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On the third day of camp, Sayo woke up to her alarm, surprised to see Tae had already woken. She was not in the room, so Sayo put on her slippers and a cardigan and walked down the hall, finding Tae in the common room, seated at a large table with books and papers spread out around her. Oddie was hopping here and there in the much larger space as she worked.
“Tae-san! You can’t just bring Oddie out here!” Sayo said. “What if someone sees him?”
Tae looked at Sayo as if just realizing she had entered the room. “Hmm? I hope they find him charming. He’s got a great personality,” she said, putting down her pencil.
Sayo held in the sigh of exasperation threatening to leave her lips. “It’s not about if they like him. It’s about the fact that he’s (probably) not allowed here!”
Tae’s eyes widened in understanding, making Sayo believe that she truly had forgotten that Oddie was their little secret. On the past two nights, their room check had consisted of someone poking her head in for a moment to see if they were in their rooms by curfew, nothing more, so perhaps the rules were a little lax here, but Sayo was not about to let them get kicked out. “Oddie, Sayo says you need to go back into hiding,” Tae said strictly, wagging her finger at the rabbit.
“Don’t make it my fault,” said Sayo. “That’s just the way things are.”
“Oddie, I don’t wish it to be this way, but Sayo has placed limits on your freedom to roam,” Tae continued dramatically. “She is your jailer.”
“It’s not like that!” Sayo sputtered, watching as Tae gathered up the rabbit in her arms and carried him out of the room, presumably back to their shared room.
Sayo reviewed the work that was left behind on the table, impressed that Tae had made steady progress that morning. Once Tae returned, Sayo left to get dressed, and make good on her promise to fetch the banana, especially since the rabbit probably hated her now.
She checked her phone before she left, surprised to see a text from Rinko. Sayo-san, I apologize if you thought that Ako-chan and I were teasing you last night. We really just got excited and got carried away. Whether you have just become friends with Hanazono-san or have stronger feelings, we support you and are here if you want to talk. We’re so sorry we made you feel like you had to log off right away last night! Have a good day at camp! -Rinko
Sayo felt herself blush as she read the message, both for the implication (once again) that she might have stronger feelings than friendship for Tae, and for the fact that Rinko was blaming herself for Sayo logging off when it was completely Sayo’s doing. Because Sayo could not communicate properly or face up to her friends, she chose to just leave the chat and the game the night before. She felt ashamed. She drafted a reply as she walked to the dining hall, dressed today in a white short-sleeved blouse, a brown jumper-style dress, and her white sneakers. She carried last night’s porcelain from Oddie’s dinner salad to return in her free hand.
Rinko, no apology is necessary. I understand that you and Ako were just teasing me, but I overreacted last night. I know it’s difficult for me to make friends, so I value the beginnings of a friendship I have managed to make with Hanazono-san, that’s all. I will be sure to be in touch soon. Thank you for your message. -Sayo
Sayo re-read the message, cringing a bit at how formal she sounded, even to a friend and bandmate, but she had arrived at the dining hall, so she sent it without editing. Once inside, she ate her breakfast as usual, then returned to the counter, and with great embarrassment, explained her errand: that she was there in Hanazono Tae’s place to obtain a banana slice for her rabbit’s breakfast. Luckily, the woman behind the serving line was kind, or at least a fan of Tae, and handed her a small bowl with a banana slice with a smile. Thanking her, she returned to the dorm.
The rabbit ate the banana happily, and it seemed they were on good terms again. Tae had packed away the summer homework, and today was wearing a long blue skirt with a black tank top. She had once again tied the black ribbon around her neck. Seeing Sayo look at the very un-Tae-like outfit, she shrugged. “Honestly, Kasumi found clothes I forgot I owned.”
They walked to the first session together, guitars slung over their shoulders. Sakurai Ami was there, greeting Tae who looked surprised by the interaction. “Hanazono-san! I’m so glad you’re feeling better! I was supposed to check on you, but then Hikawa-san volunteered to take my place. But then I was feeling a bit guilty that I didn’t do my job…” she said, laughing lightly.
“Ah, it’s no problem, Sayo did fine,” Tae said, her voice a little less confident than how she usually spoke with Sayo.
