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Finnick sits on the beach with Annie, both of them tying knots into their respective ropes. Her fingers are more dexterous, so she can make finer knots, but he's made them since he was a boy, so he's faster. It's hard to look at each other sometimes, they've found, but it's not hard to look at the sea, to keep their hands busy on the rope and their eyes on the horizon and talk this way.
"I really like my new room," she says, "The two windows are on different walls, and one looks at the forest, and the other can just barely see the boardwalk."
He knows, he had helped her move into the room, after all, but it's nice to hear her say that she likes it. He wasn't sure, after all. She had just left the home where she had lived for the past couple years, a place for troubled women, and into the Victor's Village, but it was agreed that she would stay with Mags. Mags was infirm now, after the blood clot in her brain, and Annie could help her get around and procure groceries and things she needed, and Mags could help Annie as well. Only another Victor could really understand, Finnick thought.
"You're sure you'll settle in alright?" he asks.
"Yeah." She lets out a sound that's halfway between a hiccup and a shout, but they both ignore it and she continues the knot. "It'll be a lot quieter, but it'll give me time to think."
Finnick pictures himself in the Capitol, swallowing tab after tab of Euphoria so that he doesn't have to think, so that he can be the smiling, mindless lover-boy the Capitol desires him to be. "You can always come back to see my sisters when it gets too quiet," he reminds her.
She nods. She stamps her left foot three times, then presses her hands to her ears, squeezing her eyes shut. After a few seconds, she removes her hands, opening her eyes again. "It's almost the reaping, isn't it?" she asks.
He nods. Luckily, they don't have any siblings young enough to be reaped anymore, but they do have cousins, sons and daughters of friends, little kids they see when they visit the shops. Their village in 4 is rather tight-knit, due to everyone gathering at the docks for work and trading, so he knows a fair amount of the kids who will be at the Reaping. He's not surprised this distresses her, he can't blame her at all.
"Yeah, it's in three days. Then it's my usual trip to the Capitol." At first he tried being gentle with her, being vague about his departure, about the Games, but he's found being direct and honest is best. Annie is an adult, just like him, and she's a Victor besides.
"Mags and I might watch," she says, her left foot stomping again. Her right ring finger taps against her knee to match it.
"Sure. But don't force yourself. Even I have to turn it off sometimes." He wonders if she saw Titus a couple years ago, wonders how much of that was broadcast to the rest of Panem. But he'll never ask.
"I'll miss you, Finnick." She finally turns towards him, rope dropped in the sand, and kisses him. Her hair is in waves around him, and it's just Annie, just the sound of the sea and the feel of the sand beneath him and Annie pressed against him, and for a moment, everything is completely fine.
The 74th Games have a true bloodbath, and both of Jo's tributes are killed, as well as Finnick's boy. Eight others are killed besides. Surprisingly, both of Haymitch's tributes make it, so Finnick remains in the booth with Haymitch, Chaff, Gloss, and Brutus, along with a couple of others, while Johanna goes off to get high or do whatever she does when he's not there to entertain her.
And Haymitch sits, and sits, and sits, doing his best to keep his Tributes alive, while Finnick does the same for his girl. Chaff and Haymitch sometimes take naps, one of them manning both the 11 and 12 stations for a bit, but Finnick doesn't really have anyone like that.
"Need a break?"
Johanna comes back in, and he can see the smudges in her makeup, the bruise that looks just a little too hand-shaped on her arm. But he'll have time to ask her about that later, he really is about to collapse from exhaustion. "Yeah," he says, "I would love to get dinner and a nap."
She slips on the headset, sitting down in the chair. "Any pending gifts?" she asks.
"No, but I trust you."
When he wakes up, he realizes he slept longer than he meant to, four hours. He quickly flips on the television in his apartment and it takes a moment to catch up on what's happened, but he realizes that Ripple is dead. Killed under Johanna's watch by Haymitch's Tribute while he was sleeping. He doesn't even know which of them he is most upset with.
He takes the elevator back to the Mentor Lounge, but Johanna is already gone. Haymitch is there and he takes off his headset, as if expecting him, stepping out into the part of the room where Mentors aren't taking calls. "There's nothing she could have done," he says.
He isn't sure if Haymitch is talking about Ripple or Johanna.
"I should have been here," he says.
