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It feels unreal that the war is over, and even more unreal that they actually won. Snow is being held at his mansion, his assassination set for the next day, and Katniss was there too, recovering from her injuries. She had lived. He had lived. And it was over.
He tries to sleep on the bed in the Training Center where he and the other soldiers are being put up temporarily. Everything is odd right now, with the change in leadership, with the end of the war, so why not have him stay at the Training Center? He'd always felt a separation from the others - from Katniss and Peeta, from Enobaria and Finnick and Johanna and Haymitch - and now he feels it closing bit by bit as he experiences their world. This was where they slept as they went through the Games? These were the streets they drove through to go to those fancy Capitol parties? Parts of their lives that were hidden to him feel elucidated, though he knows it's all different now, now that this Capitol is no longer Snow's.
And it's impossible to sleep. For one thing, there are too many people, and emotions are running too high. Half of the soldiers are celebrating victory, trying to come to terms with a newly reunited Panem, the end to the fighting, the end to living underground. They're drinking (which was not allowed in District 13), cheering and setting off fireworks on the street below, and there's general chaos. And there's others who are somber, crying or just numb, unable to come to terms with how the war ended.
He understands them, really. Every time he shuts his eyes he sees Finnick, and Primrose Everdeen. He sees Boggs and Jackson and the rest of their squadron that didn't make it to the end. He sees the little children in the Capitol, lining up in front of the mansion, just like he knew they would, and he sees them dead, limbs missing, blood everywhere.
He doesn't want to drink. He doesn't want to celebrate, but he can't sleep either. He's caught in an in-between place and he doesn't know how to get out. He doesn't regret his plan. He ended the war. He ended the fucking war and now no one else has to die or be tortured and there's no more Games or bombings but it did mean the last few people had to die, and someone had to be brave enough to make the call.
He goes back and forth on this useless circular logic for most of the night, but he must sleep at some point, because he wakes to Peeta shaking him. "Come on, they're arriving," he says. Gale is hungry, and exhausted, and he doesn't particularly enjoy Peeta's company still, but he used all of his energy up giving commands, worrying about keeping people alive, and now he is content with being told what to do. He takes a few minutes in the bathroom, and when he returns, Enobaria is there too, beside Peeta.
She looks at him distrustfully, but what else is new? She hadn't gone into the crowd, in the end. She had stayed back, almost as if she suspected the double tap. He wonders if the same sort of strategy was taught in District 2. "Who is arriving?" he asks, as they walk out into the bright sunlight of the Capitol. The streets are littered with beer bottles and other debris, a combination of the fighting and the celebrations.
"Haymitch and Jo and Annie and the others," Peeta says. "They want everyone here for the execution."
"Coin's coming in?"
"She's here," Peeta says. "She and Plutarch came by hovercraft yesterday. The others took a hovercraft part of the way, but are coming the rest of the way on train. They don't want anything in the airspace in the daylight, since people are on high alert."
Gale is thrown off by this, by Peeta knowing more than he does. He wants to ask how he knows all this, who he is going through, but it doesn't matter, really. If Coin is here, he will understand everything soon enough.
They get to the train station, and it's only a few minutes before they hear a train pulling in. It was coming out of District 1, so Gale imagines the hovercraft with the others landed there first. He watches them disembark: more people than he thinks. Extra soldiers to help with the transition of power, and all the living Victors for the end of the Games. Beetee is there, a sort of shock on his face as he surveys the Capitol. Annie comes next, almost fully supported by Haymitch, her grief palpable even from the distance he stands, and he can see the pregnant swell of her belly beneath the dress she wears: the child Finnick will never meet.
Johanna comes after, leaning heavily on the rail as she comes down the steps onto the platform. Enobaria goes to her, and Johanna embraces her, Enobaria lifting her off her feet. Gale can't hear what they're saying as they walk together, Enobaria's arm around Johanna, but it strikes him with a particular kind of loneliness. There was no one happy to see him. No one would embrace him, glad he didn't die in the battle. He knows this is irrational - that his mother and siblings are still alive, but the lack of friends, of actual people he has bonded with in the ranks, and the knowledge that Katniss now hates him sits heavy in his chest.