Despite Ami’s sunny morning greeting, things did not seem to be going well overall. There was another class gathering nearby, and between all the girls getting ready to start, the atmosphere seemed tense to Sayo. She wasn’t sure if there was another girl being ostracized, if more people were talking about Tae, or what the latest drama was, but she didn’t care to get involved. She had come here to improve her skills, not gossip about the other participants.
It seemed to be taking a toll on their lessons, however. In the morning session, some of the girls might giggle after a particular girl received a critique, and overall their playing just didn’t sound as sharp and put together. The teachers seemed to notice too, calling them to attention more often and asking them to focus.
By the lunch break, it seemed that a strange tension had broken over the entire camp. The cafeteria was oddly hushed when Sayo entered, with girls in small groups huddled together, without the usual interaction between tables she had gotten used to seeing. “We should go outside to review,” said Sayo, knowing full well she could not work in this kind of atmosphere.
Sayo did not remember that this request meant that she would also be removing dishware from the dining room, a practice she still disdained, as much as she overlooked it when Tae did it (and when she fetched Oddie’s breakfast). But soon she was undertaking a picnic of sorts with Tae, at least to get away from the strange atmosphere in the cafeteria.
They sat outside on a stone bench in the sunlight, and Sayo had to remember to focus on her food and the homework that Tae was bringing out rather than on the way the sun shone through Tae’s long brown hair, and the way the wind gently blew her dress around her in a mystical way. Sayo couldn’t help but think of Rinko and Ako’s teasing, and Lisa’s subsequent phone call and blush. She didn’t like Tae, she couldn’t like Tae, could she?
They ate slowly and Sayo reviewed her homework, mostly the English homework, which was not as terrible as Sayo had thought on a first review. Or perhaps Tae had gone back and re-worked it, she wasn’t sure. In any case, they made good progress, getting perhaps a third of the assignment ready to hand in, and Sayo had time to check over a bit of the math she had been doing, which was fairly well-done, at least compared to the English.
Towards the end of the lunch period, one of the girls Sayo could not remember the name of came storming out of the dining hall, looking close to tears, her hands balled into fists. From her vantage point, Sayo had trouble telling if this girl was hurt or angry, but another girl came chasing after her, a friend most likely, asking her to wait. Still, the girl stormed off in the direction of the dormitories, looking more than ready to blow off afternoon lessons.
Soon enough, Tae and Sayo packed up their dishes and Tae’s homework and made their way to the location where the afternoon lessons would be taking place. To their surprise, there was a sign on the door directing them back to one of the main meeting rooms. Following the directions, they proceeded back in that direction, realizing as they entered that this was likely going to be a meeting of all of the participants.
“Do you think we’re all having a lesson together?” asked Tae, as they filed in, finding seats around the edge of the room.
“I haven’t a clue,” said Sayo, scanning for clues, such as which instructor was presenting this session, or listening for snippets of gossip from the participants, but coming up blank. Somehow she doubted this was as straightforward as a guitar lesson.
Finally, once everyone was settled, Tachibana-sensei came to the front, clearing her throat, accompanied by Ueda-sensei. “Good afternoon,” she said, her tone rather stiff. “I have a couple announcements here today, so I am pausing afternoon lessons to get us all on the same page. First, Ueda-sensei?”
The much shorter Ueda-sensei came to the front. “The first announcement is that we are having a short, informal recital on Saturday evening. Each participant will play one song, either solo or together in a pair with one other participant, and after there will be a reception with refreshments and a chance to socialize before you head home on Sunday. Pairs of acoustic and electric guitar combinations are allowed. Vocals are allowed but not required. A backing track is allowed with some restrictions, you can discuss this with your mentor. Ah! Let me explain: each soloist or pair will have a staff mentor to assist them with their performance, you can pick the mentor of your choosing. Just know if you pick someone more people are picking, she may have less time to assist you.”
Sayo took in this new information. Today was Wednesday afternoon. Saturday night she was supposed to have a song ready to go and perform it for others. That was 3.5 days, excluding time for lessons, working with Tae, sleeping, and eating. A new sense of dread began to set in.
“Now, before you panic, please understand,” Ueda-sensei continued, “We will work on your individual songs in your upcoming lessons. In your phrasing classes, you will work on phrasing for your song. In composition class, we will study the composition of each of your songs. You will understand these songs inside and out. It’s no reason to worry, perhaps just worry about your stage presence because we do not practice that,” she said with a light smirk.
