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"Don't you wish we could do this outside the Capitol, for once?" She's resting her head on his chest, both of them a little sweaty after sex. It's calm, for a moment, a brief respite from the anxiety of the Capitol that seemed vice-like, constantly crushing her chest. They're in the 12 apartment, and the windows look out from the penthouse of the Training Center, though she can only see Haymitch, and the bed.
"I wonder," he muses. He sounds like he's drifting off, but she knows she can't fall asleep like this. She knows she's expected to meet a client later, which means she needs to shower and make it to Remake in an hour or so.
"You wonder? Do you really dislike this so much?" she says, pouting a bit now. She wonders if she should just get dressed now, if he's going to be like this.
He puts his arm around her, as if he can sense her distance, and holds her against him. "I just mean that if we weren't stuck here, you'd find someone better. You're only with me because there's so few options in the Capitol."
She bites gently on his collarbone, suddenly possessive. He lifts her chin with his free hand to kiss her, and she can feel him getting hard again against her thigh, apparently turned on by her greed. "I don't know if that's true," she says. She wants to finish this conversation, at least. "I mean, there's not many people who understand what it's like, being a Victor."
He kisses her neck, and then pulls away, looking her in the eyes. "There's Finnick."
And there it is, something unsaid finally voiced. She had slept with Finnick before she slept with Haymitch, and there was some overlap, because, well, neither of them called it dating, it wasn't allowed to be called dating, and there were so, so few ways to seek comfort in the Capitol. And also because maybe the Capitol had ruined her, had raised her since she arrived to understand that men only want one thing from her, and she ought to give it to keep them happy.
"Finnick ends up with Annie in every universe," she says resolutely.
"So what am I, your second option?" he asks, but there's no bite, because he knows what she's done to help Annie win, what she's done to keep Annie away from the Capitol. And because after so much time, perhaps both of them are happy to be chosen at all.
On the ride back to the Capitol, Peeta closes the door to the compartment and leans close. "They're not in 11, at least not anymore," he says firmly.
"What?"
"During the groundbreaking, a woman came up to me. She knew me from the Games as Katniss's lover."
On any other day, Johanna would have teased Peeta over such a title, but today she lets it go. "And?"
"She said that she hopes we'll be reunited. She and the other rebel groups have been able to contact Katniss intermittently, through radio, but their group has been up in The Wilds."
"And you can trust her? She wasn't trying to like… lead you off the scent?"
Peeta shrugs. "I guess she could have been, but it seemed genuine. It's summer, so it's a good time to go up there."
"It's still cold there in the summer. And the mosquitoes are awful. But yes, you won't freeze to death." Johanna is likely more familiar with The Wilds than Peeta, since they were located north of Districts 7, 9, and 6. She leans back in her seat, sighing. "What are they planning?"
Peeta shakes his head, obviously just as befuddled. "A bomb? A demonstration? I'm also wondering who else is there. It can't just be the two of them anymore."
They ask Enobaria when they get back to the Capitol, meeting her in the privacy of her apartment. She makes both of them dinner, convinced that they are incapable of feeding themselves and more or less correct. She sips her wine as she thinks. "They're about to open submissions for candidates for the councilmembers, and for president, next week. It's four months until the election, so there will be enough time to review all the candidates, broadcast interviews and debates, and let the top candidates travel to all the districts. If the rebels are going to enter the election, they could be gathering strength."
Johanna has decided not to run in the election, and she learns that Enobaria is the same. Peeta, it turns out, has decided to run, though she feels like she understands him less after their trip to District 11, and isn't sure if this is his end goal, or just a step until he can reunite with Katniss. Either way, they scan the names of all the candidates for the upcoming elections looking for known rebels, looking for anyone who stands out, and they all recognize his name at the same time: candidate for defense councilor, Gale Hawthorne.
"I saw him, once," Johanna admits, later that evening in Enobaria's apartment.
"What? When?" she asks, at the same time Peeta asks, "Had he seen Katniss?"
They're sitting at Enobaria's table, Johanna and Enobaria with wine, eating snacks, and Peeta on the floor, doing pushups. Johanna and Enobaria had been reviewing the records of the election candidates, trying to double check for any other known rebels, but this is all abandoned with this revelation. "When we took that trip to 2, months ago," Johanna says. "I met him in a tavern, we ended up going back to drink at his apartment."
Enobaria meets her gaze with enough meaning in it that Johanna knows Enobaria is asking if they slept together, and Johanna knows she looks away too quickly that she has all but confirmed such an event to Enobaria. Fortunately, it seems Peeta has missed this exchange. "I didn't ask about Katniss and Haymitch," she says, and it's the truth.
Peeta looks disappointed, but not surprised, as if her incompetence does not surprise him anymore. He has taken a break from the workout, coming to sit at the table. "Did you get the impression he's still an extremist?" he asks. And this question throws her off, because what does Peeta consider himself? Does he think of them as former extremists? Or was Gale always more extreme? She constantly feels like she doesn't know where other people stand.
"He was working in the local government in 2, he sounded torn up by his part in the end of the war," she says.
Peeta opens his mouth, but Enobaria cuts him off. "Well, we'll have to watch his campaign, I suppose," is all she says. Perhaps Peeta respects her more than he does Johanna, or at least the hospitality she's offered them, since he keeps his comment to himself.
After he leaves, Johanna helps Enobaria clean up. She's still clumsy, so mostly she just wipes off the table and counters, and throws away the trash, leaving all the breakable items to Enobaria.
"Why didn't you tell me you saw Gale?" Enobaria asks quietly.
"It was right before I talked to you about your father, I was distracted with that," she admits. "And then after, it just felt like a one-night stand, I don't know…"
"So you did sleep with him," Enobaria smiles smugly, poking Johanna's shoulder.
"The whole thing was weird…"
"Yeah, of course it was."
Johanna half-expects Enobaria to propose she go to Gale again, to seduce him to get more information about his alignment, to use sex as a means of information like she did under Snow, but Enobaria says no such thing, and Johanna realizes she never will - they have left such a world behind, and only the vestiges remain, corrupting Johanna's mind. Still, because such an option remains, she wonders if she ought to stay away from Gale. It's one thing to use such a method when she's forced, when she's under the ruling party, when there is so little she can do to resist. It's entirely different when she is the ruling party.
The budget councilor, a man from the Capitol named Regis Deuteros, does decide to run again, as does the education councilor, a woman from 13 named Pike. The defense councilor is stepping down, they learn, though there are several other candidates opposing Gale. Beetee, on the communications committee, reports he is also not running for election. Johanna isn't surprised, the man is older, and seems more interested in tinkering with electronics than with the politics of the new government. She often sees him tinkering with a radio or other broken device at meetings, rather than paying attention, an activity that Coin permits probably because he single-handedly got communications with all of the districts working in record time.
Coin approaches Johanna the next week, once all the candidates are submitted, requesting a meeting. It's the first time they've spoken one on one, and Johanna isn't exactly intimidated by the woman, but she is speaking with the president, so she is still rather uneasy.
"I thought we could watch the game while we talk," she says, walking them to a part of the council chamber lawn that faced a school field. "I would usually offer to eat a meal together, but Enobaria informed me you're not much for food from strangers anymore, not that I can blame you."
"It's true," she concedes. "Do you know these kids?" she asks, glancing at the game as they sit. It just seems to be a normal game, a couple nets and a ball, set up by the local school.
"No. One of the undersecretaries is in charge of youth and sport - I'm sure you've heard him report on the monthly meeting - and he often tests new programs at this school. This was an after school sports program, and it seems to be going well."
Johanna nods. It's easier to be able to speak with Coin without having to look directly at her. Already she's more at ease than she ever was with Snow. There's no threat of going into an arena, of killing or being killed. There's no threat of sex for hire, of people being killed if she refuses her body to a man. And there's no scent of roses, no bloody grin betraying poison beneath. "What did you want to speak to me about?" she asks. Still, she cannot settle until she knows what Coin wants. A few people watching the game have noticed the president's attendance and are giving them looks.
