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“Ah, I guess Sarazashi will be here, huh?” Claudine leaned against the window of the plane, gazing down at Korea as they approached in their landing. Maya sat beside her, just two seats on each side of the aisle.
Claudine’s offhand comment caused Maya to shiver. It was the Asian Fashion Week, of course a traditional Japanese company like Sarazashi would have a showing at this event, even if they didn’t host runways at events like Paris or Tokyo Fashion Week. But Maya was unprepared. Somehow, this had been a huge oversight. She did not anticipate facing her mother while she was in Korea.
It wasn’t as if they didn’t get along, it was just… this would be her first time facing up to her mother since she had entered the industry. It wasn’t as if Maya had been avoiding her mother. It was more like… well, she didn’t feel like exploring those thoughts, right now.
“Mm,” said Maya, noncommittally. She supposed this answer would suffice, it was rather early in the morning. Claudine probably didn’t expect full sentences from her at this point.
“Sarazashi, Siegfeld, probably even that fashion house Frontier works with… that Western style one… What are they called? …Showtime? It’ll be a regular reunion.”
“Did you know all these people from before?” asked Maya, mostly to get her mind off of her mother.
Claudine shook her head. “I have walked at this show before, but the runway for children and teen fashion is completely separate. I just meant that we hear about these models and fashion houses all the time, but we never really see each other.” She paused for a moment, considering. “Though I wonder if she is still working…”
They landed soon after weaving through the busy airport. Kaoruko had ordered a service to move all of their luggage and equipment to the hotel and the venue, so Maya only had to hold her small carry-on bag as she walked through the airport, noting, however, the dozens of fans waiting for their arrival. Though it was nothing like Paris- these fans were not professional paparazzi, but rather just regular people who had come to the airport to catch a glimpse of their favorite models or designers, and they did not encroach on their party at all- it was still surprising to see so many people after just getting off the plane. It made Maya appreciate that she bothered to dress well and do makeup for such an early flight.
Maya wanted to grab Claudine’s hand, but resisted the urge, lest someone capture a photo of them holding hands. Beyond Maya’s stress about seeing her mother, Maya was becoming increasingly stressed about her relationship with Claudine. She had come to terms with her attachment to Claudine – that this was inevitable and irresistible, but now she did not know where they stood. They held hands from time to time, but Karen also would hold Maya’s hand as she pulled her along to the next meeting. Maya shook her head. She wasn’t so naïve as to believe that holding hands with Claudine was the same as holding hands with Karen. She knew that to Karen, holding hands with Maya was not the same as holding hands with Mahiru or Hikari. Even someone as inexperienced in relationships as she was could tell that much.
But where exactly that left Claudine and Maya – she was unsure. Was she meant to try to get closer? Claudine could be prickly, but ultimately, she had a good heart. Was Maya meant to just enjoy where they were in their relationship? Good friends, rivals, partners? That seemed to be acceptable to Maya, until she imagined anyone else becoming closer to Claudine than herself. A vice seemed to grip at her heart – a strange jealousy that she didn’t even know she was capable of. Since when had she cared so much? For what reason did she care so much? Did Claudine feel even a fraction of what Maya felt in return?
Seoul was nice, and their hotel was clean and modern. This trip was shorter than the trip to Paris, but the flight was shorter as well – it was more of a long weekend than anything. The day of arrival was a rehearsal, the following day was the show, the next day was a tourism day, and the following morning they returned home. Perhaps Maya wouldn’t see her mother at all. This thought crossed her mind, and disappeared as she walked back to the lobby with Claudine to get a ride to the venue for their rehearsal and found herself face to face with Tendo Yuko.
Of course the show would put a lot of the Japanese guests in the same hotel, she supposed. It was only a matter of time.
“Maya!” her mother chirped, her hair done perfectly, as always, her suit pressed and perfect. “Come here.” The creative director of Sarazashi stood in the lobby of the hotel, looking every bit her role, not an ounce of motherly affection in her tone.
As if drawn by a magnetic force, Maya presented herself before her mother, holding herself up with perfect posture. Claudine, who had been accompanying her out to the car, had no choice but to follow along. Maya wondered if they had met – Claudine’s career was certainly long enough for her to have encountered Tendo Yuko in the past.