Tachibana-sensei stepped forward once again. “Now, that being said, I am suspending lessons this afternoon.”
Some girls seemed extremely pleased by this news, some seemed very disappointed, but by and large, there was just a lot of confusion following this announcement. Sayo looked at Tae, who seemed to have a look of understanding on her face. Did she know something Sayo didn’t, or was she just more intuitive?
Tachibana-sensei continued. “You all seemed to have fallen into a pattern of worrying about each other and your egos more than improving at the guitar and working towards your best selves. You are not in competition - the improvement of all women at guitar is the goal. Therefore, I am requiring an afternoon relaxing in Osaka to unwind and spend some time thinking about where your priorities are and what you want to focus on during the second half of camp.
“I am not requiring you spend this time with new people, or people you don’t particularly like - you’re not in middle school - you can even spend this time alone if you wish, but I hope that this break will help you refocus and clear any delusions that you need to worry about anyone else but yourself while you are here.”
Naturally, Sayo ended up going with Tae. She supposed she would be fine walking around Osaka by herself, but she didn’t particularly like being alone in a new city, and she didn’t much like the idea of hooking up with one of the large groups, like the ten or so girls tagging along with Eriko.
Tae didn’t bother putting her guitar back in their room, but went with Sayo to drop hers off. They tucked away their camp lanyards and took their wallets and cell phones along with their room keys, Sayo feeling more and more like she was going on a real adventure. “Where should we go?” asked Sayo, as they headed for the campus gate.
“No clue,” said Tae. “I thought we could just walk toward the river and go anywhere that looked interesting.”
This was a bit of a difficult statement for Sayo to accept because she had never been one to just ‘go with the flow’ and also because there were rivers in two directions, and she wasn’t sure what Tae’s goal was at all.
Sayo wished the instructors had given them some sort of direction more than just ‘enjoy your time and get refocused’. She did better when she had a task to accomplish.
“How did you know we weren’t going to have afternoon lessons?” Sayo asked, now suspicious that Tae knew this from the very start and her question about a group lesson was rather facetious.
“Hmm?” asked Tae, turning back towards Sayo, something swinging a bit on her bag. Did she always have a charm there? “Oh! Because the vibe was bad. It was impossible to make any good music like that. Couldn’t you feel it too? Like a dark cloud hanging over.”
Sayo nodded. She supposed she could feel it, but she didn’t realize that that was the reason Tae knew the lesson was canceled. Tae turned back around, leading her to a destination neither of them were sure of.
Then Sayo realized - it wasn’t a charm. Hanging off of her bag was a mini-amp. She must have clipped it on when they stopped back at the room. “Tae-san, were you planning to play out here?” asked Sayo.
“Oh, I wasn’t sure, I wanted to be prepared,” said Tae, tapping the little amp as she reached behind her.
Sayo tried to imagine busking outside of the station or at the riverbank and almost blushed from the embarrassment. Tae was impulsive, she could try to lure Sayo into it as well. And Sayo absolutely couldn’t bear the idea of playing an impromptu show to unsuspecting people. The idea filled her with dread. She didn’t care what they did in Osaka, but she needed to avoid that outcome. “First you have no idea what we’re doing on this adventure, then you want to just set up and do a street performance? In a city you’ve never been to? Do you think anything through?” asked Sayo.
She knew she was being logical, but one look at Tae’s face as she glanced back told her she had upset her. In a way, she knew she wasn’t being fair - how could Tae plan for a trip to Osaka given five minutes' notice (and Sayo hadn’t had any suggestions for what to do), but Sayo was not prepared for the pain in her chest seeing the hurt in Tae’s eyes.
Tae laughed lightly in a self derisive way that reminded Sayo uncannily of Lisa. “I guess I don’t really think anything through,” Tae said. “Spending time with you has made me realize that I’ve been getting by just with… luck, I suppose. But I really don’t want anything more than to play guitar for people. I’m sorry.”
Sayo wanted to apologize, but didn’t have the words. Tae continued walking, this time faster and more determined. Sayo was somewhat certain that if she did not keep up with Tae now, she would lose her in the unfamiliarity of Osaka in no time.