"I wanted to see why you didn't want to run for election this year. Is it my leadership? Do you not like the job?"
"I don't mind the work, it's just… I didn't even finish school. I don't have any skills. I am doing my best, but there's no possible way I'm the best person for this job."
Coin nods, acknowledging this. "Experience is an excellent teacher, and I am certain you've gained some this year. Plus, it is critical that we have people in the government who understand how we can absolutely not slip back into old ways even a little bit."
"Of course," she is forced to agree with these statements.
"If I may, would you consider taking a job as an advisor to one of the councilors? It's less travel, but you do the research and draft some of the project proposals and other groundwork for them. It's an appointed position, not elected, so I can appoint you before I leave office, if I am voted out."
She understands the appeal of a steady job, of a roof over her head, of having friends she can see in the evenings, and work that has meaning. In truth, the offer sounds too good to be true. "Yes, I would accept," she says.
"Excellent. I have heard nothing but good things about your team," she says, and there's almost a hint of a smile on her normally grim face. Now, she unfolds a piece of paper, reviewing it for a moment before folding it again. "I'm sorry about the invasive nature of this question, but I understand you know Gale Hawthorne, at least as acquaintances. Early polls suggest he will do well in the election as defense councilor, but I'm seeking your personal opinion: can he be trusted with our nation's military?"
Now, Johanna's heart is pounding in her chest. It is one thing to disappoint Peeta, to not have the answer he wants. It's another to disappoint the president, who has given her everything she could want, who has delivered her from evil. "I honestly don't know," she says. "I think his intentions are good," she starts, but the sentence trails off, and she bites her lips. She wishes Enobaria would take the job. She could give Enobaria a glowing endorsement.
"It's alright," Coin says, releasing some of the pressure, "If you don't know, don't force yourself. Please, come to me if you discover anything, good or bad. It's for the security of our nation, after all."
The next months are a blur, as the rebuilding committee is busy clearing the rubble from the war, framing the new station halls, and beautifying the Capitol for the election. Smaller sub-committees are in Districts 2 and 12 helping with rebuilding projects, and there are local committees in each of the other Districts as well, such as a farming project in 13, new housing in 11, and assistance with raising homes and businesses up above rising sea levels in 4.
But mostly, Johanna is in the Capitol, working on project proposals for all of these projects, because she realized somewhere along the way that her strength is in translating what needs to be done to the higher powers, in securing funding, and communicating among all the sub-committees. Secretly, she puffs up with pride a little at Coin recognizing this skill in her before she saw it in herself, and looks forward to her transition to advisor, when less weighs directly on her shoulders. Though, she wonders if she'll feel that way if she doesn't get along with the new councilor.
She, Enobaria and Peeta watch the debates and interviews closely at the tavern after work, as most people seem to - this being the new thing to do, now that there are no more Hunger Games. The candidates for the reconstruction councilor are three: the surveyor from District 13, Mr. Powers, a stonemason from District 2 named Wilhelmina Quip, and a Capitolite who fought in the rebellion named Jeremiah Kingsley. She's biased towards Powers since they've worked together before and she knows they can get along, but he doesn't have great presence on stage, with Wilhelmina much more of a commanding and assertive presence, and Jeremiah more gregarious and affable in a way that many people probably find reassuring, but she finds disingenuous.
They see Gale a few days later, during the interviews for defense councilor, and now his beard is close-shaven, his black hair longer than she remembers it, not the military cut he had been wearing. "If elected, I promise to bring transparency and accountability to our nation's military," he says. "We want to be defended, we want to be secure, but we also don't want to be afraid of our own neighbors."
She thinks of the walls in 11, with the guard towers with perfect cut-outs for shooting out of with rifles. She thinks of the gallows in the town center in 7. Peeta told her there was a place where people were whipped in the town center in 12. She'd been sold to a Peacekeeper more than once, in the Capitol, back when Snow was still alive. He isn't wrong, to want to want to change such a system.
The longer the campaigning goes on, the more conspicuous it feels that Haymitch and Katniss are absent. She wonders one evening if they're dead, if they've been dead, if Coin had them killed quietly, to avoid disruption, and the world has kept turning without them in it for some time now. The thought stills her, and she is seated at her table past sundown, forgetting to turn lights on, forgetting to meet the others at the tavern. It's Enobaria, of course, who comes to check on her, who lets herself into the door she forgot to lock, and when she turns the light on to see Johanna on the chair in the dark, she stops, for a moment, her brow furrowing. "Are you alright?"
She is alright, physically, of course, but she can't calm down, even with Enobaria here. "Give me one of those," she says, nodding to the morphling cigarettes on her nightstand, and Enobaria obeys, bringing two over, with the lighter. They smoke and sit, in silence for a while, until the drugs kick in, until she feels gentled enough to speak. "Do you think they're still alive?" she asks at last, mashing her palm not holding the cigarette into her eyes, letting the black and bursts of color take over her vision momentarily.
"Yes," Enobaria says firmly. "If you came to dinner, you would have seen it."
"Seen what?" Despite the morphling, she can feel her heartbeat racing, and the result is dizzying. Enobaria flips on the small television, changing the station to the nightly news.
There's a picture of a banner hanging in the square, across from Snow's old mansion. There are workers pulling it down, but the camera has captured it before that, the message clear in bold, black letters: REMOVE THE WAR CRIMINALS!
"You think they were here?" It's hard to explain the feeling that overtakes her - it's not excitement or fear, more like pure adrenaline. It hurts, almost, despite the morphling, to think about the logical conclusion to all this, that she cannot just keep her head down and continue working as an advisor to the council, that there will be a clash between at least two sides before this is all over.
"If they didn't put the sign up, their allies did," Enobaria says. "I'll be surprised if they don't question us."
And now the adrenaline surges forward, turning to real fear, and she is shivering, thinking of going into any sort of interrogation, being held against her will. And this time, she really knows nothing. Usually, now is when Enobaria might say something calming, or even slap her, to bring her to her senses, but Enobaria was in that prison too, Enobaria knows what the Peacekeepers were capable of. She seems to be lost in thought too, fearing the rebel factions antics could get her wrapped up in a plot she knows nothing about once again. So they sit, and sit, and then Enobaria grabs two more of the morphling cigarettes and they smoke those too. "Coin trusts us," Johanna says, testing the words, the first either of them have spoken in what feels like an hour.
"Coin trusted Katniss and she got shot, so I don't think she's going to take too many risks," Enobaria replies.
The next day, the final candidates are in the Capitol for a televised debate, and there is a buzz over the banner, though it's been removed. The council is meeting in the afternoon, but the morning is dedicated to Coin's press conference addressing the incident. Johanna stands with Enobaria in the area for the council, aware of what a nice target they are, all lined up together, all separated from the regular citizens, and she feels vulnerable, suddenly afraid that there's a sniper or someone ready to reconstruct the government hiding out, readying their shot.
She distracts herself by scanning the crowd and the windows of the adjacent buildings for Katniss or Haymitch, even though she knows they wouldn't dare show their faces here. Naturally, she sees no one, but it's enough to calm her nerves. The candidates for the election are in the box on the other side of the stage, and she sees Gale in person for the first time in months. He offers her a tentative nod.
Did he put up the poster? It seems unlikely, but she can't really figure him out. His dedication toward Katniss was unmatched, at least it had been. Then again, he did sleep with her. All of these thoughts fade as President Coin begins to speak.
"Good morning, and welcome to the Capitol to all who have traveled, and thank you for watching to everyone at home. As you know, we are on the cusp of one of the most important times in our nation's history: our first election in decades, and we are setting the stage for a smooth transition of power. Our transition government has worked for the past year to get everything ready for our elected members, and we expect you, citizens of Panem, to come and vote for your representatives. Of course, I want to address the instability we have seen, including the banner posted last night. If the group responsible would like an audience with myself or the council, please come to the council chambers so we can address your concerns in valid forum. Otherwise, vague claims of war crimes from the shadows cannot be tolerated if Panem wants to move forward into a more peaceful era.