“Mother,” Maya said in greeting, “Have you met Saijou Claudine? She’s my partner at the company.”
“Good afternoon, Tendo-san,” Claudine said, her tone formal, but not demure.
“Ah, yes, it’s hard to forget hair and eyes like yours, even after so many years,” her mother said. “Please treat Maya well.” She looked at them both, but continued speaking just to Maya. “I saw your show a couple weeks ago. Your father and I were both impressed.”
Maya felt a strange sensation of warmth flood her insides at the acknowledgement from her mother. “Thank you,” she said, trying to sound more confident than she felt. A part of her, deep in her heart, knew the truth that she was not ready to admit. She was afraid her parents would disapprove of her ‘mainstream’ pathway into the industry, rather than selecting a career in the more traditional realm of kimono or other traditional Japanese clothing. However, she knew from observing her mother’s career that though this was a way to garner tremendous respect, this was not the way to the ‘Top’.
“Keep it up,” her mother intoned. “It’s hard to get to the top, but even harder to stay there.”
“Of course.”
“Well, I’m sure you have a schedule to keep. Perhaps we will see each other again. Goodbye for now.”
And as curtly as she arrived, Tendo Yuko was off, rejoining some staff from her company at the hotel bar.
Claudine shot Maya a sharp gaze but spared her a comment. They both rode to the venue in relative silence. Despite Maya’s complicated feelings about her mother, however, Tendo Yuko had certainly carved a niche for herself. All of Maya’s early life, Tendo Yuko was forging ahead with Sarazashi, busy with her designs and her planning and the company. Maya was often left with her father, and they occupied themselves with the theater, and museums, and the arts and history. Perhaps this was the reason Maya got her degree in history. Well that, and the fact that she wanted to strive for the Top in some area. Now, thrust back into her mother’s orbit, she couldn’t fail.
The rehearsal for the Seoul show went well, with all the lessons from Paris taken to heart. Every cable was double checked and taped down, every camera was checked to be in good condition, and the security presence was much more active. Backstage, various models from all over Asia were buzzing about, speaking in various languages, and sporting every sort of design from Western fashion to traditional Asian fashions to modern, experimental looks to couture and everything in between. HANA shared a dressing room with Showtime, and next door was Siegfeld and Sarazashi, perhaps in an effort to keep the Japanese models close together.
Maya had never met the Frontier models who had won the multi–year Showtime contract, but they were outgoing and very cute, sporting bold colors and a California-type look that Maya found very flattering. From the limited interaction she had, the Frontier models were very laid back, spending time playing cards or snacking while waiting for their turn with rehearsals.
“Oh, Shizuha, look!” A blonde model, sitting on the couch beside a taller, dark haired model who was working in a puzzle book pointed out Maya and Claudine as they settled their things down for the rehearsal, waiting for the stylists to unpack all the hair and makeup products. Despite this being a rehearsal, Maya knew there would be some press allowed in, so it was necessary to look her best, as always.
The girl addressed as Shizuha looked up, a look of familiarity dawning on her features upon seeing Claudine. “Saijou-san,” she said, closing the book with her pencil inside to hold her page. “I had heard that you were working again.”
Shizuha was pretty, Maya noticed at once. With long, wavy hair and feminine curves, she would look perfect in Showtime’s beachy, bohemian looks. But more than that, she carried herself in the same way Claudine did - with the weight of experience. She seemed to have the same combination of grace and trepidation on her features that Claudine did, though Claudine did better to hide her world weariness when working.
“Shizuha,” Claudine greeted her. “I was just wondering if you would be here. Frontier is a new agency, no?”
Shizuha nodded. The second Frontier model, the blonde, came to sit closer, but the others were busy getting their makeup done. “Yes, when you and I met, I modeled for Papillon, and then another contract, before taking a break for a year. Then I took this contract with Frontier just after the agency began, and joined with Aruru-chan here, along with Tsukasa and Misora-chan,” she said, gesturing to a couple of the models across the dressing room. “I had started to get really burnt out.”
Claudine nodded. “Yachiyo left to pursue design, you and I took breaks. Akira’s still going, but she was doing ballet as a child, not modeling. It seems like no one can keep it up from childhood to adulthood,” she said.
