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Maya rushed through her morning tasks on double speed after receiving a call from Mahiru that their shoot that day had been pushed up an hour due to security concerns.
“Futaba says there’s been a leak about the reservation. We want to get in before the place is swarmed with fans,” she said.
Maya walked from room to room, starting her coffee maker, taking her vitamins and supplements, changing her clothes. She paused outside of Claudine’s room, wondering if she should wake her. Surely, she would get her own call from Mahiru, she thought. Unless Mahiru assumed calling Maya meant calling them both.
It was awkward now, since Claudine had put a barrier between them. On one hand, she liked knowing the defined borders of their relationship. On the other hand, she wasn’t happy with where the borders stopped. While she would always respect Claudine’s wishes, her heart ached knowing that truthfully, she was greedy for what lay beyond the barrier, the small taste of more.
She wondered if ‘friends’ and ‘roommates’ helped each other wake up on time. Certainly not by climbing into bed with one another, but she didn’t want Claudine to be upset that she had no time to prepare for the earlier start.
So taking a deep breath, she knocked on Claudine’s door, entering her bedroom, which was quiet and still in the dim morning might. “Claudine?” she called, trying to wake her. “We need to leave early.”
“Maya?” Claudine asked, rolling over but not quite stirring. “Come here.”
Maya knew it was a bad idea, but she moved closer anyway. She let her arm be captured by Claudine’s reaching hand, she let herself be pulled to the bed. “Maya,” she said again softly.
And the greedy part of Maya - the part that wanted to ignore the rules - nearly gave in and laid down beside Claudine, pressing their bodies together, kissing her as she had just days previously. She was right beside Claudine, she was so close, but she stood up again, because there had been a discussion about their relationship, and there was trust, and there was a lot of emotional baggage that came with it.
“Hey, we need to go early,” she repeated, shaking Claudine gently as she stood up.
Claudine woke up, wiping the sleep from her eyes and seeming to get the message. She seemed to measure the distance Maya stood from the bed, perhaps trying to remember if the past few moments were reality or a dream.
Maya poured them coffee, and returned to her routine: watering plants, stretching out her tight joints, packing her bag. It was easier to breathe, she decided, in the common room, than it was in Claudine’s bedroom. It was as if Claudine’s space was becoming Tokyo Bay itself. But despite how difficult it was to wade through those waters, she didn’t dislike it. She couldn’t say that what she was doing now was preferable, really.
She chatted with Claudine as they drove to Ginza, Claudine pointing out a new advertisement on the side of a parked truck: Maya and Koharu, sporting loungewear, Koharu sitting on a couch in a hoodie and matching shorts and crew socks while she held a video game controller, Maya sitting on the floor in front of her, in pajama pants and a crew neck sweatshirt, a bowl of popcorn beside her. “Blue Glitter” was written across the scene in a video game font.
“Maybe I’ll get some, those look comfortable,” Claudine said, searching the company on her phone. “Oh look, there’s more on Twitter!”
She showed Maya an assortment of photos that had been shared: She and Koharu having a fight with the popcorn, Suzu and Koharu fighting over the video game controller, Hisame laying across the couch with a landline phone, the wire curled around her finger, curlers in her hair.
“I’m glad they turned out.”
“The comments look good. They’ll owe you all a bonus for this,” Claudine teased. She furrowed her brow, checking something on her phone. “I think Shizuha and my ‘Arcana’ shoot is supposed to release today as well.”
They arrived at the company but didn’t bother getting out, it was only a stop to pick up the rest of the staff. Kaoruko and Futaba joined them in their car, and once equipment and the rest of the staff was ready, they set out to their destination: a rented ryokan inn with a private hotspring just outside of the city.
Futaba was on her phone the whole time, talking with someone presumably the owner of the property, or staff who had gone out ahead. “Alright, I understand. Nothing we can do,” she said, hanging up and moving to texting.
She nodded at Kaoruko, who shook her head.
“You’re like idols,” she said. “Leaving an hour early didn’t seem to matter.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Claudine.