"Lastly, it would be my honor to continue as your president if I am voted for another term, and I will step down if my opponent is voted in. But please be patient. The election is scheduled for next week, but we may delay it by 1 or 2 weeks as we investigate the recent events. Either way, the new term will begin from the date of the election and last 2 years from then."
There is a scattering of applause and then it grows, as the words sink in. The candidates are discussing the last part amongst themselves but overall look pleased, as they may get an extra week to campaign. Coin turns the microphone over to Plutarch who begins explaining some of the finer details of the election.
That afternoon in the council chambers, there is a sort of distraction, as they discuss the regular meeting points, but everyone keeps glancing at the television mounted on the wall that is playing the debates between the three candidates for budget councilor. Regis is there, and there is a woman from 4 along with a woman from 11, all discussing finances with serious faces. It's nothing like the reconstruction councilor debate, which seemed to be centered around vague plans and personality. This was all about numbers, fiscal understanding, and disbursement of funds to certain programs and not others.
Beetee is tinkering with his radio as always, and even Johanna is using the downtime to make edits to a document she is working on - a proposal to renovate the Hunger Games training center into a jobs training center. The actual council motion at the moment is from education, and Pike is giving a report on the literacy rates throughout Panem. Enobaria has her hand raised to ask a question, likely just to be polite, when the doors are thrown open.
She expected perhaps Plutarch, or Fulvia, or one of the undersecretaries who had forgotten something in the council chambers. She does not expect to be face to face with Katniss Everdeen and Haymitch Abernathy after all this time. Her hand trembles, leading to an ink scrawl over the notes she was writing, but she's forgotten all about that now.
She's shaking, her throat is closing. How could they be here, now after a year of nothing? Was she dreaming? Was this real?
It's Enobaria, of course, who reacts first, standing and grabbing the metal pole used to hold the microphone she and Johanna shared. But it's worth less than nothing, they see soon, as Haymitch and Katniss aren't alone. They have soldiers with them, in District 13 uniforms, holding semi-automatic rifles. They could kill everyone in this room in less than 30 seconds. Two of the soldiers guard the door facing out, and two facing in. The last two go to the windows, drawing the shades.
Six of the seven councilors are there: Johanna for reconstruction, Enobaria for transportation, Peeta for industry, Beetee for communications, Pike for education, and a man from 13 named Weekes, who manned the defense council. Regis is conspicuously absent, though they can all see him on the television, discussing something with no idea what was happening in the council chambers at this moment.
Beetee is the first to move, and none of the soldiers react as he sets up the small camera they often used to call President Coin from the council chamber. "Traitor!" Pike calls, taking the words from Johanna's throat, where they are caught, because she doesn't know exactly what to say. Is Beetee a traitor? He had been secretly communicating with Katniss, that much is clear. She would bet anything that the "broken" radio he took to council meetings was used to broadcast their proceedings to the rebels. She shudders to think that Haymitch had been listening to her for months, but couldn't be bothered to let her in on his important, secret plans.
Things are moving but she is frozen in place, unwilling to even look in his direction. Why did he come back now? And right into the council chambers? She struggles to find an ending to this day where one of them isn't shot in the head. Beetee's call goes through, and she sees Coin and Plutarch on the other end, obviously rushed from where they had been watching the debate. "Ms. Everdeen," she greets, maintaining more composure than Johanna thought she would have in the same situation.
"Coin," Katniss says. The council chambers are round, and Enobaria and Johanna sit at the end of the horseshoe-shaped table. She can see Katniss in profile - her hair long, her limbs thin but toned, her clothing torn and stained in some places, obviously well-worn from some trekking. She looks older, even though it's only been a year. "I am here to demand you step down from the presidency." Her words are firm and rehearsed.
"As you likely know, there is to be an election within the next two weeks. I will of course vacate the presidency if it is the will of the people."
"You pushed back the election on a whim because of one banner, who's to say you won't do it again? And again? Who's to say you won't continue to rule Panem for years?"
Coin, for her part, acknowledges this point with a small nod of deference. "I delayed the election to ensure public safety. You're the one making demands from the shadows, I'm running Panem as transparently as I can."
Johanna can't see Haymitch well, as he is on the other side of Katniss, and it allows her to calm down a bit, to forget about him. But then Peeta stands, from his seat right in the middle of the council chamber. "If I understand it correctly, we can vote as a council to impeach you, President Coin."
She raises her eyebrows, but doesn't reply right away. Instead, it is Plutarch who steps in. "Indeed, a vote of 5 out of 7 on the council is necessary to remove the president."
"Send back the last council member," Katniss says. "I want to vote on it."
"I will send Regis, under two conditions. You let everyone in my council go, unharmed, by midnight, with this business finished, and if the vote is not to impeach, you will let this go."
Katniss turns around, meeting all of their gazes. She seems to be sizing up her allies. When she gets to Johanna, it's Katniss who looks away first. "I will not harm your council. My soldiers are here for my protection. If the vote is not to impeach, I will allow the general election to proceed."
"Very well," Coin acquiesces.
"May the odds be ever in your favor," Katniss smiles, before Beetee ends the call.
There is a lull, now, as they wait for the debate to end and for Regis to return to the council chambers. It's about 2PM, and Johanna has a feeling the final vote won't take place until just before midnight, so she anticipates being stuck here for ten hours. She puts her head in her arms on the desk, determined to ignore Haymitch and Katniss until they want to start their formal presentation and show off whatever they had been working on for a year. She would kill to not be sober right now, to plunge pure morphling right into her vein and drift off, forgetting this entire thing, but unfortunately, she is responsible about specific things, and never brought even cigarettes to work, let alone anything more toxic.
"Want to go to the other room?" Enobaria whispers in her ear. It's their only option for escape, really, the council chambers included the large meeting room, the smaller sitting room or antechamber, and the bathroom, and she was certain the rebel soldiers had blocked off all the other exits, so she nods, desperate to be somewhere where less people are looking at her.
Enobaria hands her her crutches as she stands, and she hates how she lurches a bit with the first step, knowing Haymitch, who's been watching her for years will have caught it, and she tries her best to shuffle out of the room without anymore commotion. She sits with Enobaria in the antechamber and crushes her palms to her eyes. "They told Beetee their plans and not me?" she asks, her voice no louder than a whisper, but Enobaria was an expert at reading lips.
She shrugs. "They knew they needed to come with the guns. That this wouldn't be so easy to win people over anymore. People are happy. They like the new government."
"Am I stupid? Am I stupid for wanting to be loved by someone who probably just wanted me to help his rebellion?" It's the only conclusion that she can come to, for why Haymitch would treat her with so much care, ask her to do such dangerous things, and then leave her, twice. And she did them, willingly, because they had once believed in the same future.
"You're not stupid," Enobaria assures her. "The world before Snow died was a completely different world."
Peeta comes to the doorway, knocking so as not to startle them. "Someone's coming up the stairs," he says.
They go back to the main chamber, taking their seats, and now she is surely aware of Haymitch's gaze on her and for the first time she meets it, allowing some of the questions, some of the anger to seep through. He, too, averts his gaze first, turning back to Katniss. And then there is some commotion outside the door, just behind her, and still standing, she and Enobaria go to look. It is Regis, come to take the last seat in the council, but with him is Gale Hawthorne. She wonders if he came on his own, hearing Katniss was back, or if this is a card played by Coin. Either way she is intrigued, as it adds more chaos to this already messy arrangement.
The soldiers don't want to let Gale in, so she turns back to the front of the room. "Kitty-kat, your other lover is here," she coos. Enobaria punches her shoulder in amusement. It feels good, just for a moment, to let off a little tension, to make a joke. But Katniss comes to the door, all serious energy, and glares at Gale.