"You wouldn't have been able to change the outcome, it was tracker jackers."
"Doesn't matter, she was my responsibility. Why didn't she wake me?"
Haymitch sighs, as if realizing Finnick isn't going to budge on this. "She sent an Avox, but you must not have heard the knocking. Did you bolt the door?"
He did. Finnick curses, annoyed at himself for sleeping so heavily, but also at her for… for all of it.
Haymitch seems to read his expression. "Don't go take this out on Johanna. This is three tributes she's lost in one Games, she'll be taking this hard."
Finnick wants to punch Haymitch for the audacity to lecture him about the correct way to deal with losing his last Tribute when Haymitch still has both of his left in the arena. In fact, one of Haymitch's was responsible for Ripple's death. But Haymitch isn't focused on that, he's focused on Johanna. "You're sleeping with her, huh?" he asks, seeing it more clearly now.
Haymitch doesn't outright deny it, which is as much confirmation as Finnick needs.
"Great, awesome, ok."
The night is going from bad to worse. His tributes are dead, he was not present to do anything to try to help, and Johanna and Haymitch are now sleeping together, or perhaps they had been for years. He is too afraid to ask. He pushes past Haymitch to go gather his things.
He finds his station a mess, the seat too low for him, and the outgoing calls filled with requests he didn't make. He scans the log - a gift request soon after sitting down for binoculars, denied. Then a gift request for a dead tracker jacker, granted, but delayed by 30 minutes while they arranged it. She had recognized the threat and wanted to warn Ripple, even as she was allied with other Careers, even with Haymitch's girl right there.
A gift request for the tracker jacker antidote, pending, then a gift request for steel-mesh netting, denied due to cost. She realized this was it, that Ripple would die without this aid, and she was willing to empty the coffers.
Finnick wondered if he would have done anything differently. It was hard to say. How can he say without being the one who was making the calls when his tribute died? He grabs his few possessions from the booth and clears out, but goes to the 7 apartment instead.
Blight answers, in his jacket. "Oh, hello Finnick."
"Hello. Leaving early?"
He nods, his expression dropping. "There's a lot of unrest in 7 right now. Our tributes are out, so I am going back early to try to help keep things from getting out of hand."
Finnick thinks of an old memory of Blight spilling coffee on him, vindictive, but not entirely petty. The man cared about Jo. "Is Jo here?"
Blight nods. "In her room. Sleeping, maybe."
"Have a safe trip back."
He enters Johanna's room and at first doesn't see her, but she's there, on the carpet, her knees to her chest as she leans against her bed. There's a morphling syringe on the carpet beside her and he kicks it out of the way as he sits down. "Jo, what the hell?" he asks, coming to sit beside her. At first he thinks she might be asleep sitting up, but her eyes flutter open, recognition flashing in them.
"Finnick, I didn't mean-" her speech is slow, and it trails off to nothing.
It's so frustrating, how everything is taken from them. Because it is like Haymitch said. The Capitol uses unfair rules, and when you lose, says you should have tried harder. He hates that his tribute died, and obviously, so does Jo, but the Capitol has already moved on, rushing towards the exciting conclusion of these Games. "I know," he says. "It's alright. I know you tried your best."
"I should have-"
"It's alright." It's not. It's a girl's life, a girl who should not be dead, but what else can he say? He needs to reassure Johanna, or else she'll be dead as well.
Without much to do except see clients in the evenings, he spends most of his days with Johanna, watching television, getting high, occasionally checking in on the Games. And still, the Tributes from 11 and 12 are in the running, which is longer than the outer districts have lasted since he's been a Mentor. It's strange, just sitting here, with nothing to do. He still has obligations, Capitolites to entertain, but it's just for appearances, just so Snow doesn't breathe down his neck. There's no impetus to collect sponsor money.
Haymitch, on the other hand, is running himself ragged in the booth, and Chaff as well, though Finnick can tell he takes a hit when his girl is killed. Finnick stops by to drop off a hot meal from the canteen for the both of them, and Chaff is still sitting there, eyes following his boy Tribute, but there's a defeat in his posture, a slowness in his movements.
The Hunger Games goes on a lot longer than Finnick expects, and as it extends beyond two weeks, he begins to feel stir-crazy, begins to wonder how long the Gamemakers might stretch this out. He longs for the sea, to see Annie's face, to get away from the claustrophobic Training Center.