“The fanclub, they’ve found the place,” Kaoruko said, rolling her eyes.
Claudine looked confused, and Maya couldn’t say she had much more of an idea. They had fans, plenty of them, certainly, but they weren’t… organized, to their knowledge.
It became clear, once the cars approached, however, what Futaba meant. There were dozens of young people, mostly girls, standing near the stone wall surrounding the ryokan. Many had matching homemade T-shirts: MaYaYas. Kaoruko drew the curtains on the car’s windows.
“Oh my,” Claudine remarked, mostly in shock, though Maya thought she detected a hint of amusement, perhaps because this attention wasn’t directed at her.
“Listen,” Futaba said, bringing them to attention. “We can’t open the gate to let the car in because we’re concerned they’re going to rush onto the property. I want you to get out after me, and walk right beside me into the inn. There will be three other staff members alongside us as well.” She peered out through the curtain in the window. “What a mess.”
Maya did as she was told, emerging into bright morning sunlight and loud excited cheers from teenage girls. It was disorienting. The walk to the gate was short, but she couldn’t focus. There was too much to look at, with dozens of girls calling out to her.
“Maya! Please can I have a photo?” “Maya, I brought this for you!” “Maya, here!” “Maya, this way!”
Drawn to the shouts, she walked out of the formation, towards a girl that was beckoning her, holding out a handmade bag. She reached for it, and instantly, more gifts were thrust at her, more hands were reaching out towards her arms, she was being yelled at, consumed by a crowd. “Back up, please stay back!” called one of the security guards, a taller man. He put an arm between Maya and the ever tightening semi-circle of fans, but it wasn’t until another hand on Maya’s shoulder started pulling her backwards that she complied, walking into the entrance and beyond the gate.
She looked over her shoulder to see Futaba pushing her along, all the way up the gravel path to the ryokan. “They really like you, huh?” she said lightly, in the space that was just the two of them, between the gate and the inn.
“I… guess so,” said Maya, unable to think clearly at the moment. Once again, she had found herself unable to move properly, unable to prevent a situation from getting out of hand. It was difficult for her to wrap her head around: she was Tendo Maya, she was calm under pressure, she was able to control herself in tense situations, she was not one to get frazzled. And yet, she was wholly unprepared for that encounter.
She supposed it was because the fans meant well. They just wanted to show her their support, but it was difficult for her to accept it without it getting out of hand. She could do what Claudine did, and ignore her fans completely, but she didn’t necessarily want to do that either. She sighed, entering the entrance hall of the inn, facing Claudine and Kaoruko who were waiting tensely, Claudine with a concerned expression and Kaoruko with an unreadable look.
“Are you alright?” Claudine asked. “Why did you walk over to her?”
She grabbed the bag from Maya’s hands, the bag Maya had forgotten she was holding, and peered inside, cautiously inspecting the contents. Futaba assisted.
Maya refrained from answering, turning to look at Kaoruko. She sighed, shaking her head. “I suppose this will be good for business, but it’s going to be a pain in the butt to get anywhere now that you have stalkers.”
Claudine pulled a plushie and a note from the bag, handing the plushie to Maya. “Maya-sama, I can’t believe I can finally meet you! I hope you do well in your work, and take care of yourself well. Please hold onto this swan, he’s supposed to bring good luck! -Kotori”
“Well, let’s get to work, the stylists are in the back,” Kaoruko said, clapping her hands. “The others will be here soon, but I left the security guards outside to assist them entering.”
They dressed in flowing gowns of white with mirrored panels no larger than an inch long sewn in. Underneath, they wore white bikinis with criss-crossing straps. “Ah, Kaoruko, another outdoor shoot in a skimpy outfit?” Claudine complained.
“Ah, it’s so lovely to hear you so energetic since the break. What salon did you visit, I’d love a recommendation?” Kaoruko teased, hearing none of the complaints.