"Why are you here?"
So apparently he was not part of the rebel alliance. "I deserve to be here."
"This is a vote to impeach Coin conducted by the council. You don't have a vote."
He's pushing up against the soldiers, who, for their part, seem very reticent to use their weapons. "I know you're going to bring up war crimes, how do I not get a seat at the table for that?"
At this, Katniss seems to deflate, and she nods at the soldiers that they can let Gale in. He walks past Johanna, eyeing her improved haircut and worse everything else, and nods a brief greeting, nods again at Peeta, and then takes a seat in the corner of the room.
Beetee has set a camera up. Not to broadcast anything, he assures them, but to maintain a record of the proceedings. She feels her chest start to get tight, just seeing the camera, but she's distracted by Peeta, who runs into the antechamber pale as a ghost. They can hear him retching. Katniss makes a half-gesture to go after him, but it's Regis who follows him, in the end.
"There were cameras, down there," Gale says, though it's hard to hear him, over the din of Peeta coughing and chairs scraping.
"What?" Katniss asks. She looks like she wants to ignore him, but she's drawn to him, whether to know what he's saying or because of their past, and Johanna wonders if he's here just for Katniss personally, not because of any political leanings.
"In that Capitol dungeon, when we rescued Peeta and the others. There were cameras in the interrogation rooms."
She had forgotten that. She thinks of every moment when she was shoved in front of a camera for her job as a councilor, how she just assumed it was flashbacks to her Hunger Games interviews that made her uncomfortable. She'd managed video calls fine, the small camera for those calls not triggering the same reaction in her psyche as the larger camera for video recordings.
And now, seated across from Katniss and Haymitch, it's not exactly an interrogation, but the blinds are drawn and there are armed guards at the door, she understands why Peeta is ill. Haymitch stands and leaves the room to check on Peeta. Katniss looks tense, impatient that nothing has started yet, and frustrated with the hiccups.
"So are you just gonna leave it running or…?" Johanna asks, glaring at her. Beside her, she can see even Enobaria's hands are shaking a little.
"We need a record of what happens here today," Katniss says, through gritted teeth. She sits for a moment, but then the thought occurs to her: do recordings exist of their torture in the Capitol? Is there video that survived the war, video that anyone can watch of her, Peeta, and Enobaria's most vulnerable, painful moments?
Johanna stands and limps to the front of the room, and Katniss stands too, frustratingly taller than her despite being younger, blocking her path. "Move," she grunts, shoving her with the end of her crutch. And she takes off her jacket, draping it over the camera, enough that the clunky body is obscured with the blue fabric, so just the lens is peeking out. "Maybe Peeta can tolerate that, at least," she says. She feels exposed now, with just the sleeveless undershirt on, but she was sweating with the tension before, so this is a good compromise.Katniss nods, handing her her crutches and Johanna turns back to her seat.
But of course it's when Haymitch is returning, and she's face to face with him for the first time in a year. He looks well enough, a little slimmer than she remembers but he is well-groomed, his clothes nicer than Katniss's, and he's tired, she can see the exhaustion in his eyes, but he's sober.
"Johanna," he says, in front of Katniss, in front of the whole council, on their god-damned video recording, as if the year they spent apart was just another cycle of the Hunger Games and they were meeting in the Capitol on schedule, and not some insane rebel takeover of the council chambers that he and Katniss were heading, after leaving her with no contact.
She finds she can't even say his name, because she doesn't know if will come out as desperate or spiteful, and she's too afraid to find out. She knows her face is reflecting her betrayal and she lets it, as she tries to move past him to sit down again.
"Wait, please," he says, reaching out and touching her arm. It is less shocking to be touched by him than she thinks, in fact, it feels almost too natural, but it's that comfort, that sinking into familiarity that nearly brings tears to her eyes. They had this, and then he left. She murdered Snow so they could have this, and still it wasn't enough.
"Not now," she says, averting her eyes. She hates him. She hates him for coming here like no time had passed, having this reunion in front of everyone, explaining nothing. Enobaria stands, and comes from behind him, removing his hand. He complies without another word, understanding the conversation is over, at least for now, and Johanna walks back to her seat with Enobaria.
For the first time in weeks? months? Johanna is reminded of the deadweight dread that is the absence of Finnick as Katniss begins her speech. Peeta has returned to the room, a little green but much more settled, and with the whole council arranged and the disguised camera recording, proceedings begin.
But it's painful, to have them all together, to see Katniss and Haymitch and Peeta, to be with Enobaria even, in the Capitol, and not be able to be with Finnick. She only grasps bits and pieces of what Katniss is saying as she struggles to stop daydreaming about him, trying to make sure she remembers the exact way his face looked, to remember the way his voice sounded, to remember the last time they spoke and how his hand felt in hers.
"Alma Coin is running a secret police force," Katniss asserts, and finally, Johanna's attention turns to her more fully. "They chased us from District 12 to District 13, and then into The Wilds."
"Do you know about this, Weekes?" Pike asks, a reasonable question for the defense councilor.
He looks affronted, moreso than Johanna has seen him before. "You're asking me to divulge confidential military operations to a potential enemy," he says.
And Katniss smiles victoriously. "See? They don't tell people, but they're there, doing secret bidding for Coin, getting rid of her personal enemies."
"I think it's reasonable to send police after someone who tried to assassinate the president," Enobaria points out. "Do you have evidence she's used them against people who didn't try to murder her?"
And with this, Katniss sends a deadly glare at Enobaria. Johanna had watched Katniss's Games, she knew she didn't like District 2, but this feels deeper than that, like a personal betrayal. She understands it, a bit, in fact a year ago she might have been up there with Katniss, furious over some injustice. But now she is on the council, and she sees the logic in what Enobaria is saying.
"We have suspicions, but none we can prove, given our limited resources," Haymitch admits. "The more serious accusation is that this is not done transparently, there has been no formal call for Katniss to come to trial, it is a secret game of cat and mouse throughout Panem, done with the Peacekeepers who are likely too rogue to reform into rebuilders, who have a more violent, enforcer nature."
"I understand your concerns," Weekes says, "But Peace is the Priority. In this year of transitional government, the people of Panem are likely to be unsettled and riot at the slightest cause. We could have civil war over the most mundane reasons. We, above everything, need to give the impression of certainty and not allow for contentious scandals." He purses his lips and continues. "It's true we sent forces to retrieve Katniss. This was done in secret because the impression of Katniss is very divisive right now. She has many supporters, but also many felt betrayed by both the murder attempt and leaving Snow alive. The transitional government putting a bounty on her head would have been extremely divisive, but so would a pardons. We were hoping to bring you back here, unharmed, to make a public statement and clear up confusion for the public."
Katniss shakes her head, her smile dripping with wry amusement. "Yeah, I think your soldiers might have missed the instructions about bringing me in unharmed."
Johanna's stomach twists, thinking of the cruelty the Peacekeepers had been capable of in that Capitol dungeon. Coin probably had good intentions, but she did not take steps to ensure the men she sent were any better than Snow's interrogators, in fact, some of them were probably the very same men. "Ok, we can concede on this point, and it's noted, but Weekes' point still stands about the delicacy of the situation in Panem. You need to give us more than that if we're to vote to impeach," she says, and she sees at least Enobaria and Weekes nod in agreement.
Katniss looks at her as if she was looking at a stranger, as if she can't understand how Johanna, who knows firsthand the cruelty of the Peacekeepers, would need more than this to take up arms against the Capitol's leader, but Johanna stands firm. Coin isn't Snow. Coin isn't perfect, of course, but she has made dedicated efforts to improving life in Panem for everyone, not just the elites. And more than anything else, Johanna does not want Panem to fall back into war.
"Fine. Let's talk about the end of the war," Katniss says.