Guilt weighed on her, but she continued to lack the right words to say. She realized as soon as she had spoken that Tae had been looking forward to playing guitar on this adventure, but she didn’t have any way to put the words back in her mouth. Truly, it was Sayo who could be the thoughtless one sometimes. Without an immediate way to clear the air, she decided against a half-assed attempt at an apology. So she continued to follow, determined at least not to let Tae out of her sight.
Finally, after several blocks of walking in silence, Tae ducked into a doorway. Did she have a destination in mind after all? Had she known where she was going?
She entered into a tiny lobby, opening a second door and descending down into a basement. Though it was still bright afternoon at street level, the sunlight quickly disappeared from view as Sayo followed Tae down the stairs. Sayo was at first concerned - Tae was leading her into a strange building after all - but she saw that all four floors of this building were dedicated to various shops, so she relaxed a bit. Perhaps Tae just saw something that piqued her interest on the bottom floor. Besides her feelings of embarrassment and shame for her outburst earlier, Sayo felt that it was her responsibility to accompany Tae at this point - it was just dangerous for a young woman to walk alone in a strange city.
Tae took a right at the bottom of the stairs, opening the all black, windowless door to a shop that was called “Heretic” in English. It was a record shop, she realized at once, spying rows and rows of shelves of CDs and vinyl records available for purchase. The entire shop continued the black motif, with some live show posters on the walls and some neon lights breaking up the monotony. Western rock music was playing over the speakers.
Tae walked up to the counter while Sayo looked at CDs here and there, returning a moment later with some sort of slip. “This way,” she said, not sounding particularly upset, but not sounding exactly like herself either. For some reason, Sayo got a sudden flashback to visiting Tae in the infirmary (was that really just the day before?) and her sitting too close to Sayo on the bed, in that white dress.
Sayo did as she was told, and followed Tae to the back of the store, where a female attendant led them into a small listening booth, much like a small karaoke booth, padded with sound-proofing on the walls. A nice set of speakers was mounted in the upper corners. The attendant showed them how to navigate the shop’s digital music library.
Well, it was an effective way to kill time, if nothing else, Sayo figured. “How did you know to come here?” Sayo asked after they were alone again, wondering if Tae even had the capability to search things on that ancient phone of hers.
“I come to this neighborhood sometimes with my mom, since she buys and sells some of our rabbits around here. I found this place while waiting for her once.”
“You come to Osaka for rabbits?” Sayo asked, trying to imagine a rabbit transaction justifying that much travel.
Tae nodded. “Rabbits can go for several tens of thousands of yen, if you raise them right,” she said. “But we can talk about that later. You’re here for a lesson,” she said.
Sayo remembered there was a tension between them by Tae voluntarily stopping a conversation about rabbits. “I am?” she asked. She hadn’t imagined Tae actually came here for her.
“There are things I can try to help you with on guitar, but I’m not that skilled. Some things are best left to the pros. Let’s start with… this…” She pressed play and turned up the volume, and an American folk song that sounded like it was from the 1970s filled the room. Tae pulled out her guitar and the mini-amp, connecting it with a cable, and rested it on her lap as they sat on the small leather bench in the small room, listening to the guitar she had selected for them. Sayo couldn’t place the band, let alone the song.
“This part right here,” said Tae. Sayo listened closely, indeed hearing a nice run on the guitar, leading into some nice picking as the vocalist carried on. She paused the song. “It was something like this…” she mumbled, trying to imitate the initial run. It took her three tries, but then she replicated it perfectly. “Then it was just barred C#m, G#m, B, A, I think. Simple.” She continued on, playing the chords she had dictated, and she was correct, as far as Sayo could hear, but Sayo couldn’t wrap her head around the way the pick moved so rapidly.
“What pattern are you picking with?” Sayo asked.
“Ah, um,” she went through it again, but slower, “bass and 1, 3, 2, 1, bass, 2,1.” Unexpectedly, she handed Sayo the guitar.
Sayo suddenly thought of the night before- of touching this guitar without permission, but quickly put it out of her mind. Tae’s guitar was slightly larger than her’s, but had about the same weight. She formed the C#m chord, and picked the bass and top string together. Instinctively, she had reached for the sixth string as the bass note, but quickly moved her thumb to the fifth string. If Tae saw this, she didn’t say anything. Sayo plucked them both, then moved her pick up, 3, 2, 1 strings, then again on the fifth string, then 2 and 1. It was about half the speed of Tae, and despite trying to time each note evenly, it sounded wrong.