He has his head on Johanna's lap, working the knots on the length of rope he keeps as she rolls a cigarette, the Games on mute, when there's a knock on the door. They're at the 7 apartment, so he doesn't really have a reason to be here, so she nudges him towards her bedroom until she can peek through the peephole. "It's Haymitch," she confirms, and so he returns to the couch.
She lets him in, and Finnick can see the change the last weeks have brought him. He looks sober, or something like it, and he has lost weight. He looks completely exhausted, like he might collapse on Jo's living room floor. "She could win," he says, a satisfied grin showing through despite his haggard appearance.
Finnick finds it interesting that he only mentions the girl, despite his boy tribute making it this far as well.
"Congrats," Jo offers. She nods to the chair that's nearby, and he nearly falls into it. She pours him a drink, silently asking Finnick if he wants one, but he shakes his head no. She returns with just the one glass, hands it to Haymitch and sits back on the couch. Then she returns to rolling her cigarette. Finnick moves his legs across her lap. He suddenly feels possessive of Johanna.
Haymitch drinks half the liquor in one swig, then sets the glass down on the side table, rubbing his hands over his face. "She's going to screw it up," he says, into the echo of his arms.
"The boy," Johanna guesses, and Haymitch nods, frustrated.
"Get Brutus's boy to kill him so she doesn't have to do it herself."
Finnick is struck by the ruthlessness that Johanna is able to talk about these kind of tactics, even if it's to help Haymitch's preferred tribute win a literal death game. Haymitch on the other hand, is unphased. "I thought of that, but it's a dead-end. Too much of a chance she'll be useless in shock, unable to finish the 2 boy off."
"Are they really in love?" Finnick asks, both because he's curious and because he is quickly being left behind in this conversation.
Haymitch grabs the glass again, and finishes the liquor. Johanna nods to the bottle she left up on the counter, and he stands to pour another glass. "Of course not," he says quietly, over the sound of the liquid sloshing. "But it's important that the Capitol thinks they are."
Finnick can understand this. There's definitely an importance of a well-crafted narrative to securing sponsors, though he's not sure how far Haymitch can ride this, since there's only one winner to the Games. "You're afraid she'll kill the 2 boy and then die for your boy tribute," he concludes. He's really not sure what the problem with this is, once again. All deaths in the arena are tragic, but why is Haymitch so much more fond of his girl tribute? "Is she special to you?"
Johanna perks up at this question as well, her gaze moving from the cigarette papers to Haymitch's vacated chair. His voice floated over from behind them. "Not to me. Certain… powers… have an interest in The Girl on Fire."
"Heavensbee?" Johanna asks. "What does he want with her?"
Finnick reaches for the rope that has fallen somewhere in the couch cushions. Why did Johanna know of Plutarch Heavensbee as anything but another Capitolite? Why was Haymitch talking to them both openly about Rebellion plans? Did that mean that Jo also…
"He thinks, should she win, she would be a good symbol." Haymitch's voice cuts through Finnick's catastrophizing. "A volunteer from an outer district, a love story? It's unifying."
Johanna bites her lip before lighting one of her perfectly rolled cigarettes. "What do you need?" she asks. "You've barely left the booth in weeks. You didn't come here just to chat." She leans her head back on the couch as she exhales, so she can just barely glimpse Haymitch from where he stands behind them. Finnick, sitting sideways on the couch, can see him clearly, eyes on the muted TV, watching Katniss sleeping fitfully.
Haymitch comes back to the chair and sits, focusing again on Johanna. "She won't do anything if Peeta is dead. Plutarch says the first phase is starting. I need you to talk to Seneca about love, hell, tell him you love him if you think you can sell it. It's insurance."
"Against what?" Finnick asks. He digs his heels into the couch, pulling Johanna more tightly against him. "Do you realize what the hell you're asking?"
Haymitch sighs. "I do. And I wouldn't ask if I didn't-"
Johanna puts her hand up to stop him, exhales again, and nods. "It's fine. I'll do it. Don't explain it all, it's better if I don't know, to be honest. If it helps end the Hunger Games, I'll help."
"Jo-" Finnick is cut off as well as she matches him with the 'we'll talk about this later' look.
"I need to get back to the booth. Thank you," Haymitch says, leaving.