Johanna knows this discussion is going to lead nowhere fast, a debate between the cruelty of directly killing civilians and the efficiency of ending the war quickly, before the war spread, killing more and more people and starving others as resources were cut off.
"Is this the right forum?" Regis asks, "Surely this should go to the courts."
But how could it? How could Coin's actions go before a judge without Katniss's? This is her only recourse.
"Are we certain that second strike was on purpose? And from the rebel forces? We are absolutely certain?" Pike asks.
"Yes," Gale confirms. "I was part of the operation."
"Sounds like it's really taken a toll on you," Katniss nearly sneers, and then, almost unable to help herself, turns to him fully. "I saw you in your interview. Defense councilor? Do you really think you can do that job after what you've done?"
"I want to help," he answers. "I've grown a lot. Johanna told me I've gotta move forward."
"Oh, did she? When was this?" Katniss asks, and Johanna feels like she's in the middle of a lovers quarrel more than a council debate.
"A few months after you left. When we slept together."
Gale says this coolly, as if he were answering a question about military tactics, but there's a hint of a smile on his lips, as if he knows this statement is a loaded gun. She can feel Katniss and Haymitch's eyes on her, and she turns to Gale instead, annoyed that he's playing her like a pawn in his fight with Katniss.
"Let's take a break," Enobaria suggests.
Johanna bums a cigarette from Regis and smokes in the women's bathroom, leaning against the counter with Enobaria. She would usually not stoop so low during council activities, but today was a highly unusual day. "What the fuck," she says on the exhale.
Enobaria just shakes her head, inspecting her nails. "You gonna talk to him?"
"Which one?"
"Either of them."
Johanna shrugs. "I'm so mad right now I can't."
"Stay mad, they both fucked you over."
The cigarette is gone too soon, and Johanna rinses the butt under the faucet before tossing it in the trash. "So, Beetee will vote to impeach, of course. Peeta will probably be convinced. Weekes might fold since they're really laying into his defense council. Regis might, because he's a softie. So it's you, me, and Pike they really need to butter up."
Enobaria nods. "I was thinking the same. And they only need five votes, so only one of us needs to fold." She rolls her eyes. "Funny, that it comes down to the women."
They walk back to their seats to see the others are starting to settle down. Haymitch throws a glance her way, and she wants to know what he expects? A smile? A sarcastic quip like old times? The space between the council's table and the table he sits at with Katniss is like a line in the sand, dug deeper with every month he spent away without a word. She sees Beetee, directly opposite her at the other end of the horseshoe-shaped table. Beetee. They trusted Beetee but not her. She walked back to her seat thinking that she had an open mind, that she would vote to impeach if it was the right decision, that her role on the council is to do what is best for Panem. But now she can feel her emotions clouding her judgment, she can feel her anger at the circumstances entrenching her against Katniss and Haymitch, wanting to defend the transitional government from attack.
"I want to talk about some of the unelected officials," Katniss says, when the session begins again.
"We're all unelected, it's an interim government," Enobaria is quick to rebut. Her unspoken remark, 'are you here to impeach us all?' is obvious enough.
"Bad choice of words," Katniss corrects. "I was thinking of people that will remain in their positions without an election next year."
"Like Plutarch," Gale suggests.
"Right."
Johanna vaguely remembers Gale being angry at Plutarch the only other time she saw him this year.
"What's the relevance?" Regis asks. "What does this have to do with the matter at hand?"
Haymitch sits up again, and Johanna is sure he is more familiar with Plutarch than Katniss. "The concern is that Plutarch is unelected, and can continue in an advisor role to the president year after year. Coin appointed him, but how many of her decisions are really his? No one asked for Plutarch Heavensbee to rule Panem. He's a vestige of Snow's era, and while he did help us with the rebellion, I don't want Coin allowing him to sneak through as second in command for the next president and the next, passing laws and designing Panem in his image."
"That's what I've been saying!" Gale says. "But Plutarch owns all the broadcasts, so he censors anything I say against him."
"Do you have proof of this?" Pike asks. "This is perhaps more serious than the accusations against President Coin. We cannot allow any chance of another dictator in Panem."
Gale looks surprised to be taken seriously by the council, as if he was preparing for another verbal spar with Katniss. "I have written copies of my speeches that can be compared to what was actually broadcast." Johanna sees Pike and Weekes taking down notes. Gale lowers his voice a bit. "On my local defense squadron, we tried to take care of him, but no dice."
"Tried? What did you do?" Enobaria asks the question, standing to turn and face him in the back corner, behind Johanna and her.
Gale is suddenly silent, as if he realizes too late that he's said too much. And Johanna realizes with dread what Enobaria is suspecting. It was Plutarch, after all, who spoke just before her at that press conference. And of course there were former Peacekeepers there.
"You tried to poison him," Peeta says, his mind obviously making the same connection as hers and Enobaria's.
Gale's silence lasts a half second too long, and Johanna stands too, turning to look him in the eyes. "It was you?" she asks, wondering what cruel fate this was, that Gale would be the one to save her from that prison cell, and also the one to doom her to a life where she can never walk normally again.
"I didn't- It was one of the other soldiers- the plan was corrupted-" he stutters, but she doesn't want to hear it, she just wants to get to him to hit him as hard as she can. But she's slow, because of him, of course, so Haymitch crosses the room faster than her, and she's a step behind him as he punches Gale in the face, close enough that she has to dodge the recoil.
"Of all the stupid fucking plans," Haymitch says, and she can hear emotion in his voice that she hasn't heard for a year, can see the way his hand trembles as if he's considering taking a second swing, or maybe he just really needs a drink. "You picked poison, and didn't even guarantee it would go to the right target?"
She hears the click of the gun even though she can't see it, her ears attuned to the noise of danger through her training during the war. She drops the crutches and grabs Haymitch's shoulder and pulls him back, hard, and thankfully he capitulates, both of them stumbling back despite her poor grip. Gale has a gun. Gale brought a gun into the council chambers. This fact feels more controversial than the six soldiers with semi-automatic rifles, if only for the fact that she doesn't understand Gale at all, that Gale almost killed her already.
She can see how the weapon got in - Gale was a rebel soldier himself until recently, in fact, he was high up in command. Of course these soldiers would trust him, would be uncomfortable searching him. But look where that got them now, with Gale's gun facing Haymitch and the rebel soldier's guns pointed at Gale. Johanna can feel Haymitch's arm around her, steadying her now that she's without her crutches, and with a gun pointed at him, she finds most of her anger dissipate. Finnick is dead. Haymitch is the last person on earth who knew her intimately, and there is a non-zero chance of his brains being blown out by Gale making a rash decision. What's one year in the scheme of all of their years? What's one year if they have the future, she supposes?
"Let's calm down," Katniss says, trying to walk closer. Johanna wonders who she's trying to save: Haymitch or Gale.
"I am calm," Gale grumbles. "I admit it was botched, but I was trying to do something, instead of everyone else who just sits around talking." Still, the gun stays aimed at Haymitch. Johanna can hardly breathe from the tension in the room, but in her periphery, she can see Katniss soften, ever so slightly. She supposes Katniss can relate to that, a bit. The Mockingjay took action. The Mockingjay wanted to go where things were happening, rather than just filming propos or staying behind. It's why she took the shot at Coin when she did, she supposed.
"What do you want?" Enobaria asks. "For us to dismiss Plutarch as part of the negotiations?"
"To start," Gale asks. The gun wavers as he looks at Enobaria, and Johanna can feel Haymitch move her behind him slightly. She holds onto his waist, relegated to an observer in this drama. "I think he deserves a public execution, but the 'delicate fabric of the state' probably can't handle that," he says.
"He can have a trial, that much we can do," Pike says.
"Gale, put the gun down. None of this works if there's dead bodies coming out of this council chamber tonight." Katniss's voice is commanding, and Gale complies. Johanna almost falls from relief as seven guns are lowered, but she waits for Enobaria to hand her the dropped crutches and she is able to maintain her footing.
