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Maya checked her phone just before boarding the plane that would take them to Hong Kong for the summer catalogue shoots. It was late April, and by all accounts they were behind, but with Hikari and Kaoruko’s creative blocks, combined with the last minute preparations the staff had to go through to plan this entire trip, it was necessary to make arrangements for such a down-to-the-wire schedule. Maya noticed a new email from her agent: New contract offer from Royal.
She opened the email, reviewing the details as the others ensured everyone was present as boarding began. She was familiar with the Royal Modeling Agency, certainly: the most famous in England, but she had never seriously considered going overseas. But the contract was lucrative, with a high salary, plenty of time off, and options for additional work if she wanted it. She would have to think about it on the plane ride, and add it to her growing list of options, from Seiran to her father’s friend recruiting her for a new research project.
Maya had verbally assured Mahiru she was returning to HANA next year, but she was delaying signing the contract, and she wasn’t sure why, exactly. In any case, Maya pondered her options on the flight, Claudine in the window seat beside her, staring out the window all the while.
Claudine had been quiet in the last few weeks, a return to the earlier days of their contract. She told Maya she signed her contract renewal a few days ago, soon after reviewing it. Maya was jealous of the simplicity of her decision, truthfully. For Claudine, there was only modeling. For Claudine, HANA was enough. Wasn’t it enough for Maya?
When they arrived in Hong Kong, it was late afternoon, and they took a shuttle to their hotel to drop their things off and change before walking to a nearby night market for dinner. It was warm, and it felt like a vacation to be walking around late at night with friends, eating and drinking and exploring a new place.
Futaba seemed more relaxed, which Maya was glad to see. She was being teased by Kaoruko who was poking her cheek with the end of an empty chicken skewer, and was crinkling her nose at something funny her wife said. It made Maya feel empty to watch them, to think that her entanglement with Claudine still kept them at arms length.
Maya found herself wishing Koharu was there, valuing her friendship, despite their somewhat awkward relationship. The Seiran models did not come as support staff for this shoot, however, and Maya did not know the additional models who did come. Instead, it was Nana who fell into step beside Maya. “Do you want to try this?” she offered, holding out what looked to be a hand pie.
“Sure,” Maya said, taking a half as Nana broke it.
They ate in silence for a moment, taking in the sites. “I think I need to be more honest,” Nana said at last, and Maya followed her gaze to where Junna was walking beside Hikari, the two of them pointing out different wares hanging for sale.
“Have you been dishonest?” Maya asked. Unbidden, she thought of Nana and Hisame at the Blue Glitter party.
Nana shrugged. “I guess it’s more like… if I don’t say what I feel, no one will understand. Just because Junna and I have been close for so long, I can’t expect her to read my mind.”
“That’s true…” Maya said, unsure of the appropriate response.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to dump this all on you,” Nana said. “I’m not looking for advice, I’m just sorting out my thoughts. I just… I love Junna a lot. I get scared thinking I could lose her.”
Maya nodded, understanding this a bit. She imagined herself in England, working for Royal, thousands of miles from Claudine, and it frightened her much more than the culture shock or the language barrier.
“Thanks for hearing me out, Maya.” Nana smiled, then ran forward to catch up with the others, calling out Junna’s name.
Maya considered Nana’s words on the walk back to the hotel, certain that Nana had been giving her advice as much as she had been ‘clearing her thoughts’. Nana thought she should “say what she feels” to Claudine? But what, exactly, would that do? Claudine knew how she felt. Claudine had known that for months. The problem lay with Claudine accepting her feelings. A familiar frustration crept into her, the vexation of loving a woman who might love her back, but found it safer to push those feelings into Tokyo Bay.
It was the root of all of her stalling with the contract, she realized. Did she want to stay another year on a contract as close as she could to Claudine, with no guarantee their relationship would progress, or did she want space at another agency for her own sanity?
She decided to sleep on it. She knew Mahiru wouldn’t press her to sign anything until they were back in Tokyo, at least, so she could have a few more days to sort out her thoughts. When they got back to the hotel, Claudine excused herself to take a shower, and Maya reviewed the schedule for the next few days. Because of the tight deadlines, the days were long, with most days having three scheduled shoots: an afternoon, evening, and night session. She would have to get used to being awake from noon to past midnight, she realized.