Finnick watches from a client's bed as Katniss and Peeta make a suicide pact. He and the woman he was paid to sleep with watch enraptured as the two of them prepare to poison themselves to avoid killing each other. Then he watches as the Games end early, with an unprecedented two winners. His client has her hand to her mouth, trying to figure out what this means. He gathers his things, realizing that his stay is over, her reality has just shifted. And so has his. The inception of the rebellion was years ago, but things are finally starting to move.
For years he's been forced to entertain the Capitol elite, as an escort at events, and sexually. Plutarch Heavensbee approached him in his third year, asking him to help expand his information network, to gather secrets that would help challenge Snow's grip on power. It's all he can do in the position he's forced into, so he clung onto the idea of usefulness like a liferaft. But he had no idea Johanna was wrapped up in this too. He supposes that is the life of a spy - to not recognize another.
He walks out of the Capitol townhouse in the same clothes he wore yesterday, preferring to walk the short route back to the Training Center than calling for a car. He didn't know Johanna was involved because he chose not to see it. He chose not to see what she did for Annie during her Games, and he probably missed other signs. He doesn't like to look at Johanna too closely, because he sees someone who he has used, who will never get what she is owed, from himself included. He likes to pay his debts, but how can he ever repay Johanna?
And so he wants to take it out on Haymitch. How could Haymitch ask such a thing of her? To ask the Head Gamemaker to bend the rules for his Tributes, albeit indirectly? Every time Finnick obtained a new secret, he knew the risk. He knew he was trading his freedom, his life, or the lives of the ones he loved in 4 for the possibility of a rebellion. He only grabbed the low-hanging fruit, things that wouldn't implicate him. He only took that which was readily offered.
But Jo - she had to take direct action, things that were traceable back to her. His hands shake as he walks. With rage, with worry. Haymitch just tripled the amount of Victors from 12, but it was on Johanna Mason's back. He wonders if Haymitch and Jo really are lovers, if they have just been on a break as Haymitch has been busy as a Mentor this year. For the first time, he hopes they are, because then at least there might have some parity in their relationship.
As he approaches the Training Center, he wonders what the next stage of Plutarch's plan is. He certainly has fed the rebel leaders plenty of secrets he has gleaned over the years, enough that they should have something to work with if they start moving with the Rebellion. Before he goes inside, he turns Northeast for just a moment, facing the direction he has heard District 13 is in. One day, eventually, he hopes to see it.
As the 75th Games grow closer, Finnick notices Mags on edge more and more. The morning of the reaping, he walks to the house she shares with Annie, knowing they're expected to attend, as Victors.
"Finnick, listen," Mags says. Her voice is intelligible, but in the strange, garbled way that makes Finnick wonder if he only understands because he's spent so much time listening to her over the years. "This year is a Quarter Quell. There's always a twist to those. Just… stay on your toes."
He watches her hobble ahead of him and Annie, steady enough with her cane, and cannot fathom how much she's lived through. He cannot even imagine what the 11th Hunger Games was like, since he's never seen any recording of it, and what it means to have seen 63 Hunger Games since.
"Finnick, I-" Annie seems to pause at the cusp of something, but she settles for holding his hand instead. He wonders if she was about to say she loves him, and if so, he understands. He has felt moments away from saying the same, and then paused, whether he felt he wasn't ready to say such a thing out loud, or because putting such a sentiment into the universe might give the Capitol reason to take it away. He squeezes her hand instead, a gesture that, just for this morning, could be excused as two Victors sharing memories on the morning of another reaping.
But this reaping quickly, quickly falls apart. Nova announces the conceit of the Quarter Quell: a Hunger Games with only prior Victors, and Finnick can feel the bottom drop out. He knows he's on television, he needs to maintain his composure, but between the idea of himself possibly returning to the arena, and Annie possibly returning to the arena, he can't breathe. He knows this must be a punishment from Snow, he just doesn't know what he did.
Johanna.
She asked Seneca Crane to spare two Victors last Games. She is the only female Victor in 7. Snow's punishment is obviously to send her back into the arena, only for some reason, everyone else is being punished along with her. And as he listens to Nova's words, he understands. "So that you remember that even the strongest among you cannot overcome the power of the Capitol," she recites.