“Our manager, Lalafin, I think she could have done it and not lost her mind,” Shizuha said. “She was successful as a child model. But she stopped growing.” She nodded her head towards where a cheerful girl was assisting the stylists with preparations, a rabbit-patterned dress bustling here and there. “She still does lolita shoots now and then.”
“Oh, yes! Lalafin! I remember her. We both got scolded when we were about eight because our Japanese was poor. I’ll have to say hello.” Claudine let out a low laugh. “It really is funny though… The one with the most fortitude just doesn’t have the height. Cruel.”
Maya listened attentively to this conversation, trying to gain insight into the world of Saijou Claudine. She couldn’t imagine them growing up in much more different environments if she tried, with Claudine modeling and working independently before age ten, and Maya spending days with her father, exploring the history of Japan, and studying… always studying. Maya wondered if Claudine was insinuating something else with her last phrase, or if she truly believed that she ‘lacked fortitude’. The thought was curious to Maya, as she watched Claudine strive to give her absolute best daily.
Soon enough it was time for Maya and Claudine to get ready, and Shizuha returned to her puzzle book, and Aruru set up a card game with the other models Shizuha had pointed out earlier, with Karen joining in as well when they needed a fourth. Maya expected Shizuha to join, but instead she dashed about with Lalafin, the two of them making last-minute adjustments for the show. “She seems busy,” Maya commented to Claudine, when it was finally just the two of them walking to the backstage area.
“Shizuha? She’s always been that way. She’s the motherly type to begin with, but from what i’ve heard, Showtime is a bit of a mess right now…”
“What do you mean?”
“Yachiyo was telling me… Their creative director, some guy named Andrew, he spends all his time in California and never bothers to support them with their fashion week events. So it’s up to managers like Lalafin, and even the models themselves to make sure the runways go smoothly.”
“Seriously? What a nightmare. Why even-”
“Because it’s a contract, Maya,” Claudine cut her off curtly. “If the runway goes badly, everyone will look unfavorably on the Frontier models and not want to hire them for other projects, regardless of the mismanagement. And because… well of course they want to put on a good show. I can’t even imagine the stress, though…”
After the rehearsal, Kaoruko sent them home to sleep for the show, with promises to order plenty of food to their rooms. Unlike with the other Fashion Weeks, this last show did not have mandatory party events, for which Maya was very grateful. She took a shower, grateful for the moments of relaxation in the hot water, before emerging from the bathroom in a nightgown and robe to find Claudine asleep on the bed. Maya sat beside her, intending to wake her up, but instead spending several moments watching Claudine sleep.
Finally, realizing that Claudine probably wanted to shower before eating as well, she gently shook her awake. To her surprise, however, Maya found her arm grabbed by Claudine’s, and found herself pulled down onto the bed. “Come lay down,” Claudine said, her voice thick with sleep.
Maya found herself laying beside Claudine, facing her, altogether too close, on that hotel bed. Their arms were entwined, and Claudine’s hair brushed against Maya’s shoulder. Maya closed her eyes and breathed in the scent that was so distinctly Claudine, relaxing slightly from the stiff position she initially found herself in.
When she next woke, it was Claudine shaking Maya awake. Claudine’s makeup was a little smudged, and the side of her face was red from sleeping on it, but the sight still made Maya smile. “Go get the food from the delivery person. I don’t want to open the door like this,” Claudine said. That was all she said - there was no comment on their nap together, or how it came to be. Maya did as she was told, and set up the meal as Claudine showered.
They ate without much conversation, and slept early (this time in separate beds). They returned to the venue around noon the next day, as the fashion show was set to take the better part of the afternoon and evening between two stages, with HANA’s final Eclipse show running at 4. This show had the added pressure of being the only one streamed online, so there would be many fans and industry representatives watching live and forming opinions, and the recording would be shared on SNS quite extensively in certain circles, Maya was sure.
Somehow, due to arriving four hours before they were set to walk, Maya and Claudine found themselves in the dressing room next door, after having their makeup and hair done initially after arrival. Yachiyo had come by to invite Maya and Claudine to their dressing room to watch the runway where it was being broadcast on the livestream on a large television, and after some arranging, Koharu, Aruru, Misora, and Tsukasa decided to come along as well. Suzu and Hisame decided to stay with Nana and Mahiru, and Shizuha and Lalafin continued to assist with Showtime’s last minute preparations.