Once dressed, they were sent to makeup - which was applied carefully with waterproof products. Halfway through, Karen, Mahiru, and Hikari arrived, out of breath and complaining of being bombarded at the door. “It’s crazy out there!” Karen reported. “Everyone has Maya fever!”
Claudine giggled at this. “Maya fever,” she laughed. “But really, this is too much,” she added, turning serious. Her makeup was finished, and it was uncanny - a reflection of Maya. Never before had Maya thought they resembled each other, but currently, it was strange.
Claudine’s eyebrows had been darkened and the shape changed to match Maya’s. Their eyeliner was drawn the same way, in the same color, as was the shadow. The lips were drawn in the same way, and the contouring was done to match the sharper angles of Maya’s face. Even her hair was straightened to match Maya’s. Just like at the ski resort, she had become a blonde, red-eyed reflection of Maya.
“Let’s go before they climb over the fence,” Kaoruko said, sounding only half-joking.
In the back, outdoors, there was a large heated bath, surrounded by lush greenery and a tall stone wall. It was private, and it was steaming a bit, which was inviting on this January day. Nana was outside setting up equipment for the shoot - an elaborate set including rigging that hung directly over the pool so she could shoot straight down from above - and Junna was there as well, though she hung back, huddled in her coat and poring over her tablet.
“I want to lay in a bath for work,” Karen nagged to Mahiru, tugging at her sleeve, as the rest of the staff poured out into the outdoor area.
“It’s more than just lying,” Mahiru chastised, though Maya was sure Karen already knew this. “You would need to pose, to model HANA’s clothing in the best way possible.”
“And be taller,” Hikari said, chopping Karen on the head lightly. She sat on a bench nearby, her hands tucked into her pockets, watching at least the beginnings of the proceedings.
Maya stepped slowly into the bath, the hot water making her shiver. She watched as the fabric flowed around her, blooming alluringly around her in a gauzy draping.
Claudine stepped in as well, her dress matching Maya’s own, even her face and hair matching Maya’s own, but there were subtle differences that she could see as they stood mere inches apart - a freckle on her collarbone, the curve from her waist to her hips, the sharp red of her eyes - and Maya was taken back to the moments they spent together in bed, of learning about every inch of Saijou Claudine.
The first shots were standing, facing the camera at the bath’s edge with the steam rising around them and the lush greenery behind them, dresses flowing about and tangling beneath the water. They tried ‘mirroring’ poses, and Maya was again thrown off by how easily Claudine was able to recreate her ‘Maya’ poses, her distinctive ‘Maya’ looks. A consummate professional. The flash hit the mirrored panels, further illuminating them. Maya also posed for a few solo shots this way, as did Claudine.
Afterwards, they were given floatation devices to place underneath themselves, hidden from the camera’s view, and instructed to float on their backs, the dresses, ebbing around them at all angles. Now, the bikini really came into play, as Maya was submerged everywhere except her face, her hair floating around her under the water. She laid opposite Claudine, their heads side by side, though Claudine’s was upside down to Maya.
Nana climbed up the scaffolding and looked down from above. “It’ll just be a minute or two while I take some test shots,” she said, fiddling with her camera from a platform over the bath.
“No worries,” assured Claudine. “It’s much more comfortable in here than the previous shoot.” She reached back and grabbed onto Maya’s hand, anchoring herself from drifting away in the large, warm pool.
They were quiet as they waited for the shoot to begin, but Claudine’s touch reminded her of Claudine’s work with Urara, and Maya felt her chest tighten as she thought of her encounter with her mother just recently - and her mother’s words of advice.
“Oh yeah, Junna saw it, she’s been in a frenzy trying to figure out a plan for our spring catalogue.” Maya was cut out of her thoughts by Kaoruko’s voice, presumably speaking to Mahiru or Futaba, and she perked up, eavesdropping a bit on the conversation.
“I mean, it was an incredibly good promotion, and she deserved the feature,” Mahiru agreed. “But ‘KING’, that’s just-”
“A declaration of war, I know,” Kaoruko growled.
“We did have a weaker winter run, they might not be pointing the finger at us, it was just happenstance.”