They are herded forward, 4 males and 2 females. The children are chattering now, relieved that they have avoided the arena for a year. Careers they may be, but they do not want to die. A hush passes over as Nova reaches into the ball to reap the female name. "Annie Cresta!"
Immediately, Annie's hands are to her ears, rejecting reality. And immediately, Mags is shouting. "I volunteer!"
Finnick isn't sure this is any better. Annie perhaps had a small chance, Mags is going to die. But already Nova is moving to the other ball of names, and despite the three other Victors besides him, he is almost certain all four of the slips bear his name. "Finnick Odair!" she calls. No one volunteers for him.
Finnick doesn't remember saying goodbye to Annie. He doesn't remember hugging his sisters or his parents. He barely remembers his last swim in the ocean. He regrets that now, as he sits on the train as it churns along back to the Capitol, Mags beside him. It's almost like a normal year, going back to be Mentors, except it's his worst nightmare. He had thought he was living a nightmare, but leave it to Snow to show him things could always get worse.
"Who will be the Mentors?" he asks Nova, Mags.
"Lido is in the next compartment, he's coming along to serve as Mentor this year."
Lido was another Victor, and he and Finnick got along, but he never stepped up after Mags' health declined, leaving Finnick to go by himself each year, so he felt more than a little resentment that he had a man with no contacts, no sponsor sway, coming to help him in the arena. At least it isn't Annie, he thinks.
When he arrives, he wants to find Johanna, or maybe Haymitch, whoever he can find first so he can punch one of them for sending everyone to their deaths. But it's Plutarch Heavensbee who finds him first, pulling him into an elevator and then quickly pulling the hold button. Finnick stands ahead of the rebel leader, still following elevator etiquette despite them now having an unofficial meeting.
"Welcome to my first Hunger Games," Plutarch greets, though his tone is more serious than Finnick has ever heard it.
"What? What happened to Seneca Crane?"
Plutarch chuckles lowly. "Oh, Snow didn't like that two winners thing at all, he's been let go."
Finnick clenches. Dead then. "Not soon enough to prevent this mess," he says.
"Oh, the Quarter Quell? This was my idea."
Now Finnick rounds on him, pinning him to the back of the elevator. The lights are dim, but he can see the panic on Plutarch's face. He doesn't really care if the man can breathe, since he sounds like a loyalist. "You're going to get us all killed for your plan? I'm beginning to doubt your loyalty. Tell my why I shouldn't report you to Snow right now."
"I'm going to get you out. All of you. Or, as many as I can. You have to survive the bloodbath. District… 13 is sending help. Make an alliance with Haymitch. He… has the details."
Finnick releases Plutarch, and after collecting himself, the Gamemaker turns the elevator back on. Finnick leaves on the 4th floor, and doesn't check where Putarch is heading. Finnick nearly falls onto the bed in his apartment. Plutarch designed the Quarter Quell? Johanna's interference wasn't related to him being back in the arena. She helped to safely get Haymitch's Tributes both out alive, indirectly got Plutarch to the top Gamemaker spot, and yet they were still back here, about to go into the arena again. He wants to scream.
Haymitch had been clear in his directions, and Finnick understood that Plutarch intended to end the Games early and save them, but there was a difference between the talk, the planning and… actually being in the arena. He had made his peace with the plan - understood that the Mockingjay was the priority, that if he dies, it is alright as long as she lives, and the idea of the Rebellion can live, but he forgot what it is like, when he is actually faced with death.
He can remember watching the Games since his own and intermittently being horrified at what he has seen - at one Tribute murdering another with a brick, at Titus, overcome with adrenaline, putting another tribute's blood to his lips. Even at Johanna taking her axe to someone's throat. But how could he fault them - he who ran several Tributes - several Children - through with a fucking trident at 14 years old? Now that he's down here, on the ground, he knows he will kill if he has to, with his bare hands if he has to. For himself, for Katniss, or for Johanna.
He misses her, and he regrets that they were separated at the Cornucopia, but he has the pair from 12, and she has the pair from 3, and he can only hope they'll find each other again before the Career alliance does. Katniss is young, and prudish, and she doesn't like Johanna based entirely on her getting nude in front of them once, he's pretty certain, but Katniss will have to learn to live with Johanna, because she's helped save her life once and she's here to do it again.