The six newcomers were greeted among the Siegfeld circle of Akira, Michiru, Shiori, and Liu Mei Fan. Carefully, they pulled up chairs and squeezed into the Siegfeld designated area. Maya watched as Claudine slipped into a spot next to Shiori, which surprised her, as she thought she would have selected a seat near Yachiyo.
“What’s wrong?” Claudine asked quietly.
“I haven’t seen her since… well, in a long time…Fumi, that is,” Shiori said, glancing toward the Sarazashi half of the dressing room.
The show had begun, and various models were taking to the stage, and Yachiyo and Michiru at once began commenting on design choices. Maya’s attention was stolen by Hikari and Karen nervously entering the room - the guests now highly outnumbering the hosts - and Karen giving Hikari a light shove. “Go on,” she said.
“Ah, hello,” Hikari said to Michiru. “I’m Kagura Hikari of HANA Fashion House. I… I am a huge fan of Hierophant. I wanted to meet you…”
With a wink at Maya and Claudine, Karen backed out of the room, leaving Hikari alone facing the Siegfeld staff. “Kagura-san, please, call me Michiru. Would you like to watch the show with us?”
Hkari nodded and came to sit beside Michru, and they all settled down again, the designers chatting about the fashion, and the models occasionally taking part, but mostly chatting about the industry or unrelated matters.
“Are you going to say hello?” asked Claudine, nudging Shiori to get her back on topic. Maya had her eyes fixed on the screen, but was listening in on Claudine’s conversation.
“I- oh, she’s coming this way!”
“Shiori, it’s been a while,” said a girl in a Sarazashi kimono who Maya assumed was Fumi Yumeoji. Her voice betrayed no emotion, she was merely stating fact.
“Onee-chan,” she said softly. Shiori looked as if she didn’t know where to begin their conversation.
“Why don’t we move out in the hall and talk?” suggested Claudine.
Fumi raised her eyebrow, as if wondering why this third party was inserting herself into their family drama, but Shiori nodded, agreeing. As if deciding to deal with the interloper once out of sight of the others, the three slipped from the room. Maya watched them go, and watched as Akira seemed to make a motion to get up as well.
“Now, now, you two,” Yachiyo said, turning around to face Maya and Akira. “Let’s let those three work it out. I’m sure they can do it themselves.”
Akira looked as if she wanted to protest, but seemed content to stay put as long as Maya did. A moment later, however, they were disturbed again by another visitor from the Sarazashi side of the room. She was a lovely-looking girl in a kimono once again, with long, straight dark hair and perfect posture - a true yamato nadeshiko.
“Ara, all these HANA staff, and no Hanayagi-san? What a shame.”
Michiru didn’t even look up from the screen before replying. “She’s next door, Tamao-chan.”
Suddenly, an inkling of recognition clicked in Maya’s mind. She could recall memories of her mother mentioning “Tomoe Tamao-san, the most lovely model has renewed for another season,” or “Tamao-san was saying yesterday that her uncle’s distributors in Kyoto say everything is going smoothly.” Tomoe Tamao was the golden child of her mother’s empire, and it was easy to see why.
Heeding Michiru’s words, Tamao continued on to the HANA dressing room, and they continued watching. At some point, Claudine and the sisters came back, and though Claudine looked content, she was a professional at masking her emotions. Maya could see Shiori had been crying, though she perhaps looked slightly more relieved, and Fumi immediately moved back to the Sarazashi side, so it was difficult to read her expression. Shiori took the vacant seat beside Akira, whispering to her and leaving Claudine with Maya. “Let’s go back,” said Claudine. “I need to fix my makeup.”
They slipped from the room, passing by a few other Rinmeikan models. There was one sleeping on a couch (luckily she hadn’t yet changed into a kimono yet), and two using an empty corner to take selfies for social media: one making cute poses like one might see an idol use, and the other crouching low to take the photo from the correct angle. “Rui, get up, you’ll wrinkle the kimono like that,” Maya heard her mother chide. She hadn’t even seen her, sitting in a chair at the counter, reviewing something on her tablet.
The girl, Rui, stood up quickly, and a stylist came by to help smooth out the kimono. Maya and Claudine slipped out of the room before Tendo Yuko could want anything to do with them.