Tae looked a little shy (perhaps she didn’t want to offer feedback to a senpai?), but Sayo needed help. “Tae-san, any advice is appreciated, really,” she said.
“Well, my music teacher recommended I make up phrases to remember the cadence of each picking pattern, since each note in the sequence is not played at an even interval. So for this style, I would always practice while singing “Odd-ie likes ONE ba-NA-na,” she said, blushing profusely at the song.
Sayo nodded, beginning to understand. Strangely, this song may have been the most helpful thing Tae had taught her so far. “Odd-ie likes ONE ba-NA-na,” she sang quietly and slowly, her picking still slow, but her cadence much better. She changed to G#m. “Tae-san likes YA-ki-SO-ba.” She changed to B. Tae took over. “Sa-yo likes FRIED po-TA-toes,” she sang, a little faster, with Sayo speeding up to keep up. Tae continued as Sayo switched to the A chord. “Sayo is a MO-del STU-dent.”
Sayo set down the guitar. She was surprised she had made that much progress in only five minutes, and with silly songs at that. Now, it was just a matter of repetition. “You said that was just one picking pattern, so there’s more?” she asked.
Tae nodded. “Dozens. But there’s probably only about five important ones.” She changed the track, and next up was an American country-western song. The female vocalist had a twangy voice, and behind her, a guitar was picking out the melody. Tae played that song, then a modern rock song Sayo had heard before but not paid attention to, and then a folk song she was familiar with, but had the most complicated picking of all the styles. For each, Tae drew her a diagram of the pattern of the picking, and they wrote down a couple example songs to follow the cadence for when Sayo practiced. All in all, it was a very effective hour.
It wasn’t until they decided to relax the last ten minutes of their reserved hour, and Tae turned away to pick out a new song, that Sayo remembered two things at once: it was very likely Tae was still upset with her, and Sayo had some confusing feelings towards Tae. She watched Tae smile as the next song began, leaning back with her eyes shut to enjoy it, and thought how did I never realize Poppin’ Party had such a beautiful member before now?
Embarrassed and unsure of how to deal with the unsaid things between them, Sayo sat back against the wall beside Tae, enjoying the last selection she had picked out in the small listening room. Inadvertently, their arms touched, and Sayo felt goosebumps on her arms from the encounter. Her first instinct was to pull away, but she fought it, another part of her wishing to stay in contact with Tae for longer. She wondered if Tae felt the same, or if she was just so engrossed in her song that she didn’t even notice.
When the time was up they left the store, thanking the attendant and owner, and emerged at street level. The sun was still high in the sky, and Sayo’s phone said it was only 2:30 PM. They were expected to return between 5:30 and 6:30PM. She wasn’t sure how they were going to spend another three hours.
“I picked first, what do you want to do?” asked Tae.
Again, she wasn’t overly friendly, but she wasn’t hostile. Then again, Sayo wondered if Tae could be hostile. Sayo considered arguing over Tae picking the first activity. Though Tae did ‘pick’ it, the last hour was absolutely work Tae put in for Sayo’s benefit, so perhaps Tae should get to do something she enjoyed now. But the thought that perhaps the something Tae would like to do was busking caused Sayo to keep her mouth shut, and she suggested an alternative. “I… I told Hina I would get her a souvenir,” said Sayo, her mouth strangely dry.
For a moment, Tae looked disappointed, as if she had followed Sayo’s train of thought and had hoped that perhaps Sayo would ask her what she wanted to do now, but she masked it quickly, or perhaps it was never there at all. “Of course we should get something for Hina-chan. We should get something for our bandmates too. There’s a shopping arcade this way,” she suggested.
Tae led her down a few more blocks and around a corner, and soon enough they were in a shopping arcade, much like the one Saaya’s family’s bakery was in. Sayo smelled the delicious scent of a nearby stall selling… no! Across the way, there was a man selling french fries from his small stall, and Sayo’s stomach grumbled loudly.
“If you want some, you should get them,” Tae said, gesturing to the fries.