The next morning she found herself sitting with Claudine at breakfast, a little later than she usually had her morning meal and coffee, while Mahiru reviewed the schedule for the day with the staff gathered in the hotel’s dining room. “First, we have the afternoon rooftop shoot, then a short break, and a sunset shoot inside the store in the business district. Then we are breaking for dinner, and we have our night shoot, where we are switching between the street level and the pedestrian bridge but the main theming is the neon lights. We are estimated to finish around 1AM.”
They were driven to the first location, a nearby hotel, and given a new room with staff to change and get their hair styled and makeup applied. Since this was a catalogue shoot, there would be several outfit changes, Maya was sure, and she could see some of them hanging on the racks. Bold, jewel tones, floral patterns, and slimming, tailored jackets. They definitely took inspiration from Hong Kong cinema, Maya could tell, noticing similarities in the jackets, dresses, and other garments hanging. It was by far her favorite collection she had done with the company.
Her hair was styled into an elaborate updo with a mother-of-pearl clip holding it in place, while Claudine’s hair was kept down, her bangs trimmed and fluffed up for a more ‘80s look. Their makeup was retro as well, fitting Kaoruko’s ‘homage’ theme.
Claudine was silent for most of the styling, not even checking her phone, and Maya was too nervous to chat much with her stylist, so she also sat quietly while they got ready. It was awkward, and felt like a step backward. Karen came by, and Maya was grateful for the distraction. “Mind if I snap a picture?” she asked, her phone already out.
“That’s fine,” Maya consented, but she didn’t turn her head, knowing it would throw off the stylist. Karen preferred candids, anyways. She heard the shutter click and the stylist move her hands away, and finally she turned towards Karen. “Have you been busy?”
“Crazy busy. I’ve been pulled in to helping with the catalogue, since it’s so far behind. But it’s fun, working with everyone like this. I like the late nights every once in a while.”
“Make sure Kaoruko is paying you what you’re worth for all that extra effort,” Claudine advised. “Plus all those tens of thousands of followers you’ve gained her on social media, that’s got to translate to serious revenue for her.”
Karen grinned sheepishly. “Well the social media wouldn’t work unless I could take pictures of all the staff’s work, so it’s everyone’s win, really.”
“You’re too humble, Karen.”
Karen beamed with the praise, and after securing permission for behind the scenes photos of that day’s shoots, she was on her way. “You’ve really come around to her,” Maya commented.
“She’s got a good heart,” Claudine said.
It looked like Claudine was going to go back to her silent meditation, so Maya impulsively spoke up before she could think much on it. “Want to go out tomorrow morning? Before the schedule starts?”
“Go out?”
“Sightseeing, maybe?”
“Oh. Sure.”
“Great.”
At least this would give Maya something to look forward to. They were led onto the hotel rooftop, under blazing sunlight, which according to Nana, was the exact kind of shot she was looking for. The sky was blue with a few fluffy clouds in it, and behind the area where they were shooting photos, the staff had hung some sheets on clotheslines, a dynamic backdrop as they blew in the wind. Maya’s eyes adjusted slowly, but she still found it hard to open them fully without tearing up under such bright light, and she noticed most of the staff besides the photographers were wearing sunglasses.
“Alright, let’s get started,” said Nana, calling everyone to order. “We have a lot to get through, so we need to be quick. Junna is going to be reviewing what we need for the catalogue and ads, and helping direct the stylists and Mahiru with coordinating outfit changes. Please listen to her to have things set so we can start changing right away once we finish one outfit. Any questions?”
Nana looked around, but everyone was quiet. “Alright. The concept is ‘homage’. Let’s try to capture a feeling of nostalgia, of promise, of passion, of desire for something out of reach.”