Back in their dressing room, the chaos seemed to be just as great. Tamao seemed to be the bane of Kaoruko’s existence, from the way she was chasing her around, telling her about the various merits she was earning back in their shared hometown. In Maya’s opinion, being a clothing designer of international renown was greater than modeling kimono, no matter for whom, but she supposed she did not know the ways of traditional Kyoto families.
Additionally, Shizuha and Lalafin, and now Aruru as well, were running about with preparations for their runway, which seemed to be rather high tech and complicated. Maya hadn’t even seen Aruru leave the other dressing room, but she supposed there had been a lot of distractions. So, once Claudine had her makeup adjusted, they let Mahiru know they were stepping out and would check in with her just before it was time to go backstage. Wrapped in a robe over her first dress, Maya walked with Claudine down the corridor to a small open area just inside a stairwell, likely some sort of fire escape.
“Are you alright?” Claudine asked, straightening out a bit of Maya’s long ponytail. She was similar to Shizuha in more ways than she probably noticed, Maya thought.
“I’m fine, what about you?” she asked.
“Of course I’m fine!” Claudine said, sounding a little indignant. “I just thought, with your mom, and with meeting so many people, this trip was a little more overwhelming than the last. But I’m glad you’re fine.”
“You are always worrying, Claudine, I appreciate that,” said Maya. She wanted to add more, to tell Claudine how she wanted Claudine to allow Maya to worry about her, or how all the little things Claudine did didn’t escape Maya’s notice, but Claudine was standing too close to her in that small, deserted corner. They were both in their slippers, but Maya still stood a couple centimeters taller than Claudine, and she could see Claudine staring back at her, her chin tilted just slightly upward with a questioning sort of gaze. Her robe was open a bit, revealing Hikari’s beautiful creation, the black dress with the golden chains, Claudine’s breasts swelling right against the top. Maya brought her gaze back upward, to Claudine’s perfect lips.
“What are you looking at, Tendo Maya?” she asked, a hint of a challenge in her words. She bit her lip, her eyes, as well, darting between Maya’s eyes and lips.
“Only you, Claudine,” she answered.
And she was unable to resist, even if she wanted to. She leaned down to close the small distance between them, pressing their lips together. After a moment, she felt Claudine step closer and she wrapped her arms around her, both to support her and to feel more of Claudine. She was greedy, she was possessive. The moment she tasted Claudine, she knew it wasn’t enough, she wanted more.
Claudine opened her lips, allowing Maya’s tongue entry. To her surprise, Claudine shifted their momentum, her tongue pushing into Maya’s mouth and her weight pressing against Maya as she deepened their kiss. Feeling unsteady from the lack of oxygen and a rush of blood to her head, Maya stepped back, her back coming to rest against the closest wall in the stairwell. She broke the kiss to double check that they were out of sight of any staff and checked for security cameras, and then leaned in again, sighing in content as she felt Claudine reach between her and the wall to grab onto the parts of her back that were exposed in the dress.
She longed to run her fingers through Claudine’s hair, but it was tucked up in the perfectly styled bun. She longed to caress Claudine’s cheek, but it was covered in meticulously applied makeup. She longed to run her hands along Claudine’s entire body, but she didn’t know what Claudine was ok with, and she thought that it was unbecoming to set boundaries in the emergency stairwell of some random building in Seoul, twenty minutes before a runway show.
Claudine pulled away, as if sensing Maya’s wandering thoughts. She was still trapped between Maya and the wall, an intimate position that seemed to color her cheeks red. “We should… pull ourselves together so we can look proper when we get back to the dressing room before final call,” she said, her voice lower than Maya had heard it before.
They leaned beside each other in the stairwell, waiting for their heart rates to calm down and for any evidence of their intimacy to subside before turning themselves back over to the stylists to once again fix their makeup and hair. “That was-”
“Something we can talk about tonight,” Claudine said, cutting Maya off. “I’ll go back first.”
The final Eclipse runway began before Maya knew it, and with the knowledge that she was being streamed live to her peers and to strangers worldwide, Maya took to the runway with her usual confidence, not allowing herself to feel nervous. If Claudine held herself with her usual professional demeanor, and everyone at HANA was giving their best effort, then Maya was certainly going to do the same.