Maya couldn’t see Kaoruko from her angle, but she could imagine the hand she was running through her bobbed hair. “Don’t I know that winter didn’t do as well. Spring needs to impress. Spring needs to sell.”
“Maya… Maya?”
Maya snapped back to attention, away from the distant conversation across the patio, and back to Nana’s voice, calling for her from several feet above the water. “I’m ready to start if you are,” Nana said gently.
“Yes, of course,” Maya responded.
They took a few photos, and Maya was grateful for the serious nature of their poses, for she couldn’t shake the thoughts of Akira and Siegfeld that plagued her mind. She wanted to win - she wanted to break free of the binds she could imagine tugging at her wrists, at her ankles, perhaps one around her neck, pulling her back down to earth. She wished to fly, unfettered, as high as she could. Perhaps that would make her finally feel fulfilled, finally feel less empty.
The water was heavy, it was warm and oppressive, and she found it hard to move in, hard to work in. It was supposed to be ‘easy’ work, but she found it more difficult than usual. Just a few minutes after their first outfit change, she found herself shifting in discomfort: her skin was prickling from the heat.
“Ah, Maya-san, are you alright?” Nana asked, a moment later. Maya could sense Claudine shift off of the flotation device behind her, coming to stand beside her.
“Maya, you’re all flushed, you should get out!” Claudine said, her voice concerned.
She realized then that her breath was coming out faster than usual, but she didn’t have more time to process this, as there was a flurry of people around her then, helping her out of the bath, ushering her into the changing room, ensuring she wasn’t going to faint, helping her change into a robe for the time being. She was given a cool towel to place on the back of her neck, and Mahiru brought her a chair to sit near the edge of the bath, to cool off in the January air and watch the proceedings for a time. Karen brought her a large bottle of water with a straw.
Maya sat in the chair, wrapped in a robe, watching Claudine continue with solo shots. She sipped the water obediently, though all she wanted to do was throw the towel off and get back to work. She cursed her own uselessness - her body or her insecurities or her haste betraying her, making her unable to perform. What good was she - how would she ever reach the top - if she couldn’t even perform one of the critical functions of her job? She sat in the chair, slightly dizzy yet, her hair wet and limp around her, a flightless bird.
She watched Claudine work, whether to study her efforts or to just look focused, she couldn’t be sure. She wished she could look away. For one thing, Claudine was designed to look like Maya herself. Staring at her was like watching herself - Claudine’s hair darkened by the water, her eyes far enough away that the color wasn’t distinct. She was laying on her back on the surface of the water, the skirts of the dress floating around her ethereally like the lady of the lake, one arm reaching up delicately at Nana’s camera which was positioned above. It was an excellent shot, Maya could already tell. Was she falling behind Claudine as well?
She shook her head. Since when had she ranked herself ahead of Claudine, she wondered. Certainly, Claudine had been working for longer, Claudine had more social media followers, or at least she did a month ago. And yet, Maya ranked herself ahead without giving it much thought. She wondered if this was how Claudine saw them as well. She wouldn’t dare ask.
The second reason it was hard to watch Claudine was because it reminded her eerily of the night of the Christmas party. Of what might have happened if she hadn’t stopped them from careening into the freezing waters. Of what she still feared could happen if Claudine stared at the water too long. Secretly, she didn’t want the article Urara was writing to get published. Selfishly, she hoped everything with Kirin could just die down. For Claudine’s happiness, she knew thousands of people didn’t need to know the details she knew, even if it meant there was a chance at justice.
She took a long swig of the water bottle, hoping her face was beginning to return to a normal color. But still, she couldn’t slow her breathing. She wanted to laugh. Drowning, flying away, climbing to a summit. It all sounded so abstract, but at the same time, living it, it all sounded so serious and so real. She recalled the swarm of fans who were ready to close in on her at the gate just a couple hours ago. She recalled Akira’s face taunting her from a magazine cover. She recalled Kaoruko disclosing that the winter campaign didn’t do so well. They were all faces turned towards her, and she was here, unable to even stand steadily, with her head turned downward. She resolved to pursue modeling - to leave behind half of her life in anthropology - and to reach the Top, and yet she was failing in the most simple task of her job.