And they were off. Maya found herself posing in front of and half-obscured by the sheets on the clothesline, standing by the edge of the roof, sitting on the ledge of the roof while Claudine stood beside her, and then she was rushed off to change into her next outfit. A few more poses, then the next outfit, and then her hair was restyled in just a couple minutes to a different variation with a different accessory. Maya was given sunglasses to accessorize with at one point, a change she was very grateful for, and she used her newfound vision to glance at Claudine. Her partner was beautiful as always, looking nostalgic as the scene called for, but Maya could feel a sort of emptiness in her gaze.
They took another break as the sheets on the clothesline were switched out for lines of drying persimmons. “Claudine, is everything alright?” Maya asked, as they stood in a shady corner of the rooftop sipping water. A staff member was fanning them, and another was combing Claudine’s hair. Maya doubted Claudine would confess anything with so many eyes and ears around, but she had to check.
“Fine, just a little warm,” was all Claudine replied. They worked like a finely-oiled machine until it was time for the break.
After the break, they regrouped at a noodle shop, closed for the evening. Maya could hear the sounds of cooking in the back, and occasionally she could see a young man poke his head out from the curtain dividing the kitchen from the seating area, trying to catch a glimpse of the shoot, and she assumed the owners were still running a takeout service from the back of the restaurant. They were re-styled, this time in edgier-looking streetwear, doubtlessly designed by Hikari, and posed with the other models at a party, drinking and playing mah-jong.
“I don’t know the rules, someone set up my tiles,” Claudine laughed as Nana was setting up the camera equipment, and Maya watched as another model rushed to lean over Claudine’s shoulder and help. Maya couldn’t help but feel irritated at the way the other model, dressed in a tight black dress, leaned in close to give Claudine tips about moving the tiles and the two of them laughed at something Maya couldn’t hear. She didn’t even think she was jealous of the closeness, really. It was just at how easily this woman made Claudine smile and laugh.
The shoot started, and it was the most relaxed Maya had been at a photoshoot perhaps ever. It took some time for her to adjust. There was plenty of fake liquor and real snacks on the tables, the gambling, and Claudine smoked a cigarette as she pretended to be winning at mahjong. Since this shoot was more robust and cinematic, there was only one costume change as they changed the scene into a noodle restaurant, and Maya sat back to back in a booth behind Claudine, the two of them pretending to eat noodles as the other models moved about the scene. It was fun, and Maya enjoyed everyone’s lightheartedness after the long day of travel.
But there was still the third shoot, and so the room was torn down for a third time, and the staff brought them a dinner they could actually eat, staff included, in order to fuel up for the last push. Maya sat at the same table as Claudine, once they were both changed back into casual clothes, and they ate a bit, but Maya always found it hard to really eat her fill when she was about to turn around and do another photoshoot. “Want to stop at a late night restaurant on the way back to the hotel tonight?” Maya asked.
“I mostly just want some ice cream,” Claudine said, smiling a little guiltily.
“I’m sure that can be arranged.”
Maya barely remembered the last shoot, since it was her third of the day and so late at night, but it involved a lot of climbing stairs to a pedestrian bridge, then back down to street level, then back up, and changing clothes in a small shop with bad lighting. At one point Karen brought her and Claudine energy drinks, and she drank hers gratefully. Maya was grateful that at least in Hong Kong, it seemed that not many people cared what they were doing, and no one really gathered to watch.
Towards the end of the night, she was posed with Claudine in the stairwell to the pedestrian bridge, leaning on the rails, sitting on the stairs, and unexpectedly, as she stood, Claudine leaned on her from the stair above, her arm and chin coming to rest lazily on Maya’s shoulder. “Great, excellent, stay right there,” Nana coached.
Maya couldn’t tell if Claudine was just exhausted, or if she thought this was a good pose, or if she wanted to be close to Maya, but the effect was the same. It was difficult to not turn her head and look at Claudine, to see what expression was on her face.
And then it was over, and they were a few inches apart again. When the shoot was over, Maya felt like she was sleepwalking. They did stop for food on the way home, but it wasn’t a romantic, or even very satisfying trip, since Maya mostly wanted to be asleep, and Futaba was with them to make sure they got home safely. The next morning, Maya woke up feeling much better, and checking the schedule, she still had five and a half hours before she had to report to the stylists.