With each step down the runway, with each change of outfit, she held herself prouder, tried to show off the designs more, and walked with greater confidence. Each moment she had to stop and breathe, she remembered her kiss with Claudine and she felt her chest fill with excitement. Claudine shared at least some semblance of the feelings Maya held for her.
Finally, the show ended, and the stage began transforming for Showtime's runway. The HANA crew moved back to the dressing room, where they were met with applause from all of the staff who had been waiting and watching on screen, along with a few friends like Yachiyo and- "Sensei!"
Claudine called out to Souda-sensei, who to Maya's surprise was waiting beside Yachiyo.
"Kuro-chan!" Sensei called out, sounding familiar with Claudine. Maya remembered Claudine saying she knew Souda-sensei from when Sensei was an active model, so she supposed it made sense. “Maya-san, as well, great job!”
Claudine moved over to greet Sensei, and Junna entered with a cake, Karen filming. “To all the staff, photographers, models, planners, designers… here’s to the end of fall runway!” she said.
Suddenly, there was the distinct popping of champagne, and the cake was being sliced, and a flurry of movement in the dressing room as the stylists and crew were returning from backstage, and then the photographers and Mahiru and Kaoruko. Someone helped Maya out of her dress, and she saw Claudine and the Seiran models getting changed as well.
Maya was handed a slice of cake and a glass of champagne, and she sat on the couch in the dressing room beside Koharu to watch the Showtime runway. She wanted to talk to Claudine, to establish what exactly happened between them in the stairwell, but Claudine was busy catching up with Yachiyo and Sensei, so she didn’t want to disturb her.
As she ate the cake, Maya watched the Showtime girls take to the stage. A mellow, English-speaking female singer played as ocean-sounds set the atmosphere, and sunset colors splashed onto the runway itself, though the higher parts of the runway remained well-let to see the clothing. The audience slipped on some sort of high tech glasses to watch the show, and the models emerged.
Aruru came out first, in wide-legged pants and a crocheted top, with Shizuha following in a ‘70s-themed shirt with long bell sleeves and a v-neck, and a suede mini-skirt. Tsukasa followed in a sheer kimono printed with camellia flowers over a bandeau top and jeans, her hair tied back with a bandana, and Misora followed with a flowing sundress in yellow, with a woven leather belt and chunky wooden jewelry. It was a completely different vibe than the HANA show, and yet Maya could understand why this company was making a splash in Japan’s fashion scene.
“I hear those glasses have some sort of augmented reality feature,” said Koharu, one of the few actually watching the runway stream with Maya, the rest of the HANA party choosing to socialize.
“I wonder what the show looks like through the glasses, then,” mused Maya.
Koharu shrugged, sipping her champagne with grace. “They look great as-is, I can’t imagine.”
They watched a bit more, until Claudine came to sit beside Maya, and Maya could see Souda-sensei now in conversation with Kaoruko.
“Aren’t you going to eat your cake?” Claudine asked, nodding toward Maya’s untouched plate. Claudine herself was eating her cake, sitting comfortably with her legs tucked under her on the couch, dressed now in an oversized sweatshirt and athletic shorts.
“Of course, I was distracted by the runway,” said Maya, now picking up the artfully decorated cake. Taking her first bite, she could feel Claudine’s gaze on her lips, and could feel herself blushing lightly. She willed herself to look away from Claudine, away from the perfect lips taking bites of the perfect cake, and turned back to her other side, to Koharu.
“What are you working on now that this contract is over?” Maya asked her.
“Yes, we’ll miss seeing you and Hisame and Suzu every day,” Claudine added.
“I’m not sure about those two, but I’m taking a job with Blue Glitter, the loungewear company. I’m going home for a little while, until after the new year, though. Say, Tendo-san, they were talking about needing extra models for a few shoots if you have a couple days off and wanted to make a little extra money.”
Maya considered this. Per her contract with HANA, she was allowed to take other work, as long as it was cleared with HANA first and wasn’t associated with any long term contract or agency. Still, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to take on more work at this time, without receiving her winter schedule. “I’ll have to take a look with my agent and get back to you. Please send me the information, Yanagi-san.”