"Are you alright?" Haymitch asks her. It feels different, now that she's considered his mortality, now that she's questioned how angry she should stay, considering there's the chance he could be imprisoned, or killed. She feels deflated, but also resentful, as if she was robbed of the chance for very real anger, as if she ought to put her feelings behind her and make nice, just in case she doesn't get another chance.
She nods, still unsure of what to really say, still too exposed in front of the council, the camera to speak to him fully. Gale's gun is taken away, and they resume.
Katniss recaps their progress, the accusations against Coin, and the decision to pursue a trial against Plutarch Heavensbee. It's now after 10PM, and the sun has set, no light left in the sky where it is visible in the cracks in the blinds. "Let's take an initial, tentative vote," Katniss proposes. "All in favor of impeachment?"
As predicted, Beetee, Peeta, and Regis raise their hands. Johanna had thought Weekes would, but he, like Pike, was District 13, so perhaps he had a natural affinity for his home district, or perhaps he just didn't think there was enough evidence to impeach. "All in favor of clearing the charges?"
"Katniss, it isn't so simple," Enobaria says.
"It is. If you aren't going to vote for impeachment, record yourself on the record as clearing President Coin of all charges."
Haymitch opens his mouth, and then closes it again. It seems that even he is running up against what he can tolerate in Katniss's logic.
"There are a lot of people in this room who have done bad things," Johanna says. "You tried to kill Coin, I did kill Snow, Gale tried to kill Plutarch and poisoned me instead. Why is only Coin facing those two options?"
"Because only Coin is trying to run the country," she says, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world.
"The council also has broad power," Pike points out. "Gale has expansive power in his role."
"That isn't what we're voting on." Katniss stands up from the table and walks to Johanna specifically. Johanna knows what she's doing, appealing to each of them individually until she can secure her last two votes. She glances at the clock. Katniss has an hour and 41 minutes left. "Johanna, I know you're torn up about this, at least a little bit."
"My personal feelings don't matter, I am acting in the best interest in the reconstruction council, and that is to allow President Coin to finish her term."
"But can't you see? It isn't in your best interest!"
Something occurs to Johanna, only then, hearing Katniss so, so certain she understood how the council worked. She tries to catch Haymitch's eye, but he's looking away, towards Peeta. "Say I give you my vote," Johanna proposes, and even at these words, she can feel Enobaria prodding into her side, a definite, definite 'don't you dare'. "Coin is out, but our councils under her already have projects in the works, things that have money appropriated for them already. Would you guarantee that these council projects would remain ongoing?"
And Katniss nods, desperate to get her way. "Yes. We'll have to review them to ensure no foul play, like the secret police, but if they're cleared, they can continue."
And she can feel Haymitch looking at her now, but she doesn't dare look away from Katniss. She can feel Enobaria heated beside her as well, nearly ready to jump up. "I'm sorry, we?" Johanna asks. "You make it sound like you're taking over, like we're voting out Coin so you can get your hands in here." She stands, and even though she's not eye level with Katniss, it's close enough.
Enobaria stands, too, and she towers over Katniss, challenging her to reply.
"I just want to make sure it's done right," she says, but her voice doesn't have nearly the confidence it had before.
"I fucking knew it," Enobaria says. "Put Plutarch on trial just to have a teenager running the country because she feels like that would be best." She turns on her heel and leaves the room in disgust, and Johanna follows.
For all they know, Katniss tries to save the vote, but no one bothers to call them back. She sits with Enobaria in the antechamber, two of the six guards in the doorway, their guns hanging.
"This is why you never became a rebel, huh?" Johanna asks. "It's just going from the palm of someone's hand to the palm of someone else's."
They're laying back on the too-plush couches, hungry and tired, minds too full of the drama of that night to stay upright. "It wasn't anything so noble," Enobaria says. "It was just self-preservation. Being a rebel meant risking your life for something that seemed like it was never coming."
"I used to be like her," Johanna says. "In fact I admire her spirit."
"You did used to be like her," Enobaria agrees. She turns on her side, facing Johanna. "You think Haymitch believes in all this stuff?"
It's the first time Enobaria has brought up Haymitch on her own, and it surprises Johanna. "I think I owe him at least a conversation," she concedes.
They are called back at 11:45PM, and the video call is made back to President Coin's office. "We will now host the final vote," Katniss says.
"Do I get any remarks?" Coin asks.
"It would be improper not to," Haymitch allows, before Katniss has a chance to speak.
"Very good. Personally, I will accept any vote of the council, as long as it is not given under coercion or duress. I admit that I have made some controversial decisions in bringing peace to Panem, but I hope that my dedication to instilling democracy in this nation cannot be questioned. Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, I do not wish for you to live in hiding any longer. Tomorrow, before the election, I hope to hold a formal pardons, even if it is my last act as president. Thank you."
As usual, Coin did not read from any cards. She knew what she wanted to say and said it right to their faces. For the first time, Johanna could see the power of that. "Alright," Katniss says. "All in favor of impeachment?"
And there is no one. The hands remain down across the table.
Johanna can see Katniss deflate, can see the grief of the loss of her sister hit her again in real time. She wants to tell her to come to work, to try rebuilding this new Panem, to settle into the rhythm of a world that isn't constantly in crisis, but she knows it will just add insult to injury at this point. Instead, she watches as all eight of them: Katniss, Haymitch, and the 6 soldiers clear the room.
They walk home mostly in silence, exhausted from the day of negotiations. She, Enobaria, and Peeta turn towards their apartment, bidding the others goodnight. Peeta sighs once it's just the three of them, and he seems to shrink, his shoulders sagging. "I thought I'd know what to do," he murmurs.
"You will, tomorrow, you can talk," Enobaria assures him. "Today was just the beginning."
"I feel like I failed her."
"Sleep on it, it'll be fine." Johanna assures him.
And the next day, they attend Coin's press conference, she and Enobaria splitting a bottle of wine with their breakfast before walking over, a small treat for the overtime they put in the night before. Peeta looks tired, as if he got less sleep than he should have last night, but definitely more optimistic than he had been walking back the night before. They sit in the seats set aside for the council, Johanna checking Enobaria for wine stains on her lips before the cameras begin to roll.
Now, conscious of it, she can feel the nausea roll through her at being recorded. She can remember, vaguely, what it was like to have the Peacekeepers drown her, shock her, yell at her to answer their questions with a camera pointed at her the entire time. She ignores it, choosing to watch Katniss and Haymitch being directed around backstage by Plutarch Heavensbee.
President Coin enters the stage and greets everyone, her face pleasant and neutral. "Welcome everyone, and thank you for tuning in to this press conference. First, I would like to announce that we officially have a date for our elections. It will be 4 days from now, at the end of this working week, and last for 48 hours. You can vote at any of your station halls, as well as at designated ballot boxes in the town centers." There is a scattering of applause, and she waits for it to die down.
"Second, I would like to announce a formal pardons for Katniss Everdeen. Her efforts during the war were extraordinary in securing the win for the rebels, and despite her initial mistrust of our transitional government, we have come to an understanding. I would like to pardon Haymitch Abernathy as well, for harboring Katniss while she was a fugitive. Please, let's welcome them back to the Capitol."
There is a much louder applause as Haymitch and Katniss are brought on stage, and Johanna joins in. Katniss looks like she's sagging, like she's once again on stage before the execution, but Johanna hopes that this is temporary, that she just can't see the light at the other side yet.
"Lastly," Coin says, "I am here to announce the resignation of Plutarch Heavensbee. With the new term, we will have the council decide how to fill the vacated position, whether it be with an appointment or a special election. Thank you."
This was a good faith move by Coin to meet all of Katniss's demands: keep the election on time, clear her charges, and get rid of Plutarch. As the press conference ends, reporters are clamoring to ask Katniss questions, and the people who have come to watch in person are eager to see the Mockingjay in person.