The assassination feels strange, like Gale is taking place in a play. He wonders if this is what it feels like to be in the Games, to be in any of the Capitol shenanigans, really. He wants to ask someone: Peeta, maybe, or Johanna, but they're all lined up on the stage, all the Victors standing to bear witness to the death of the man who made their lives hell for years, and Gale is standing in uniform with the other rebel troops.
He smells. He knows he does, because everyone else who has been there for days now smells, and even if he showers, he still has to get dressed in the same filthy uniform. He is sweating today, too, despite the fact that the weather is mild, because he is watching Katniss shoot daggers at him as the proceedings start. She's a zombie, really, all stooped posture and sagging steps, but as soon as she sees him she snaps into a glare that is so intense in its hate he wouldn't have thought her capable, except that he is seeing it happen.
He wonders if they know, the Capitolites and the rebels both. He had thought, when he made the plan for the final bombing, that it was clever, well-disguised, almost untraceable. But Katniss had seen through it immediately, and he thinks Enobaria had as well. Had the people watching on their televisions all over Panem realized that the bombs were rebel, and not Capitol? Had the rebels not involved in the actual operation realized? And if they had, would they know that it was Gale who had helped craft the entire plan? Surely not. Surely not, he tells himself, but he continues to sweat.
He watches the Capitolites continue to assemble to watch the execution. Some even bring their children. What children there were that survived the final battle. He watches them, but all he can see is corpses. He looks back to the stage, where they're bringing out Snow, finally. He sees Enobaria, standing tall but shrinking away, just barely, from the soldiers behind them. He sees Johanna beside her, her hair still short, still too skinny. He can't help but picture them in that prison: tortured and raped, and reassures himself that he did a good thing. I ended the rule of men who would do things like that, he tells himself. But you had to kill children to do it, another voice says.
Katniss doesn't kill Snow, in the end. She kills Coin, with her arrow, and Gale doesn't know what to think. He knows he had betrayed Katniss with how the war ended, but now he feels betrayed by Katniss: he liked Coin, he trusted her. Was this Katniss's measured decision, or was this a personal vendetta against him? He has seen her grief, he has seen her hateful glare, he knows she is not measured right now.
But it is chaos, now, with Snow out of power, and Coin dead. Panem has no leader. He never received another command, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. He looks to the stage, to where Haymitch is pulling Katniss away, and the other Victors look shellshocked with the turn of events. He makes his way there.
He ends up with Annie Cresta, because she is almost frozen on the stage, and at first he thinks it's fear, but he sees something else there, more akin to shock and awe. She's taking in this new Panem from her prime vantage point, looking out at the chaos, at the people among the Capitol leaderless, and for the first time, he sees her as a Victor, someone who wasn't scared, who stands tall in the middle of something terrifying. It's scary, really, the difference between his perception of Annie and the reality, and he could see how the others in her Games could have counted her out, just for her to survive to the end. He wonders if she needs his help, really.
"Let's get to safety," he says, because he has been trained in threat assessment, and he can see this situation devolving quickly.
She looks at him, a hand coming over her stomach to guard her pregnant belly, and then nods. "Where?" There's an odd clip in her voice, a strangeness he now remembers accompanies Annie. She had been in a mental institution, he remembers, and he watches her fingers tap, not in impatience, more like a routine she has to complete.
"We have a temporary base at the Training Center."
They walk quickly through the streets, around the fragments of glass and metal, past bloodstains and evidence of explosions. The distance is not far, but they have to go slow, both because of all the obstacles, and because Annie has slowed. "Is this where…"
Gale shakes his head. "No. It was on the other side of town."
Annie nods, biting her lip. She doesn't say anything more. He looks at her, surprised by how tall she is, just a few inches shorter than him. She was fine-boned, delicate looking, and it belied the fact that she was tall, like a model. But people from Career districts generally were tall, he had heard.