Turning back to take a sip of champagne, Maya caught a pointed glance from Claudine, but Claudine looked away before Maya could gauge the meaning behind it. Soon enough, they were interrupted by Karen, who wanted them to take a post-show selfie that she could then post on social media. Begrudgingly, Claudine agreed, though she made Maya re-take the photo about three times.
Finally, they packed up their possessions and moved to a restaurant. The day seemed endless, and Maya didn’t remember much of dinner, both because she was exhausted, and because she became distracted every time she saw the blonde hair at the next table swishing a bit as Claudine took a bite. It also didn’t help that Kaoruko had ordered them ample amounts of soju, and Maya wasn’t exactly sober. She knew she was sitting with Kaoruko, Futaba, Nana, and Junna, but she hadn't been following the conversation at all, her eyes drifting constantly to the other table.
“Honestly, Tendo-han, if you’re that uncomfortable being away from Kuro-han for one hour, you may have a problem,” said Kaoruko, sipping plum wine with an appraising look on her face.
Maya had the state of mind to blush, but felt too inebriated and exhausted to come up with much of an excuse. Nana smiled politely at her. “Kaoruko,” Nana offered on Maya’s behalf, “Perhaps Maya is just concerned for Kuro-chan.”
Futaba looked between the two HANA models. “Is something wrong with Kuroko?” she asked.
“Something’s always wrong, but it’s nothing new,” Kaoruko said, rolling her eyes. She took another sip of her wine. “Maya knows that too. She’s just.. Admiring,” Kaoruko said, with a smirk.
Junna looked at Maya, as if waiting for her to protest this egregious suggestion, but Maya was too tired, and honestly, in a way, Kaoruko wasn’t wrong.
“Good idea, Maya,” said Futaba, with a knowing look. “Just ignore her. If you protest, she just doubles down.”
Somehow, Maya made it through the rest of the dinner unscathed and only slightly drunk, and traveled with the others back to the hotel. Slowly, unsteadily, she made it back to her hotel room, Futaba ensuring she made it back safely. To her surprise, she was alone when she returned. Claudine had left in the other car with Karen, Mahiru, and Hikari, so she supposed Mahiru would ensure she returned to the room safely.
Exhausted from the day and certain she could use it, Maya stepped into the shower, not trusting herself to soak in the tub after drinking. When she finished, she brushed her teeth and combed out her hair, and left the bathroom for the bedroom of the hotel room wrapped only in her towel to find her nightgown. To her surprise, or perhaps not, Claudine was on the bed, scrolling through her phone, looking amused as Maya approached her suitcase.
“Do you need help drying your hair, you lush?” she teased, a wry smile on her face.
“I certainly wouldn’t complain,” said Maya, slipping out of her towel and into the nightgown, unsure if Claudine’s gaze was on her. She grabbed the water bottle she had left on the nightstand and took a few long swigs to try to help sober up, and found herself seated on the edge of the bed as Claudine plugged the hair dryer in, kneeling behind her on the bed.
Claudine dried her hair, combing it gently, her fingers helping to separate the strands and brushing against Maya’s neck. Despite the heat from the dryer, Maya could feel shivers on her scalp. And then, after what seemed like no time at all, Maya’s hair was tucked, dry, over one shoulder, the dryer was switched off and set aside, and Claudine remained kneeling behind Maya on the bed, impossibly close.
Claudine reached forward, embracing Maya from behind. Maya didn’t dare move, didn’t dare to do anything to make Claudine think that she didn’t want this affection. Instead, she closed her eyes, feeling the pressure of the arms reaching around her from behind, the warmth of Claudine’s breath on the back of her neck, and the erratic beating of her own heart due to their proximity.
“Maya,” Claudine said, her voice low and quiet, but steady. Somehow, Maya expected Claudine to be emotional, for all the stress Maya knew her to be carrying to pour out during a moment of intimacy, and yet, somehow, it was Maya who needed to steady herself.
“Claudine,” she said, as unwaveringly as she could, having to remind herself not to say ‘Saijou-san’ even at a time like this. “Claudine,” she repeated, more firmly. “Earlier, in the stairwell, I-”
“Yes?” Claudine asked, her grip loosening as if to give Maya room to be honest, but she did not move away. “You can’t lie and tell me you didn’t enjoy it, I won’t believe you. But if you do not want anything like that to happen again, if you value your career, then I understand. Le choix t'appartient.”