Maya was about to wake Claudine, but noticed she had a missed call from Koharu. She decided to step onto the patio and return that first.
“Koharu?”
“Oh, Maya, sorry for calling you while you’re working.”
“No problem, we haven’t started our day yet. What’s going on?”
Koharu paused, and Maya thought her friend sounded almost sheepish. “Well, I have a favor to ask, actually.”
“Anything.” Maya’s answer came quickly, and she realized after she said it that she meant it. Koharu had been an amazing friend to her in her time modeling, she would be happy to help her out however she could.
“Well, I heard that you weren’t likely to take the Seiran contract, but I have been trying to negotiate into getting that top contract for myself. It gives me more leverage if you… don’t turn it down right away.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry if that puts you in a tight spot. I don’t need a ton of time, maybe another week max! Just enough time for them to see I’m the best fit, but that their single-mindedness with you is narrowing their field.” Maya had to admit, it was a good strategy on Koharu’s side. It would probably get her a good contract, if it worked out.
“I told Mahiru I would give her an answer when I am back in Tokyo, but I can probably delay another 48 hours after that, so that would be 5 days from now.”
“Thank you, Maya! Is everything alright with you and your work?”
Maya shrugged before realizing Koharu couldn’t see that. “I was just about to get breakfast and do some sightseeing. So at least there’s some time for leisure.”
“I won’t keep you then. I’ll see you when you’re back!”
Maya woke Claudine up, and once they were dressed, they went to a nearby cafe for breakfast. “You want to ride the giant wheel don’t you?” Claudine said as they sipped their coffee, eyeing the large Ferris wheel that mirrored the one in Odaiba.
“I wouldn’t mind…” Maya said back, pleased when Claudine broke into an annoyed ‘I knew it’ smirk.
They rode the Ferris wheel, pointing out various sites around Hong Kong. Whenever Maya could feel Claudine’s gaze drifting too far over the bay, she prompted her to look at a different temple or skyscraper, until she looked over at Claudine and found Claudine staring at her instead of the city. “Is this your idea of romance, Tendo Maya?” Claudine asked.
“Is it working?” asked Maya, daring now, perhaps because she was overseas, or because she was running out of time on her contract.
In reply, Claudine closed the gap between them and kissed her, their car on the Ferris wheel rocking slightly with the shift of their bodies. The kiss was passionate, a venting of weeks of feelings that had been building, but over too quickly, as the cycle finished and they were again on ground level in Hong Kong.
They spent the rest of their free time stealing touches, kisses, even glances where they could. They took a ferry across the bay to a park, and visited the Palace Museum, and held hands down a quiet corridor. Then kissed again in a quiet corner of the botanical gardens. Maya knew it wasn’t exactly that they were hiding from anyone who might see them, it was more that this affection wasn’t earned through proper communication, it was stolen bits and pieces they desperately craved without doing the work to secure them.
The modeling work continued that evening, and the next, and the next. On the way home, Maya finally braved the subject, as they were packing their rooms to return to the airport. “Claudine, I- I want to talk about us.”
Claudine was folding up some of her clothes and paused with her sweater in her arms, staring at Maya. “Oh, sure,” she said, coming to sit on the bed.
Maya sighed, knowing that there was nothing to do but say the things she wanted to say. “I like you. I want to be closer to you, to date even. But I don’t know where you stand.”
Claudine bit her lip, as if digesting this confession. “Oh Maya, of course I like you,” she said. “I want…” she trailed off, and Maya wasn’t sure if it was because Claudine didn’t know what she wanted, or because she was afraid to ask for it. “Can I have a little time to think on this?” she asked, after a moment.
Maya wanted to deny her, wanted to say no, that her entire future was hinging on Claudine’s answer. She wanted to tell Claudine that she has had an entire year to think about the answer to this question, and how can possibly not have it sorted out by now, but she did really like Claudine, and how could she deny such a genuine request, after she had asked Mahiru for more time, after Koharu had asked her for more time, after the entire catalogue needed more time? “Of course,” she said instead.
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