“No, I really don’t want any,” said Sayo, unsure of why she was lying. She wanted them badly. But they were junk!
“Well I’m going to get a taiyaki, I’ll meet you near that bench,” Tae said, walking off without another word.
Sayo supposed she was to just go wait for Tae on the bench, but the way to the bench was past the man with the fries. ’I’ll just get a small size,’ she finally justified to herself.
Fries in hand, she made her way back to the bench to see Tae eating a taiyaki that was almost exploding with red bean paste. “What does Hina like?” she asked with her mouth full.
Sayo swallowed her fries before she answered. “She likes most anything, especially if it’s shiny, unique, personalized, useful, tasty… she’s easy to shop for.”
“I was thinking of getting everyone in Popipa specialty mochi to share. Or maybe matching shot glasses.”
“You can’t drink!” Sayo said, this time with her mouth full.
“But we could put juice or tea in them and clink them together like they do in the movies, and then toss the drinks down the back of our throats.”
“You can do that with sake cups,” Sayo said, rolling her eyes.
“Who’s ever seen anyone do that with a sake cup?” asked Tae.
Sayo did not deign to argue further. Obviously the made up scenario was most important here, and Sayo’s pragmatism had no place in this discussion. “Well, my vote is with the mochi,” she said.
“What are you getting Roselia?”
“I hadn’t thought about it,” Sayo said. Which was true, but mostly because she hadn’t planned on getting her bandmates gifts until she realized Tae was doing so for Poppin’ Party. Was that standard? Was Sayo being rude or was Tae going above and beyond?
“Well we better look around then,” Tae suggested.
They threw out their trash and entered a large multilevel store, and Tae started throwing a few things in a basket, including takoyaki-flavored snacks, a few types of mochi, and an okonomiyaki-flavored instant noodle pack. “You’re really going for it, huh?” asked Sayo.
“Well, I have my bandmates and my parents, and I might want to share with my coworkers at the music shop, or with someone else, so I want to have enough. My mom had a few specific requests.”
Sayo realized that since Tae’s mom used to come to this neighborhood often, she probably had favorite snacks. Sayo selected a specialty banana shortcake for Hina that was advertised to keep for several weeks, and a set of specialty dorayaki for Roselia. Perhaps she should have looked around more, but the convenience of shopping all in one place could not be beat.
They cashed out and their packages were wrapped up, and by Sayo’s watch, they had managed to kill another hour and a half, as it was now 4PM. The sun still shone brightly in the sky, but at a lower angle than before. Sayo wanted to avoid this outcome - of asking Tae what she wanted to do, because she knew she would want to go busking, garnering public attention on them, and perhaps even asking Sayo to play in public. Further, any reminder of what Tae wanted to do just reminded Sayo of her remarks earlier and deepened her guilt, and she felt herself spiraling deeper into a feeling of shame, but she wasn’t able to express an apology, because she didn’t exactly know how to sum up what she was apologizing for.
“I think we should walk along the river,” was all Tae said, gently. She didn’t wait for Sayo’s response, she simply turned away, heading off towards where apparently a riverside path lay.
In a few minutes they arrived, and Sayo fell into stride with Tae, walking along a path that bordered a river. It was moderately busy, with mothers walking with their children, students walking home from school, and various people going here and there.
Tae walked on in silence and didn’t seem to be bothered by the fact that they had neither a goal or a destination. Sayo, on the other hand, was suffering. Whether it was her guilt at her outburst earlier, the fact that this walk didn’t seem to be what Tae truly seemed to want to be doing, or simply the fact that walking in silence was irritating, she finally made up her mind to address her earlier statements and apologize. Sayo knew she was out of line.
Before she could, however, Tae turned around and spoke, laughing again lightly in that way which reminded Sayo of Lisa - dismissive and self-deprecating. “I probably am like you say, you know, someone who doesn’t think things through,” she said, continuing to walk backwards. “But I do notice a lot. Sometimes things catch my interest. I have been watching you since you formed Roselia. I was so jealous of the way you played. I used to play and replay Roselia concert tapes and study your style. I… I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”
Tae turned back around and now Sayo trailed by a step or two. The thought that Tae had been watching her- no, studying her- since years ago was making other thoughts difficult to form at the moment, but a few whizzed through. Tae, jealous of Sayo’s playing? Tae, watching her for… years, even. Why hadn’t Sayo been looking back until this week, she wondered?