Maya’s brain was too addled for French, but she understood that the ball was in her court. She also understood that Claudine was implying that to further their relationship at all was to sacrifice something in her career. Claudine had worked in this industry, she knew the stakes. Maya bit her lip, grateful that Claudine was positioned behind her and could not see her. Of course she wanted Claudine. She realized that, perhaps intrinsically, from the moment Hikari mentioned that Claudine was the one on the contract, and her interest had only grown since then. And today, finally holding Claudine against her, finally kissing her, she realized that she did want something more than a relationship as friends or partners as well.
But still. Maya’s entire reason for entering modeling was to pursue the Top, and she wasn’t even close yet. A scandal would drag her down, and perhaps end her career before it had properly begun. It would all but ruin her relationship with her mother. But that was only if there was a scandal…
Maya turned around, now kneeling on the bed as well, facing Claudine. Before speaking, she leaned in again, closing the gap between their lips. It was not as fiery as the first time, not as desperate or rushed, but it was already becoming familiar to Maya - the curves of Claudine’s lips, the soft feel of her tongue, the angle of her jaw as Maya held a thumb against it.
But Claudine pulled away first, even scooting back a little on the bed, obviously unwilling to continue these intimate plays until the unanswered question was addressed. Maya watched Claudine wipe off her lip with the back of her thumb and tried to focus on her career, tried only to think about herself reaching that pinnacle, but somehow, it wasn’t even her own loneliness that broke her down in the end, it was the idea of someone else laying claim to Saijou Claudine. The idea of Claudine wiping away the remains of someone else’s kiss became unbearable, despite the potentially disastrous implications of pursuing any sort of relationship with her, and Maya was unable to tell Claudine ‘this should never happen again’.
So, after a pregnant pause, she met Claudine’s eyes, once again steadying her voice. “I want this to continue,” said Maya. “I do not want to give this up.”
Claudine appraised Maya neutrally, but did not move closer. Perhaps she was trying to see if Maya was still drunk? She tipped her head to the side slightly, her hair cascading around her. “...However?” she asked, implying there was something unsaid to Maya’s earlier confession.
Maya sighed. She had to say it. “However I still plan to aim for the Top. My goal, as always, is to be Japan’s Top Model. So I do not know where that will leave us.”
Claudine laughed a little, in a way that implied she did not find the situation funny at all. “I want you, Claudine, so long as you do not impede my career,” she mocked.
Maya wanted to correct her, to say she was wrong, but the words were stuck in her throat.
“That’s alright,” Claudine said, her tone lighter. She brought her hand forward to trace Maya's jawline. “I already knew that, Tendo Maya. Nothing comes between you and the Top. I’ve already accepted that.” She sighed, moving from a sitting to kneeling position and reaching out to adjust Maya’s hair. “But because you’re so frustratingly impossible, who do you think is willing to put up with you? Honestly… No one else but me, I’d assume.”
Maya felt herself begin to relax for the first time since Claudine’s arms reached out around her to begin this discussion. Her mind was fuzzy, but she thought, perhaps, she had both Claudine’s acceptance and freedom to continue her pursuit of the Top in terms of her career. And of course, Claudine was nothing if not discreet, more discreet than Maya, most likely.
She laid back on the bed, allowing her body to rest, after a long day of runway, socializing, and of course, intimate moments with Claudine. Claudine tossed another water bottle at her, telling her to drink while she got up to dig through her luggage. “It’s true,” Maya said, fascinated with the way she captured Claudine’s attention again at once. “There is no one else for me but you, I’m certain of it.” It was a bold confession, Maya knew. She had only known Claudine a few months, and yet, she did not doubt her words. She was drawn dangerously into the world of Saijou Claudine, and she did not want to leave. Nothing - no one - else, would taste nearly as sweet.
“Get some sleep, Maya,” said Claudine, “And finish that water. You’re drunk. I’m taking a shower. We’re expected up at 9 tomorrow.”
Claudine didn’t acknowledge Maya’s confession, but she didn’t dismiss it either. Maya could have sworn she saw the edges of Claudine’s lips move towards a smile, even. But it was too late. Now, laying back on the bed, Maya was fading into sleep. She would have time to ponder this later. For now, she was pleased that she could communicate this much, at least.