With the event over, Haymitch walks over to the council seats. "Johanna, Enobaria," he greets, not showing the least bit of surprise at this friendship that was unthinkable before the Quarter Quell.
"Haymitch," Enobaria responds, nodding up at him from her seat.
"You busy? I was thinking of getting a drink," he says.
"Yes, sadly I have to meet someone," Enobaria says, excusing herself.
Johanna wants to reach for her, to keep her nearby because she feels unsure of herself suddenly, but Enobaria's departure was tacit approval for Johanna to at least get a drink with Haymitch, so she watches as Enobaria walks away, then grabs her crutches. "I have time," she concedes.
She scans the list of places to drink, trying to think of somewhere private, before she realizes that there's no reason, there's nothing they need to discuss that's a secret anymore. She chooses a tavern with a cozy back room, and they slide into a booth in the back. He orders his favorite white liquor and soda, and she takes red wine, a little partial to it now that Enobaria has made her drink so much.
"I'm glad you're not dead," she says at last, when he takes too long to start the conversation. This has never happened, she's never found him without words, and it throws her off. All of her emotions are bumping into each other: anger and resentment and fear and relief, she doesn't know how to sort them.
"I could say the same about you," he says. He sips the drink, a little too hasty.
"Why did you leave?" she asks, the question coming out before she can stop it. "And never get in touch? Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I trust you," he says, his expression more serious than it's been all day. "Johanna, someone tried to kill you without me contacting you."
"I killed Snow. I did what she was supposed to do. Again. I-"
"I know." He grabs her hand, his thumb brushing across the scar on her palm where the shard of glass had been embedded when she was in Gale's apartment. She can feel the tears pricking her eyes, the horrible feeling of having to compete with Katniss for Haymitch's attention and losing every time. "And I'm sorry. The truth is, I didn't expect that, at the assassination. And when it happened, I thought, I need to make sure they don't arrest her. And then suddenly the secret police were after us, and Katniss was getting all these ideas in her head, that this government was just as bad as the last one. I thought if we stayed away it would die down, but it just fueled those concerns. All we had to go on was Beetee's bootlegged press conferences and council sessions over the radio."
"You left for a fucking year," she says, "Because Katniss hated the government?"
He shakes his head. "I truly don't know if Weekes, and even Coin know this, but that squadron they sent after us, those are some of the lowest of the low in the Peacekeepers. Men who would kill for sport, or find new ways to torture people for information. It was like being in another fucking Games, Johanna."
He finishes his first drink, then flags down the waiter for another. "We went to 12, then 11, then 13, then The Wilds. We picked up several rebel soldiers in 13, but we lost 3 along the way to those fuckers."
It's easy to see Katniss as a villain, warped by grief into trying to take over the new government herself, tricked into thinking that usurping the democracy is the only way to guarantee the rights of the people will not be infringed upon. Distantly, and for the first time, she wonders if that was Snow once, thinking if he wanted things done right he ought to do them himself, and then things got warped and twisted along the way. Johanna knows the cruelty of the Peacekeepers, knows exactly how willing they are to impact suffering on their perceived enemies, and knows Katniss was only responding to what parts of Coin's government she was exposed to. "I'm sorry too," she says. "This whole thing turned into such a mess."
The waiter drops off Haymitch's second drink, but he leaves it for the time being, keeping his hand on hers. "You know, there was a couple weeks there where you were replaced on the council, all we knew was that you had been poisoned. I thought you were dead."
She smiles grimly. "Still here."
Johanna orders dinner at the tavern, for the first time in months allowing her food to be cooked where she can't see it being prepared, and she finishes the meal, realizing only then how incredibly, bottomlessly hungry she feels. After, they pay and walk out onto the street, and it's the same roads of the Capitol, but Johanna realizes that it's transformed: she doesn't see the roads as places she was driven to see clients anymore, but as places she goes to do work for the government. It's no longer defined by her years as a Mentor, but by this most recent year, as a councilor.
Haymitch looks torn, as if deciding if he should ask her back or not, and so she stops, facing him. The sun has set, and around them are people walking back and forth from the bars and restaurants of the Capitol, an average, peaceful night, and it's nice, to do this with him for once. "Are you going to leave again?" she asks. It's the most important question, after all. How could she handle him leaving her behind a third time?
"I'm staying," he confirms.
She kisses him there, in public, an act that would have been absolutely treasonous under Snow, and it feels as satiating as the dinner she just ate. She's still mad, at him, and at the world that caused all of this: the war, the Peacekeepers, the fucking Hunger Games. But this is helping, and the closer she gets to him, the more the feelings start to settle out, and she feels like she won't come completely undone.
"I haven't had a cigarette worth shit in a year," he says, the closest he can get to asking her back.
"Your tobacco is probably crap from 12, we should go by my place."
And so they do, and they can hear the arguing from down the hall, Katniss and Peeta certainly. Johanna unlocks the door to her apartment and they go inside, quieting the voices. She gathers her tobacco and papers and the powder morphling just in case, and she turns to leave again and catches him inspecting her apartment, and she suddenly feels self-conscious. "This is so much more like you than that cottage in 7," he says.
She shrugs. Both places have minimum furnishings, laundry thrown over the backs of chairs, hardly any food in the cabinets. She supposes this apartment has a few books on the shelf, things she's studied for work, and a few mementos she's gathered from traveling across Panem, or that Enobaria and Peeta have given her. Her eyes fall on a rope on top of her bookshelf, the one that had belonged to Finnick. And yet she has nothing of Haymitch's here. Had he died, had he never returned, she would have nothing but her memories to prove he existed.
"I trashed your house," she confesses. They leave her apartment to walk back to his hotel.
"What?"
Again, the raised voices of Peeta and Katniss. They wait until they leave the building, for the voices to fade, and then Johanna replies. "When I went to 12. I was really upset. So I might have smashed some things," she says, all of it sounding silly now.
"Noted. When I collect my damages from the secret police, I'll make sure not to count my house being trashed."
"I don't think you're going to get any damages, or I would be getting a big payout."
"Yeah, but it's nice to dream."
They go back to his room, up on the 21st floor of some massive Capitol skyscraper hotel. She rolls them cigarettes and they smoke and catch up on what they missed: he tells her what it's like in The Wilds, and she tells him about the council, about Enobaria.
And it's different than being with Gale, where she was just happy to be desired. She can feel herself reacting to the proximity to Haymitch, she wants to draw closer, to close the final gaps. Her body seems to remember what they had and wants it back. She hasn't been intimate with anyone since she was poisoned, but she has most of her sensation back and about half of her movement, so she's a little clumsy but she can make it work.
"Is this alright?" she asks him, once they've moved to the bed, once clothes are removed, once it's clear that things aren't the same as they once were. She's suddenly self-conscious of her body, reminding herself as fast as she can that he saw her at her worst, that they all have scars from the war.
"Johanna, this is fine. Are you alright?"
And she still doesn't know what to do with care and gentleness, they feel so antithetical to sex after so much time with Snow's clients. She can only nod, trying to accept that he is, as always, genuine, that he is not going to reject her, that she doesn't owe him glamour or perfection. She holds onto him as they fuck, desiring the closeness, some instinctive part of her trying to make up for the lost time.
When she comes, it's unexpected, and she lays back boneless on the bed for a moment, the room a half-light through the pleasure. She'd forgotten this, forgotten what it is to feel true bliss, and not just the manufactured pleasure of morphling. When she recovers, she is reaching for him again, wanting to make sure he remembers the same.
Annie Cresta arrives in the Capitol the morning before the election. Peeta goes to meet her at the station, all of them planning to meet for dinner that night. Johanna goes to breakfast with Enobaria, desperate to try all the restaurants of the Capitol she's been missing out on. She and Enobaria sip mimosas on a balcony, while down below she can see last-minute campaigns by candidates and supporters in the more contentious elections.
"Do you think we're doomed?" she asks, after the conversation lulls a bit. "Like, if we stay in the Capitol long enough, are we going to inevitably become like Snow and his ministers?"