“Tae-san,” said Sayo, waiting for Tae to turn around again. She stopped walking and moved to the side of the path. “I want to apologize. I was out of line earlier, and I was incorrect. I- I get nervous sometimes and say things I don’t mean, it’s a bad habit. I’m sorry.” Sayo could feel her face growing red - she never usually spoke so honestly. She bowed, trying to show Tae she was serious about her apology.
Tae’s face returned to a more gentle position, and Sayo could feel some of the air between them clear. “Do I make you nervous?” asked Tae, the corner of her lip coming up a bit.
Sayo thought about the question for longer than she probably needed to. Of course Tae didn’t make her nervous, however it would be a lie to say that her heart didn't beat faster when looking at or thinking of Hanazono Tae. For goodness sake, she was running errands getting that girl’s smuggled rabbit his special breakfast, what was going on with her? “No I just… I was disoriented when we suddenly were sent into the city this afternoon,” she choked out at last. “And I was nervous about the idea of busking here in the city,” she added. Since she was trying a proper apology, she might as well be honest about it.
Tae smiled wider, not in an ‘I knew it’ way, but more like she was glad that Sayo was honestly stating her feelings. “Want to just watch?” she asked.
Sayo wondered if it was difficult for Tae to keep herself from playing guitar after so many hours. Sure, she had played a bit in the listening booth with Sayo, but Sayo had done the majority of the practice there, and it was all very basic picking. To be honest, she wouldn’t mind relaxing for a bit, sitting by the riverbank and listening to Tae play guitar, killing some time off of her feet before they had to return to the school. “Sure,” she said.
Tae nodded, as if their plan was decided. She turned away for a moment, then turned back, as if she forgot something. “I accept your apology of course,” she said quietly. “I know I’m… nothing like the chair of the discipline committee,” she said, smiling lightly. “But still, I’m glad we can get along.”
She walked a little ways further, until they reached a small open area. Tae unclipped the mini amp and took out a cord to plug in her guitar. She then took her guitar out of the soft case, and laid the case on the grass. “You can sit on it, Sayo-san,” she offered. Sayo was concerned about sitting on Tae’s equipment, but also didn’t want to sit on the bare grass, so she took the offer, sitting on the unexpectedly comfortable padded case.
Tae spent some time tuning the guitar, which to Sayo’s surprise, she did without a tuner of any sort. After a couple minutes of warmups, she turned up the amp and began a song. Another surprise - Tae began to sing after the introduction to the song. Naturally, it was where the vocals came in, but Sayo hadn’t expected vocals as she only knew Tae as a guitarist. Her voice was pretty - clear and a little more mellow than Kasumi’s.
Soon enough, a few people stopped to watch. Sayo tried to focus on the way Tae’s hands moved up and down the frets or picked quickly along the strings, but her eyes kept getting drawn back to Tae’s face. Her emotion showed plainly on her face, and the passion with which she sang could be seen in her eyes, in the way she opened her mouth to enunciate each syllable, in the way she took a gasping breath.
She finished the first song, and there was a smattering of applause from the five or so people who stopped to watch. None of them walked away - everyone, Sayo included, was waiting for more. “Thank you,” she said, with a small bow. “I want to play a song I wrote now. It-” she bit her lip, pausing. “I wrote this song as an apology, at a time in my life when I was confused, and I had finally figured out the right way. I hope you enjoy it.”
She began to play again, and Sayo recognized the intro - it was a song that Poppin’ Party had played at a combined live with Roselia. At the time, Sayo had not paid much attention to the lyrics - lyrics that had been sung by Kasumi. Now, knowing that they had been written by Tae, and carried such emotional weight, she listened closely, watching the precise way her pick moved across the strings, as if this song was one she didn’t even have to think about anymore.
Searching through the wave of people
I jumped out barefoot
I don't want to lie to myself
So please, let me see the continuation of this dream
Tae's voice wasn't as bright as before. Now it carried much heavier emotion, and yet the words reached Sayo's ears even more clearly. The lyrics- how could Sayo not see it before? The lyrics were inexplicably Tae. But of course she wouldn't have realized it the first time she saw this song performed, when Kasumi sang it with a smile on her face.