When they get to the Training Center, Gale thinks to go to the gym in the basement, the area where the soldiers have set up dozens of beds. There are smaller sparring rooms, more private, and Annie can rest in one of those, but she hits the button on the elevator. He follows her lead; she is the Victor, she has lived here before, after all. They go to the fourth floor, and stand before an apartment. It's locked. "Do you have the key?" he asks, realizing as he says it that it's a stupid question. Even if she did at one point, how could she anymore? She had been in that prison with the others, all her possessions stripped. She arrived to District 13 with nothing but a bedsheet wrapped around her.
She shakes her head, and he steps forward. He realizes where they are, and why she wants to enter. He hip checks the door, and it gives a little. It isn't as strong as he expects, and when he tries again, it gives fully and they can enter. He lets Annie go in first, and she steps inside cautiously.
He follows behind, and he's never seen anything like this: not in District 12, or District 13, or in the limited glances of the Capitol so far. This apartment is spacious, with everything he could want. A massive, modern kitchen, a living room with plush furniture, and wide windows which looked out over the city. There were multiple bedrooms and he could see a large bed inside of one of them, and the apartment remained stocked with food, liquor, and fresh linens.
He goes to the window, just to look at the view. He can see the crowd at the stage, where the assassination just took place, and wonders if he should have stayed. Coin had given him everything. She was the one who saw his potential, who picked him to help lead the extraction mission from the prison, to go to District 2, so plan the operation that ended the war. And now she was dead, and he had run away. Shame burns him, but what could he do? A power vacuum was dangerous, everyone knows this. It was best if he ran away just until the air cleared a bit.
He turns back to check on Annie, and she's on her knees in the living room, hugging something to her chest. He walks closer, trying to see what it is. A sweater of some sort, or two?
"What is that?" he asks.
"Finnick's," she says. "And Mags'." She inhales into the pile of fabric, and pushes herself up until she's sitting on the couch. "I have some of Finnick's things back in District 13, but they're just his things he got there. These are from home, and… I had nothing of Mags'."
"We should pack them up, the things you want to take," he suggests.
She nods. She finds a rucksack and begins filling it with things, and he makes them both a meal while she works. When she finishes, she joins him in the kitchen, pouring them each a drink from some fancy spigot system attached to the refrigerator. "I like this flavor," she says. "It's good when you can't drink, or don't want to anymore."
He sips it and the drink is fizzy, and a little fruity. She's right. It is good, and he finishes his glass and she shows him how to pour another. The Capitol was like that, full of tricks and luxuries he couldn't even imagine. "Are you going to stay here?" he asks, as they eat. He imagines it would be a good place to have a baby, surrounded by all this money and excess.
She almost laughs, but it comes out like she's choking. She stomps her foot on the ground a couple times and squeezes her eyes shut, the odd mannerisms that accompany Annie, so contrary to her gentle beauty. "No, I'm going back to District 4 as soon as I can," she says.
"Are things alright there?" he asks.
She shrugs. "Doesn't matter. I want my baby to be born in the place that Finnick loved, around all the people that Finnick loved." She takes another sip of the drink. "I want his feet to touch the ocean that Finnick loved."
Gale nods. He's jealous, really, that Annie understands what she wants so well, and then he feels rotten that he's jealous of a widow. "I don't know where I'm going," he says. It's getting dark outside, and he realizes they'll probably spend the night here, rather than risk the Capitol streets after dark.
"Not going to go home to 12?" she asks.
He shakes his head. He hadn't realized he felt so strongly against it until he was asked. But he knows he can't go back. Not with the way he and Katniss are now, with Prim dead, and Coin dead. And to go back to what? Nothing, really. A bombed-out District? Haymitch and Peeta, who will choose Katniss every time? His family would understand, or at least he hopes, but the kids are still kids. Would his mother side with Katniss, if she knew he planned the bombing that killed children the same age as Rory and Vick and Posy? "No, I can't go back."
Annie hums for a moment, contemplating. She takes his empty plate and puts it in some fancy device that he assumes washes it for them. "Well, you're a soldier," she says. "Wouldn't you go to 2?"