They're resting now, Mags from pure exhaustion and Peeta from his near death experience, but Katniss sounds the alarm as a fog rolls in. "Go, go, we need to go!" she shouts, hissing as her skin reddens enough that he can see it. Peeta gets up, slow and unsteady, but he gets better with each step, and soon he's moving along with Katniss. Finnick helps Mags up, and she's light - skin and bones, really - but she resists his attempt to pick her up, turning back to the fog. "I love you. Take care of Annie, please," she says, and turns back into the fog.
It's the last words he ever hears from her, and he doesn't even have a reply. He feels tugging at his sleeve as the two from 12 drag him along, nearly tripping over roots further and further until they're gone, and he's out of breath from running but he can't comprehend what just happened. He's known Mags as long as he's known his family. She's… gone.
Peeta drags him into the lake, to clean off whatever poison gas was in the fog. It feels good, to float in the water, to turn off his thoughts for a moment, and he swims out further than the others, and stays in longer than them. He knows he needs to keep them alive, but he needs a few minutes, just a few, to process Mags' death.
The water is cool, and feels good against his singed skin, but he can't shake the terror of being back in the arena, and the horror of understanding now, what being seen by all of Panem is truly like. He wants to grieve, he wants to relax for just a moment, but he can't, when he knows thousands of people are watching his every move.
He is interrupted by a shriek, and he sees Katniss and Peeta facing up against mutts on the shore.
When the blood-covered trio arrive on the beach, Finnick takes a moment to place Johanna - even in her own Games, he has never seen her completely covered in blood. For a moment he panics, thinking it might be hers, but realizes if that were the case, there is no way she could be dragging anyone else.
He does what feels natural, what he would want in that situation - the refreshing feel of cleaning off in the water. He forgets, of course, that Johanna is not from 4, that Johanna probably can't even swim. So he holds her up in the water, helping her rub drying blood off of herself, as Katniss and Peeta preen over Wiress and Beetee.
"What happened?" he asks her, quietly, hoping their conversation won't be broadcast to all of Panem.
"Blight hit the forcefield. He's dead." She grabs onto his hand under the water, then lets it go, lest the cameras pick it up. She splashes water on her face, scrubbing the blood off, and he can see her again.
"Mags is dead too," he confirms.
"Shit, I'm sorry Finnick."
He knows she means it, too. He's not sure if he's ever heard her say sorry before. "Elin was heading your way, did she-"
"Dead. Saving Peeta." He saw the gory hole in her chest from the monkey mutt, but doesn't mention it.
She sighs, wrapping her arms around herself in the water. He has no choice but to grab her waist, to hold her up. It's this that seems to really take the wind out of her sails, though he didn't think she was particularly close with the woman from 6. She shakes her head, clearing it a bit. "Katniss really doesn't like me, huh?" she asks.
He smiles. "No, you didn't make a great impression on her, it seems."
She rinses her hair of the blood, and then they both make their way back toward the beach. "Should make the end of the Games easier, at least," she says.
He wonders how he ever missed that she was a spy.
After the Jabberjays, Finnick can't calm down. He doesn't care that all of Panem just watched him lose his mind, though after being a Mentor, he can't do anything in the Games without thinking about how it will look on television.
He lays down with Annie's screams echoing in his ears, unable to convince himself that they're just simulations. The Jabberjays are gone, but the memories are fresh and raw. If he never sees Annie again, this is all he'll have left.
Johanna comes and lays down beside him, and he doesn't think before pulling her close to him. "Is it true, what you said?" he says, into the back of her neck. "That there's no one you care about?"
She shrugs. He has a distant memory of them, much younger, him on his knees before her, and her calling him a leash. Perhaps, years later, she's broken it. "Of course it's not true," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "But they can only torture you with people they know you care for."
"So they're probably crafting a new Finnick jabberjay for you right now," he whispers back.
"Yeah, thanks a lot." Her tone is sarcastic, but he can feel her smiling.
He wonders about her and Haymitch. She hasn't mentioned him, and so Finnick won't either, but in all the planning, he didn't see them interact at all. It felt as though Haymitch had a new thing to focus on: Katniss, and no time for Johanna, and Johanna seemed like that was fine: that if Haymitch wasn't going to choose her, she wasn't going to insist.
So instead he just settles down to sleep, his arm around her, certain that the next day would either be their salvation or their death.