We used to go to school together. He's a couple years ahead. I was… I don't know… ten? Eleven? When my dad died, and my mom thought… I don't know… I guess she thought that the loggers didn't do enough to protect him. He died in a logging accident, and after that she kind of isolated us. I dropped out of school that year, but I was too young to work in the mills, so I just sold cigarettes in town. People felt bad for me, I guess, and they liked tobacco, so I did alright. But I never saw my cousins because they were 'loggers', and because I didn't go to school."
Katniss bites the inside of her cheek. It's impossible not to think of her own father's death, of her mother's depression after. Of the ways she had to get creative to earn enough money that they wouldn't starve. "Did you have siblings?"
Johanna nods. "A little sister and a little brother. Imogen and Tommy. I put in for Tesserae every year, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised I got reaped, but I really was blindsided. They were killed by Snow the second year after I won. House fire."
A part of Katniss wants to understand why, just a stupid curiosity, but she knows Snow killed for the least whim, that it was probably over something completely trivial.
"Anyways that's all irrelevant. I didn't really reconnect with Hudson until after the war. Blight and Jackson were gone, and I didn't really know how to help District 7. And I wasn't doing great myself when I showed up. He's helped me out a lot."
Katniss doesn't know what she wants to ask, exactly, but she can feel the discontent stirring in her chest. "Why did you fight in the rebellion, if you aren't satisfied?" It's the simplest way she can put it.
Johanna sits up again, as if she understands that Katniss is trying to work something out. "Why did you fight under Coin, only to kill her at the end?"
"What?"
"Answer me."
"I ended up under Coin," she says. "I was thrown into that rebellion. I didn't choose Coin. But I could see that I didn't want her to lead Panem."
Johanna nods, and Katniss can see that her eyes are on Katniss's arms, where the burn scars are, even though they're covered by her shirt sleeves. "You decided your fight was over," she says. "I didn't. You got what you wanted out of it. I didn't. That's why."
She wants to say how they almost killed Johanna. How Johanna, of everyone, should deserve a break after all of this, but she stops herself, because she wonders if she's just trying to justify herself stopping. She can hear Peeta's voice in her head, telling her that it's alright, that others can do the rest, that she's done enough. But is it really alright for her to stop, if Johanna is here going still? "You'll be fighting til you're dead to get everything you want," she says, and it ends up coming out more spiteful than she intends.
"Fine," Johanna answers, as if she predicted that kind of response. "What else am I living for?"