He wants to say no, that he's not that kind of soldier, that if anything he should go back to 13, but he has no idea what will become of 13. They should be coming above ground now, but the small amount of rebel troops are nothing compared to the massive amount of Peacekeepers. Some had turned, in the war, and now there were just soldiers. Logistically, it made sense to move the military to 2, or have two bases, one in the east and one in the west. He wants to say no, but part of him is curious. "I might," he says, because the idea has taken hold, to go west, to go far away from District 12 and Katniss and everything else, and just start afresh.
Three days later, after a scrapped-together election, Commander Paylor of District 8 is elected President of Panem. There is still a lot of work to do, both to clean up the Capitol and to design the rest of the government, but the leader has been decided, and the Capitol has settled again. Annie gets on a train towards District 4, the two bags of Finnick and Mags' things cradled in her arms. Gale wonders if he'll ever see her again.
At the platform, he buys a ticket to District 2. He's changed from his uniform now, and he has it packed away in a rucksack. He has officially been discharged by the District 13 command, free to go where he pleases. He has no obligations, and it's terrifying, in a way, but also freeing. He wrote a letter to his mother, and asked one of the women going back to District 13 to deliver it to her. He wonders if she'll be angry with him, for the end of the war, or for leaving. But more than he is terrified, he feels something pulling him west, like this is his chance, and if he doesn't go, he'll be stuck in District 12 forever, living the same life he always had before the war.
Because even if Snow is gone, and the war is over, and things are supposed to change, he can't imagine what that looks like in District 12. All he can see is not enough to eat, and day spent mining, and now, Katniss looking at him with hate.
Johanna and Enobaria arrive a few minutes before the train to District 2. He's surprised to see them, but maybe he shouldn't be. "You're going to 2?" Enobaria asks him, and he hears just a hint of an accent in her voice, one he recognizes now as District 2 since he spent a couple weeks there during the war.
He nods. "I want to try something new."
She makes a face not dissimilar to disgust, and Johanna steps in front of her, turning to face her and whispering in her ear. Enobaria softens, and for the first time, he wonders if they're more than friends, because he's never seen Enobaria change in an instant for anyone.
They're let onto the train, but there's no other passengers, no one traveling down to District 2. Since most of the train is for supplies, the conductor seats them all together, which does nothing to improve Enobaria's mood. It's about a ten hour trip, according to his ticket, and he sits across from the two of them, their bags on a rack overhead.
There's not much to talk about, so mostly they stare out the window at the changing scenery: the bustle of the Capitol turning to wilderness, and then the greenery fading into desert. "What's your house like?" Johanna asks Enobaria, at one point.
"You mean, if it still exists?" she says.
Johanna nods. She's got one elbow on the armrest, the knuckles of her hand pressed into her temples, as if trying to push back a headache.
"Our Victor's Village was nice," she says, staring out the window. "Red earth houses, a small garden between them. Mine had this round cactus out front."
The conductor comes by and offers them a meal, sandwiches and a drink, and Gale accepts gratefully. In his haste to leave the Capitol, he had forgotten to buy food, even though he finally had cash, having been paid out for his service. He eats quickly and he's still hungry, and Johanna pushes her sandwich into his lap. "You can have mine," she says, leaning forward so her face is in her hands.
Gale takes a bite, despite receiving a glare from Enobaria, as if he had stolen the food from Johanna, but he just shrugs at her: it was freely given. "You have to eat something," Enobaria coaxes, but Johanna shakes her head.
"I'd throw up," she mumbles, into her hands.
Enobaria tugs Johanna's shoulder until she leans over, her head resting on Enobaria's lap. She tucks her legs up on the seat of the train in a way that Gale couldn't imagine himself fitting into, and Enobaria runs her fingers through Johanna's hair with one hand while she finishes her sandwich with the other. "Go to sleep," she says.
When they arrive, it's past dark, and the air is cool. It's humming with the noise of insects, and the stars are bright in the sky. They're shown to an inn for the night, and they pay the fee. "Tomorrow you can go into town, there's a desk for housing application, and a desk for jobs," the girl at the inn check-in says. "Welcome to District 2."