Back then, Sayo didn't know Tae. She didn't understand the girl who would jump out barefoot from the wave of people, or why that was even significant. Back then, Sayo didn't understand why thinking about these things and listening to the song would make her chest ache and give her shivers despite the afternoon sun.
While battered by the cold rain,
There's only one dream keeping us warm
No matter what happens ahead of us,
We'll continue to feel the "now" of this dream.
Tae continued towards the end of the song, her voice holding steady despite singing about what were obviously difficult memories for her. Finally, finally, Sayo truly understood the meaning of Poppin' Party. The Star Beat wasn't just Kasumi being silly saying "kirakira dokidoki", it was the bonds between the members, which could only be found after going away for a time.
Tae finished the song, looking at Sayo as she finished. She had a slightly surprised expression, and she blushed slightly. "Thank you," she said to the clapping audience. "I'm going to take a break for a while, but I appreciate you watching this much!"
A few people made disappointed noises at Tae announcing the end of her performance for the time being, but accepted the outcome and walked off. Tae kept her guitar strapped around her, but disconnected from the amp, coming to sit beside Sayo, squeezing into the portion of the case made for the neck of the guitar. Her positioning made the actual neck of her guitar extend over Sayo's lap- they were close.
"Sayo-san, you're… crying," she said.
Sayo realized then that Tae stopped the performance on account of her. "I apologize," she said. "I just suddenly… had a lot of thoughts," she explained, knowing this was a terrible explanation.
To her surprise, Tae responded with a rather light-hearted, but sympathetic laugh. "It really is an unpleasant song I wrote," she said.
"Not at all!" Sayo said, hiccuping a bit. "I loved it!" Now it was her turn to blush, as it was very rare for her to express her love for anything so blatantly. "I liked the first song too," she quickly added.
"Oh? Is Sayo a Popipa fan?" Tae asked, picking out a melody on her guitar, this time of a lighter song, perhaps Rimi’s chocolate cornet song.
"I just like your playing style," said Sayo, which was the truth, but she wasn't sure if that was more or less incriminating.
"It's better with…" Tae perked up and then trailed off as if she had an idea, but decided against it.
"Tae-san?" asked Sayo, curious now.
"I was going to say my style is better with two guitars…" She took a deep breath.
Sayo's heart raced for many reasons, both good and bad. She tried to imagine herself, onstage, Saturday night, beside Tae, and nearly laughed as that mental image involved her holding a bright red star-shaped guitar. Certainly, she would be Sayo, and not Kasumi, but she wondered if it was really right to fully entwine their lives like that, lessons, homework, meals, practicing for this performance, and sleeping in the same room. She also wondered if, in reality, their contrasting styles, both in learning music and performing it, would make for a satisfying performance. But still… the idea enticed her. "Wow, that's an idea…" she said.
"Sayo-san, you're so pretty when you push your hair back like that," Tae said.
Sayo was unprepared for this assault.
Apparently it was not a strategy at all, though, as Tae continued picking at her guitar without waiting to see Sayo's response. It was the same as if she had been telling Sayo she looked good in blue or something of the sort.
"We should start heading back," Sayo said, clearing her throat. Truthfully, if they walked back now, they would be back at the earliest time in the window to get back, but Tae packed up without protest, and led the way back.
Walking a step behind, Sayo texted Ako and Rinko. "I think you two are right."
Ako replied first. "Don't panic!"
Rinko was not far behind, however. "🙀🙀🙀"
Sayo chose to ignore these unhelpful responses. "There’s potential for us to play a duet together on the last day."
Ako again was faster. "Yes!!!! Full speed ahead!"
Followed by Rinko: "You must!"
She put away her phone to chat with Tae the rest of the way home, but noted the two votes of support for a song with Tae.
Once back on campus, they ate a small dinner (still full from snacks before) and brought Oddie his lettuce. After, as promised, Tae went with Sayo to an empty practice room and they worked on Sayo's 'weaknesses' (which Tae insisted Sayo was greatly exaggerating) for two hours until it was time to take baths and sleep. Sayo checked her phone when it was time to set her alarm and noticed several missed messages from all members of Roselia asking about her affairs at camp, but she sent a message to the group chat that everything was going fine, and went to sleep.