She wanted to cry, not laugh, she realized. But she hated crying. She can’t remember the last time she cried in public, and she even tried to avoid it when she was by herself unless she absolutely couldn't bear it. So she swallowed it down.
Bear with it, she told herself. Do your work, do good work for HANA and you’ll bring yourself up too.
Claudine climbed out of the bath, slipping into a robe, and came to sit beside Maya, sipping some water. “What’s going on? I couldn’t focus in there,” Claudine said, her voice quiet, so the others couldn’t hear them.
“I’m fine, just got overheated,” Maya lied, unable to voice her concerns without her tears really flowing over.
“Don’t let it bother you,” Claudine said. “We’ve been working together into three seasons now, and you’ve never had a single off day before now.” She smiled lightly, tensely. “But honestly, I’m not used to Tendo Maya being off of her game.” She squeezed Maya’s arm gently through the robe. “Was it the girls at the gate? I’ll go scream at them if you want.”
“No, please don’t worry,” Maya assured her, standing to prepare to finish her work. She could feel Claudine’s eyes on her, even as the staff came to help her get back into form.
After the break, Maya managed to finish her work. There was a post-shoot dinner planned, but between the fans at the gate, and Maya not feeling well, she and Claudine decided to go directly home.
There were fewer fans outside the gate now at the end of the day, but certainly some had been there all day. Maya felt bad for not greeting them, but Claudine, fully dressed in a hat, sunglasses, and mask, grabbed her arm, guiding her directly to the car, not allowing her any chance of wandering off this time. Futaba directed the car to enter the HANA underground parking garage, where they switched to a different car which actually takes them home. “In case of any stalkers,” she advised.
“Great, love that image,” Claudine said, leaning her head against the window, where they had left the curtains drawn.
They called for delivery food on the way home. Maya realized she had had little more to eat than juice, cookies, and onigiri at the shoot all day, and was actually quite hungry. “No workout tonight,” Claudine said. “You’d probably pass out in some park somewhere.”
“I don’t have the energy,” she agreed.
They passed by a different route on the way home, and once Maya braved opening the curtains on the windows, she saw a shop displaying large window ads for Arcana Pajamas, with Claudine and Shizuha with their hands clasped atop a satin-sheeted bed. “Isn’t that a little… suggestive?” Maya asked, nodding at the ad as they passed it slowly in traffic.
Claudine peeked at it, rolling her eyes a bit. “Of course they picked that one,” she said, amused. She shrugged. “Everyone was nice enough on set, very professional, and Shizuha and I go way back. It was nothing uncomfortable. Why? Are you jealous?” she asked, a teasing tone in her voice, her focus shifting back to her phone.
“Yes,” said Maya, realizing as Claudine said it that perhaps that was what she was feeling. Jealousy at Shizuha who posed in such a way with Claudine, on a bed and in skimpy pajamas. Jealousy at everyone in Tokyo who would now gawk at this photo on the daily.
Claudine smiled, shaking her head in amusement, and then seemed to realize Maya was being serious. “What is with you today?” she asked, putting her phone back in her purse. “Come here.”
She gestured to her shoulder, and Maya leaned over, resting her head on Claudine’s shoulder. “I want you to go home and eat well, drink lots of water, get plenty of sleep tonight. You have to take care of yourself. Are you alright? You make me worried,” Claudine said, mumbling this all quietly into Maya’s ear, the brush of her lips sending shivers down her arms.
Maya nodded. “I guess I’m just sensitive to heat,” she said, knowing it was a lie. She had a feeling Claudine knew too, but she knew Claudine knew better than to pry. Claudine had parts of herself that she kept to herself for months, after all.
Claudine nodded. “Ok, well consider my feelings. You scared me today.”
“Of course, my apologies.” Maya closed her eyes, enjoying the rest of the drive leaning against Claudine.