Enobaria, for her part, doesn't laugh at this question. It does feel like the longer they get away from their suffering, the easier it is to forget, the easier it is to defend even terrible actions. "I wonder," she says.
"I'd hope Katniss would just shoot me at that point," she says. But she knows Katniss can be tricked too. Knows there's no good answer, because they're all fallible and how will she know when she's passed the point of no return?
Enobaria laughs, a little sarcastically. "Just don't get rich. Poor people are much harder to corrupt."
Johanna pours them another round of the mimosas and they drink to that. She supposes this won't be hard: she just learned that her new advisor position makes far less than the councilor position, though the workload seems very similar. She supposes it's because the councilor is the one who takes the fall, should things go wrong.
"Did you make up with Haymitch, then?" Enobaria asks, cocking an eyebrow. Johanna notices she's just gotten her hair rebraided, perhaps for the election, but perhaps because she, too, is finally ready to date again.
"I don't know. There's still a lot to talk about. But more or less." Johanna has a feeling Enobaria already knows this, since she hasn't been home for the last two nights, but it's nice to get it off her chest.
Later, that night, Enobaria comes to her apartment in a black dress too revealing for any council duties, and flirty enough that Johanna is certain that there's someone who's caught her eye. "Wow, done with the blazers, huh?" she teases.
"Worst part of being on the council, hands-down," Enobaria jokes. "Are you not dressing up?"
Johanna shrugs. She didn't have many clothes to begin with, and her weight had fluctuated that year, so she tended to stick with the same rotation of outfits that she knew worked well. But Enobaria is digging through her closet, pulling out a tank top, black pants, heels she'd forgotten she owned. "This is fine, you look good in black," she says.
And so they both wear black to the dinner party, in the back of a restaurant in the Capitol's historical district. It's just the Victors: herself, Enobaria, Haymitch, Katniss, Beetee, Peeta, and Annie. On Annie's lap is an infant, maybe six months old. Johanna is across from Annie, and can't stop looking at the baby, who has Finnick's sea-green eyes.
Katniss is next to Annie, quietly picking at her meal, and Peeta on her other side is trying to keep the conversation flowing. "How are things in 4?" he asks Annie.
She smiles. "They're better now," she says. "The labor board is much more robust, and the initial phase of raising the houses and businesses up on stilts is finished, thanks to the grants and workers. Seamus loves to watch the big construction vehicles work, we go there every morning, don't we?" Annie addresses the last part at the baby. He coos in response, obviously charmed with his mother's voice.
"Are you staying long?" Peeta asks.
"No. President Coin invited me here, to have all the living Victors present as a symbol of peace for the first democratic elections in Panem, but we're going back to 4 on Monday. Are you all staying in the Capitol?"
"I am going back to 3, now that my term is done," Beetee says.
"We're staying," Enobaria says, pointing at Johanna and herself. "Though I think we've accrued some vacation time."
"I'm staying," Peeta says, "Though if I lose in the election, I might go back to 12 for a bit, and help with the rebuilding."
"You're going to win," Johanna scoffs, "The people love you."
"Will you still love me if I request you to be my advisor?" he asks, a hint of a teasing smile on his lips that she hasn't seen in weeks.
"I'm better than any advisor you've ever had," she scoffs.
Johanna notices Katniss watching the exchange with mild interest. "You know you can stay too, Katniss," she says.
And Katniss drops her gaze again.
"I'm staying," Haymitch says. "I think I'll take up in one of these kitchens. Make an omelet, a steak, I'm sure I can figure it out." Johanna wonders how serious he is, if he really means to have nothing to do with the government's work. Then again, she's sure he was hungry, uncomfortable during his year on the run. Perhaps it doesn't sound so bad to have a relatively mindless job, surrounded by abundance, food and drink and a roof over his head.
Katniss, on the other hand, looks shocked. "You're staying?" she asks.
And Johanna can feel her breath catch, can feel herself panicking even as she tells herself not to. She can feel Annie staring at her and she wants to curse at her for being entirely too perceptive, but she has Finnick's image on her lap, and how could she be mad at that? But Katniss was clearly surprised by Haymitch's decision, clearly asking for him to change his mind, to go with her back to 12. And he'd chosen Katniss twice before, so she waits, becoming lightheaded as the moment rests on his reply.
"I'm staying," he confirms. "Of course I'll come back to 12 sometimes, but I want to stay here. I owe it to Johanna," he adds. She expects a second reason, that he wants to watch over the new government, that he wants to help Peeta if needed, that he just likes the damn bars here better, but none comes. He owes it to her, so he's going to stay.
She excuses herself a few minutes later, to go to the restroom, unsure how to process this. She knows she'll be followed, knows Enobaria will be there in a moment, so she heads her off before she can even start. "It's what I wanted, I shouldn't feel guilty, right?" she asks.
But it's not Enobaria, but Annie, Seamus on her hip. Annie smiles in that polite, odd way of hers, and puts Seamus down on the changing table, pulling wipes and a clean diaper from her bag. "There's no reason to feel guilty, Johanna," she says. Even now, years later, she catches the way Annie stomps her foot, lighter now, she way she taps three times on the baby's stomach.
Johanna wants to believe her, wants to take the advice of the woman who has no more time left with the man she loves, but she doesn't know what to believe. Having Haymitch feels like taking something away from Katniss, feels like she won at someone else's expense, like the Hunger Games. Katniss has lost her sister, her mother seems to be out of the picture, and Peeta is now living in the Capitol too. For her, even as just a friend and Mentor, Haymitch is one of the only people she has left. But doesn't Johanna deserve happiness too? "Ugh, why can't she just stay in the Capitol too?" Johanna laments.
"I think the longer you're here, the more you get used to it," Annie says. "For Katniss and me, it's still unusual, and kind of unpleasant."
Johanna takes a deep breath. It's not fair to ask Katniss to accommodate her. But it's not fair that she should have to accommodate Katniss. "Annie, thanks for bringing him," she says, marveling at the little boy, now dressed up again with a fresh diaper.
"Of course. I thought you of all people would like to see him."
And she does. It's Finnick's face staring back at her, and it makes her want to weep. She hugs Annie, and they walk back to the group. They've disbanded a bit, out to the front of the restaurant where there is a large bar. Enobaria is flirting with the bartender, and it looks like it's not the first time they've met. Johanna finds Haymitch, and they walk onto the patio, not a private area, but quieter than inside.
"You're sure?" she asks, needing to hear it once again. "I'm not keeping you from anything?"
"From what? A trashed house and a case of white liquor? Come on, Johanna, please believe me."
She wants to, badly. She knows it's her own misgivings that are keeping her from believing, and her past where nothing has turned out right, ever. She doesn't know if she'll survive another blow, getting her hopes up for a good thing only to have it blow up in her face again. But tomorrow they will start voting for a new Panem, and so she might as well try one last time with Haymitch as well. "Alright," she says. "Ok."
She kisses him there, on the patio, surprised by the novelty, surprised that after so many times, it still felt different after making a commitment. "Wow, we should have overthrown Snow years ago," he jokes when they pull apart. "If I knew it would be this good."
She rolls her eyes, pulling him back inside to order another round. Eventually they face Peeta and Enobaria in a drinking game, though Enobaria has to drink all of Peeta's losses for him, and Johanna walks home a little tipsy with Haymitch. The sky is dark, but there are banners lining the streets, a sign of the auspicious weekend ahead of them. It's impossible to say who will win, they've never had an election in Panem as long as either of them have been alive. But the Capitol no longer feels like a nightmare to stay in, in fact, it's starting to feel like her home. And Haymitch is here, and staying, for her. It all feels unreal, like a dream she's going to wake up from. Perhaps it is. Perhaps she will wake and none of this will have happened, or tomorrow someone will assassinate Coin during a speech and the entire world will turn into chaos again. But for now, this is fine.